


Remember Me Hermione

by CaelynAilene



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 18:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 88,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14026392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaelynAilene/pseuds/CaelynAilene
Summary: The war is over and still the damage continues, a secret romance torn apart, one person halfway across the world, the other left with no memories of their love, can they find their way back together? somewhat AU starting fourth year, ON HIATUS until while I finish Seek and You Shall Find and while I go back and edit this story itself but it will be completed





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my 2017 NaNoWriMo novel and while I reached the 50,000 word limit and then some I'm still not done however I need to push to get writing again so I'm starting to post. Comments are always welcome as I have tried to get this all edited since November but I miss things sometimes, plus it always helps the muse ;. This story was inspired by a pair of posts I found on pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/pin/97812623135385498/ & https://www.pinterest.com/pin/97812623135385499/ I came across them by accident but they stuck in my head and just wanted to be written into something more. So here it is and will be for the next several weeks to months.

August 21, 1999  
Hermione,

My darling, by the time you read this I will be well on my journey halfway across the world to try out life in America. I am sorry for going so far away. It would have been hard enough living as a Muggle in the UK, but to be so close to you and unable to see or talk to you would have killed me. This way I can continue to use magic and find my way in a new place. I imagine adapting to a new life there will take me awhile. I am quite sure though that that is a false hope. Potter and the Minister told me of your efforts to change the minds of the Wizengamot but you know as well as I do that there is no way in hell the Ministry will ever allow a Death Eater to stay in the UK free to do as he pleases no matter how many times he may have fouled up the Dark Lord’s plans especially since it wasn’t purposefully most of those times. Being a Death Eater they are so convinced Imperiused one of their prime fighters, their golden girl, just seals my fate. So I suppose this is my goodbye. 

Gods Hermione, I don’t know how many times I’ve said that word to you during the years of this cursed war but I’m thoroughly sick of saying it and sick of believing it. Things will get better I promise. So let’s not call this a goodbye, ok? Because we both know that no matter what it takes I will find my way back to you princess. Forget their laws and paranoia. I will stand by you always. I will see you again. So this isn’t a goodbye. This is a “Be back soon.” Whether it takes two years or twenty, we’ll see each other before you know it. Until then, we’ll have to try not to forget what we were. Promise me, my love, that you will not forget as I surely won’t because it is all I have left.

I love you, Hermione. Remember that.  
Yours,  
Draco

Hermione was deep in the study of a book in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place, hunched over chewing the end of her quill when the owl came swooping into the room. It circled trying to find a place to land amongst the towers of books some bright and shiny new others so old they were nearly crumbling. She didn’t see it until settled down and hopped into the middle of the open book in front of her. Her first instinct was to shoo it away but she saw the parchment tied to its leg. Only then did she look up and realize that this was an eagle owl, eagerly she untied the parchment knowing the letter must be from Draco. She hadn’t been able to see, speak, or even write to him since he had been arrested; nor could he contact her in any way. 

His sentencing hearing must be complete. Her heart fell, all of this studying, her gaze ranged over the myriad of books and notes spread out before her. She was out of time. No, he was out of time. She hadn’t found the answer. It was too late now. She could hear Kreacher grumbling about not being able to set the table for supper but ignored it in her rush to unroll the letter in her hand.

The first sight of his handwriting brought tears to her eyes, she swiped them away roughly and began to read though she dreaded his words, dreaded hearing his sentence. She thought they had come to a reasonable agreement, yet there was still the hidden fear. The color in her cheeks grew as she read, and her jaw began to ache as her teeth clenched tighter and tighter. After she reached the end the parchment dropped to the table as her hands flew up over her eyes and she doubled over. She began to shudder, her sobbing drawing Kreacher from the stove. He stood fumbling with a dishcloth in his hand, taking a step towards her then backing away, reaching out then pulling his hand back unsure of what to do. Madame had always wanted him to leave her alone completely when he was emotional but he had seen Miss Granger accept comfort from Master Potter and Mister Weasley. He finally manage to shove the dishcloth in her hand, then pat her back once before once more retreating to the stove.

Long minutes passed as she wept, calmed, read the letter again with bloodshot eyes, then began sobbing anew. It was the slamming of the front door that brought her out of her misery, shot her to her feet and sent her storming up the stairs to the entry hall.

“Harry,” she bellowed as she ran.

He caught sight of her just as he moved to take a step up the stairs to his room, eyes redder than Ron’s hair, parchment clutched in her hand, hair wilder than he’d seen it since before the Yule Ball. He took a deep breath and stood waiting, knowing she was in immense pain. Even if he couldn’t understand it, he would be there for her, the one friend who had never abandoned him and was always on his side. He would be by hers.

“What the bloody hell happened?” she seethed.

“I -” but he could get no further because she broke in.

“I thought they had agreed to simply limit his magic and allow him to stay at the Manor, a house arrest of sorts, and now,” she cried in a tight voice brandishing the letter, waving it in his face ignoring him as he flinched away, “he tells me he’s going to America.”

Harry took her gently by the arm and led her into the sitting room, steering her into a curved chair near the fireplace, speaking quietly the whole way, “Hermione, we knew that was a long shot. Kingsley agreed to it, felt it was appropriate considering the circumstances and took it to the Wizengamot, but there was push back in the court from those that lost people in the war. Katie Bell’s parents testified about her time in St. Mungo’s. Madame Rosmerta was called in.”

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard before looking up at him and daring to ask, “Ron?”

“He answered the questions as honest and clearly as he could, without adding anything personal,” Harry turned staring off into the distance rather than meet her eyes, “He may hate Malfoy, but he still cares for you. Hurting you isn’t something he can bring himself to do, not purposely anyway.”

Her eyes narrowed and brow creased as she retorted, “Oh no he would never try to hurt me purposely, he’s so damned good at doing it accidentally,” when Harry didn’t respond she continued hoarsely, “He still thinks he has a chance with me.”

It was a statement, not a question but Harry answered as if it were, “Maybe, I don’t know. Maybe he was just trying to be a good friend. Or maybe he’s trying to be the objective witness they’re teaching us to be in Auror training,” he peered at her from the corner of his eye. “Anyway it didn’t matter, the Bells were really all the court needed. We tried. I told the court about his not identifying me at the Manor, lowering his wand when he had Dumbledore cornered and wandless on the tower. Luna and Mr. Ollivander both told how he brought them extra food and would check on them whenever he could while they were being held at the Manor. Neville took the stand and testified that when the Carrows insisted the seventh years perform the Cruciatus on first and second years as punishment that while Crabbe and Goyle seemed to relish the duty no one else did. He said that Gryffindor first years came back from sessions with Draco or other students in much better shape that they were faking it. Ginny gave nearly identical testimony as Nev. The fact that he did what he did to protect his mother was brought up and summarily dismissed by many of the members.”

“Pompous twats who sat on their arses cowering while the rest of us fought. Like they wouldn’t do anything to save their own families,” she huffed.

He nodded, “Yes. That was also mentioned but of course it was met with a chorus of denial. Really like I said the Bells were all they needed. They felt, as many do, that the Wizengamot had been too easy on Death Eaters last time, letting too many of them get away. Letting too many of them make deals, claim to be Imperiused. They insisted that was why so many of them were free to join Voldemort again this time. They want to squash any future dark magic rebellions”

“They’re punishing him for what his father did in the first war. Sending Lucius to Azkaban this time isn’t enough, correcting the mistake they made before isn’t enough “she stood up and began stalking back and forth in front of the fireplace, voice rising with each pass until she was nearly screaming, “They’re being harder on him because they let Lucius weasel his way out of prison last time. They’re not just punishing him for his own actions, they’re punishing him for the actions of his father,” her voice began to crack in anger and frustration.

Harry shrugged, “In part,” was all he said, unwilling to say aloud what she already knew.

“Me,” she said quietly,defeated, her shoulders drooping head hanging she sank back into the chair. “It’s me. They’re punishing him because of me. He said they think he Imperiused me.” Again she waved the letter in the air.

Harry simply nodded then turned and went to the side table pouring two glasses of Firewhiskey. He crossed again and handed her one, “May I?” he asked gesturing to the letter.

She handed it to him sitting back in the chair staring at the glass he had placed in her hand.

“Drink it,” he urged, downing his and setting aside then beginning to read. When he finished he knelt on the floor at her feet returning the letter to her, “I won’t pretend to understand Mione. You never told us. You never said a word. If we had only known how you felt.”

She sat forward in the chair shaking her head, “You wouldn’t -”

He held up a hand that he then ran through his already messy hair when she stopped speaking, “You’re right. We wouldn’t have understood. We, well Ron certainly, would have thought Draco had Imperiused you just as so many members of the court believe.”

She laughed harshly rolling her eyes, “Harry you’re the one that insisted he was a Death Eater from the beginning of sixth year. You were the one that insisted he had taken the Dark Mark. And yes you were right,” she rushed to add before he could speak, “but you would never have believed that I loved him of my own free will. You would never have believed he loved me, that he could love me, after all I am a Mudblood.”

He winced at her casual easy use of the word, “Hermione don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s like Dumbledore encouraging us to call him Voldemort rather than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Words have power only when we give it to them. If I use Mudblood and other Muggle borns do to, if we take ownership of it maybe they’ll see that it doesn’t mean anything. Besides maybe they don’t all actually say Mudblood, maybe they’re polite enough to say Muggle born but it’s what they believe isn't’ it. I had to be under a curse. He has to have fooled me. But this,” she looked down laid the letter on her lap and began running her hands over it, smoothing out the wrinkles and creases she had put into it from clutching it so tightly in her fist, she nearly whispered, “this is the proof. And still no one would believe this would they?”

Harry took the glass that she clearly wasn’t going to drink and set it on the floor next to him before lifting her chin to look her in the eyes and taking her hands in his, “No, they probably wouldn’t. At least most people wouldn’t. Those of us closest to you know that what you feel is real, and hard as it is to imagine we even believe he loves you. We do not understand why you never said anything about your feelings, though never even telling us that the two of you were studying together,” he paused and shook his head, “I suppose I can even understand that, we would have wanted to go with you to protect you. Not that you ever needed protecting but still.”

She laughed ruefully and squeezed his hands.

He continued, “We would have been in the way. He would have been...he was the only one that could have been a decent study partner for you. Merlin knows Ron and I drove you nutters with our study habits. Awful as he could be. Arse that he could be, he is nearly as brilliant as you. If you hadn’t had to deal with us those first few years...well who knows what you could be doing. Your marks were incredible anyway but they could have been the best ever seen at Hogwarts.”

“And that still wouldn’t have changed the opinions of so many about Mudbloods.”

He sighed inwardly, “I still can’t help thinking if we had known all along that you were at least studying together it would have been easier.”

She peered at his eyes through his thick glasses, “What was it that finally convinced you? Don’t deny that you didn’t believe when I first told you. I saw it in your eyes.”

He sighed, “Do you really blame me? When you hid it so well?”

A myriad of thoughts crossed her face but she simply shook her head before speaking, “I should have trusted you, if not Ron or Ginny. I should have trusted you. I should have told you when he first spoke to me with care and civility, when he first showed me that he wasn’t his father’s son. Maybe then you would have believed me. Maybe then we could have saved him, saved countless others. But you haven’t answered my question Harry, what was it that finally convinced you?”

Knees beginning to ache he sat down on the floor cross legged, looked up at her, and said simply, “Narcissa.”

“His mother?” her eyes went wide.

“Yes. She testified on his behalf. You know that she never took the mark. One of the few so high up in Voldemort’s inner circle that didn’t. She stayed away from the majority of the fighting. Everyone on our side that was interviewed as being at the Battle or having been at the Manor said that while she was there she didn’t fight unless it was in defense. So when she spoke some listened.”

“Draco did the same yet they wouldn’t listen to him.”

“He had the Mark.”

“Like he accepted that willingly,” she scoffed.

“He testified that he did it of his own free will,” Harry replied then continued before she could reply, “I know, I know it was all about his family honor. Taking the Mark to take his father’s place and make up for what his father had done getting caught and sent to Azkaban can hardly be the same as stepping forward on his own in a different time and taking the Mark, others don’t and won’t see it that way. They didn’t even listen to Narcissa when she told of the first time Draco contacted her to say he thought that he had found the girl he wanted to marry but he was sure that Lucius wouldn’t approve and he was feared that she wouldn’t either. She spoke of him coming to her on a break and explaining his confusion and shame at falling for a Muggle born witch. It all made sense to me then.”

She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, “What made sense?”

“When he came down to the dungeon to get Griphook to look at the sword when we were at the Manor he said ‘You have to help her. I can’t do anything. If I even tried we’d both end up dead.’ Ron was yelling and carrying on, Mr. Ollivander was moaning, Luna was...well being Luna and trying to keep all of our spirits up. I wasn’t even sure I’d heard him correctly and it seemed so strange to be coming from him. It was when Narcissa spoke that I realized I had. He truly loves you. I’m not sure how that all figures into him being a Death Eater. He was trying to save his mother, maybe he thought if he pleased Voldemort he could somehow save you but he must have had some twisted plan in that case, not that it matters now.”

“It wasn’t enough to sway the court,” she stated grimly. “Too many of them believed his mother was simply lying to save him.”

“Yes.” He didn’t need to say it; she already knew, but he felt he had to say something.

“So his punishment wasn’t prison, but instead to either give up doing Magic. I’m assuming they’d have bound his magic or put a trace on him.”

Harry nodded.

“So he’d have to live as a Muggle here in the UK or leave the country to be able to continue to do magic?”

Again he nodded.

“And I’m going to assume the Ministry in its infinite wisdom will not be sharing the entirety of the proceedings or his record with the Magical Congress of the USA?”

Still another nod, “Kingsley has written a letter to the president of the MACUSA and explained that Draco was a child caught up in the Dark Side of the war, that he was forced to participate to save his own life and that of his parents.”

She snorted, “Well that part's true enough.”

“He goes on to say that Draco simply wants to start a new life away from all that transpired, away from those who would judge him for a lifetime for choices he made as a juvenile under duress.”

“Under duress?” the laugh that escaped was almost a bark, she shook her head in disbelief, “Under duress? That’s what he calls it? Threat of death from the worst known Dark Wizard in recent history, even worse the threat of watching his mother tortured and killed before he is, or works being left alive to suffer with those images? That’s duress? That takes understatement to a whole new level.”

“Kings is on your side Hermione. He did all he could. He has had a personal conversation with the MACUSA president to explain how he felt after she had read the trial transcript. She’s willing to give him a chance.”

“Under surveillance no doubt,” she said snidely.

He shrugged, “It would be that way anywhere. Kings is on your side Hermione. He did all he could. This was the only compromise he could come up with that the court would agree to. The majority of them simply wanted to do with Draco as they’ve done with most of the other Death Eaters captured since the war.”

“Lock him up and throw away the key, in other words,” she huffed and shook her head.

“Yes.”

“The fact that he turned himself in, that he was underage, that he’s been on house arrest for the past year while awaiting trial, none of that means anything to them does it?”

“No.”

They sat in a tense silence for a few moments before she wondered aloud, “If I weren’t a part of the equation, would they have let him stay here?”

He leaned back, hands behind him on the floor and stretched his legs out next to her chair thinking before answering, “I honestly don’t know.”

She chewed her lip for a moment before sitting up straight and announcing, “I’ll just have to move to America then. My parents will understand, they can visit any time they want.”

Harry shook his head, “They won’t let you. They won’t allow you travel papers. You may be of age but they’ll say you have to stay and serve out the contract you signed to work with the Ministry,” he raised a hand, “and they won’t let you switch departments to Magical Law. There’s only so much Kingsley can do. Even as Minister he has little power without the approval of the Wizengamot.”

She leaned back in the chair, one arm crossed over her stomach, the other elbow resting on that arm as she chewed absently on her thumbnail, eyes darting back and forth at random, muttering, “Obliviate… It worked for my parents… I got them back… Would they consider it? Would it work? Would it be reversible? What if there was no way? Would it still be worth it?” She went quiet for several minutes still chewing her thumbnail, occasionally muttering words unintelligibly. She stood slowly and walked to the Black Family tapestry, running her hand over Draco’s name on the wall.

Worry began to crease Harry’s face. He leaned towards her peering up at her over the frames of his glasses, “Hermione?”

She turned suddenly, “I have to see Kingsley.”

“The Ministry is closed no Mione, let’s go have dinner,” he suggested. “I’m sure Kreacher has it ready.”

“No!” she insisted, “Kings works late and it has to be today! It has to be now!”

He stood and moved in front of her hoping to delay her or at least get more answers, “But why Mione? Why can’t it wait?”

“It just does. You can come with me or stay here, but don’t get in my way,” she ordered as her hand went down to her wand.

Harry acquiesced stepping back to let her pass, “I’ll come along.” Whatever she was planning he was worried that she was walking the find edge of sanity and he wasn’t sure she wouldn’t try hexing the Minister or anyone who got in her way as she tried to get to him.

She marched to the door with him following close behind. Out on the stoop she took hold of his arm and apparated them to the Ministry. Once inside, with no one covering the front desk any longer she simply continued her march straight up to the Minister’s outer office where she was only briefly stopped by the Minister’s assistant rising to speak, the witch in question sat back down and went back to work when she saw Harry shaking his head slightly eyes wide.

Hermione swept into the office, stalked over to the desk, looked up at the ebony man who stood before her and announced, “Kingsley, we have to talk,” then sat down.

The Minister made brief eye contact with Harry over her head before nodding, taking his own seat, and replying, “Alright Hermione,” then gestured for her to speak.


	2. Chapter 2

August 22, 1999  
Draco,

My love, by the time you receive this the rumors of my obliviation may have reached you across the Atlantic. They are true. By the time you hold this in your hands I will already have forgotten you and all that we shared. The Ministry no longer believes you Imperiused me. I insisted that they have multiple healers examine me and none could find any signs of Imperio, nor could any of the Aurors or Unspeakables. Harry turned over your wand to them so that they could cast any number of Priori Incantatem spells on it and found again no trace of you casting the Imperius on me. They now believe I have been a victim of war, that I was “taken advantage of” and that what we had was “all a mistake” no matter how many time I tell them that you, Draco, were my choice. Apparently the feeling that Muggle borns are not as good as Purebloods is not merely a belief held by those in favor of dark magic. Oh others may claim to be tolerant, but their immediate reaction being that I was weak and taken advantage of shows otherwise. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. But I say with utter confidence that I have no regrets of the time we spent together. They can strip away every single memory I have of you. They can erase our past with a flick of their wands and they can force you to more halfway across the earth, though I hold out hope that with my obliviation they will cancel that part of your sentence, but they can’t change the past. There will always be a part of me that knows you and loves you. At this point they are still debating whether they will only take any good memories I have of you or all the memories I have of you. If I had to guess I’d say they’ll take only the good. They’ll want me to hate you, but please Draco, do not lose hope. Just don’t give up on me, okay? We’ll make it through this together and I will wait for you. Always.

Yours,  
Hermione

It was no owl, Ministry, or MACUSA representative that delivered her letter to Draco. It wasn’t even his own mother. Harry had insisted on taking it and so he found himself on the doorstep of a building in the near center of downtown New Orleans. He had carefully researched the area before coming. Well actually he had had Hermione do the research telling her he was on a practice field mission in cooperation with MACUSA aurors in training. He had looked over her research as he had waited for his Portkey. The only information he had gotten personally had come from a visit with Narcissa who was now alone in the Manor trying desperately to erase all signs that Voldemort had ever taken up residence there. He hesitated only a moment before ringing the buzzer for the apartment Narcissa had told him was Draco’s.

He was turned around taking in the neighborhood, the young magnolia trees up and down both sides of the street seemed to have been decorated, strands of beads hung here and there throughout each one though only towards the tops of the trees. This was clearly a popular parade route during Mardi Gras. The elaborate wrought iron railings on the balconies stacked two and three high on most buildings also had random beads wrapped around and the potted plants hung above the railings were a bright pop of green that had caught Harry’s eye when Draco answered, “Yes?”

He turned back to the speaker on the wall next to the multi-paned door and pressed the button to speak, “Malfoy I have something for you.”

“Potter?” came the question, almost tinny through the speaker.

“Yes,” Harry just barely stopped himself from nodding his head, instead shaking it as he realized Draco couldn’t see him and so nodding would be useless.

“I won’t go back. They can’t put me in Azkaban now,” Draco insisted nearly shouting in clear panic.

Harry shook his head again and this time sighed, he had known after all that this would not be an easy task, “I’m not here on behalf of the Ministry,” he said calmly.

There was no answer for a moment, “I’m supposed to believe that?”

“Malfoy just let me in. Talking this way is ridiculous,” Harry implored.

“Let you in so you can arrest me,” the other man scoffed.

This time there was no head shaking, rather the brunette’s eyes went skyward and he fought to keep a civil tone, biting his lip momentarily and taking a deep breath before speaking, “I’m not even a full Auror yet, besides the fact that even if I were I’d have no jurisdiction here. I’m here on behalf of a very dear friend.”

There was a pause, then an almost choked, “Hermione?”

“Yes.”

“Come on up,” the door buzzed. Harry pulled the door open and began up the steep narrow stairs, squinting to see in the dim light. Draco stood in the doorway to his apartment, barefooted in jeans and an open white dress shirt, hair more disheveled than Harry could ever recall seeing it, even after the narrow escape from the Fiendfyre. When he spotted Harry, the blond stepped aside and allowed him in.

Harry stood and stared at the nearly empty room he had walked into. The apartment seemed to be one large room, small kitchenette to one side, and a door that could only lead to the loo. He turned to the blond, “Where is all your furniture?”

“This is all I need,” Draco replied quietly, running a hand absently through his hair.

Harry look around again, “But you don’t even have a bed,” he remarked.

Draco walked over and sat on what appeared to be a couch, “This is a futon, it’s a bed and a couch, all I have to do is lay the back down. This along with the table,” he gestured to the small battered square coffee table sitting in front of the futon, “it’s all I need. It’s not like I have visitors.”

“You left the UK so you wouldn’t have to live like a Muggle and yet here you are doing exactly that, living like some Muggle university student,” Harry’s eyes, nose and forehead seemed to scrunch up in his confusion, perhaps this was a cover and Draco was hiding something.

Draco shook his head, “No, I’m not living like a NoMaj.”

“A what?” Harry asked.

“The American term for Muggle,” the blond rolled his eyes, “if you’re going to be here and communicate with witches and wizards here you should probably learn to use the words they use so you don’t confuse them. It might also make them like you more and appreciate the effort you’ve made. They’ll be more cooperative and more likely to talk to you or work with you.”

Harry thought back had he seen that term in Hermione’s research? He probably had but just hadn’t paid enough attention to it. He’d really only asked her to do the work to help distract her as she adjusted to her life after obliviation. She knew something was different but couldn’t figure out what it was so he had provided a distraction. Still he had to admit he was surprised that Draco had put so much thought into how Americans referred to things and mentioned that to the other man.

Again Draco’s eyes rolled, “Did you think I’d continue to be a pompous arse? This is my new home. I have to fit in. I have to learn to get along if I’m spending my life here so I worked on learning the language as it were.”

Harry nodded and looked around again, “So how aren’t you living like a NoMaj? I don’t see any evidence of magic here,” he gestured around the room, “and this is not a magical building.”

“The building is not in and of itself magical no. However New Orleans itself is such a hive of magic, especially old magic that it’s hard for any NoMaj to tell when magic is occurring. Honestly though I think any NoMaj here is either accepting of the possibility of magic or are so completely in denial they would never know it even if they saw it, or would never acknowledge it. Those are the people who scoff at the ones who come in search of spirits, particularly the spirit of Marie Laveau. Stand still, relax, let go for just a minute, then focus and you’ll feel it.”

Harry did as suggested and after a moment even closed his eyes so he could concentrate on what he was feeling, almost a buzz or low hum of energy that must have been magical in origin, “So this is why you chose New Orleans.”

“Well that and it has that French feel to it, reminds me of summers with Mother’s family,” he rested back on the futon and closed his eyes, “I actually considered moving to France. Mother still has access to at least one cottage and one chateau. I could have continued to live as a wizard there but I would have been much more closely watched as I wouldn’t be very far from the UK.”

“You would also still be quite close to Hermione while not being allowed to see her.”

“That was definitely a factor. I don’t know how closely the French Ministry works with the UK’s so I didn’t know if they would abide by the sententcing requiring us to stay apart but I didn’t want to risk it and I didn’t think I could live with the specter of the happy memories from when I was young.”

It was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes, “We’re not old Malfoy.”

“Speak for yourself, I’ve aged a decade in the past year alone and you honestly can’t tell me that you don’t feel older than you would have if there’d never been a war.”

Harry simply nodded.

“So you said you had something from Hermione.”

“Trying to get rid of me already?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not like you exactly bring back the best memories of myself and my life, but honestly I just want to know what you brought; what you were allowed to bring. Oh here sit already,” Draco pulled out his wand and transfigured the table into a chair.

“This is really all the furniture you have isn’t it?” Harry commented as he sat down.

It was Draco’s turn to sigh, “Ok what do I need to do to prove to you that I’m not hiding anything? Whatever it is just tell me?”

Harry’s eyes went wide, “You’re serious.”

“I just want to move on and get whatever this is you have from Hermione.”

Harry pulled the letter from the mokeskin pouch around his neck and passed it over to Draco, then he stood and walked out over and out onto the balcony to give the other man some privacy. Long minutes passed with Harry watching the hustle and bustle on the street below with no sound from the room behind him. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a rusty chair folded up and leaning against the wall. With a quick surreptitious wave of his wand the chair was reasonably clean considering he still hadn’t mastered cleaning spells. He opened the chair and sat down, lifting his feet up onto the railing. Just in reach he saw a strand of purple beads. He grabbed them and looped them over his hands attempting to recreate the Jacob’s Ladder he’d seen other children do back in primary school. He’d just managed to break the beads trying to disentangle his hands from the knot he’d made when Draco came to the door looking far more haggard than before.

“Well you didn’t blow anything up or curse the messenger,” Harry said grimly.

Draco’s eyes were wild when he turned to look at Harry, “You let her do this?” he demanded.

Harry shook his head, hands up in front of him wandless and replied, “Does anyone let Hermione do anything?”

Draco’s head dropped, “No. If she’s made up her mind there is no stopping her.”

“You wanted someone to blame,” Harry said, “I understand that. I did try talk her out of it, tried to convince her to just keep up her research into magical law, but she was sure this was the only way. Hell, even Kingsley tried to talk her out of it. She wouldn’t be swayed however so he took it to the court. They didn’t deliberate for more than ten minutes I don’t think. They practically jumped at the chance. Some of them seemed to really delight in the option. She wrote that letter and made me promise to get it to you while they were sending for an Unspeakable to perform the obliviation.”

Always pale Draco’s faded to the point that his skin and hair matched, “The Unspeakables? They couldn’t just call in an auror?”

“She insisted they use an Unspeakable and again the Wizengamot all agreed readily, most of them smirking the whole time.”

“Why?” disbelief rang in Draco’s voice.

Harry sighed, “I don’t know for sure but I can tell you what I think.”

When the blonde nodded Harry continued, “I think she was worried that even an auror might not do it well. Might make a mistake and remove memories not related to you. I think she also was hoping that her insistence that it was someone as skilled as an Unspeakable would prove to the court just how serious she was, just how much you meant to her and they’d call off the whole thing.”

This time the blond head shook, “I never thought of her as naive before now.”

“I’m sure she knew it wouldn’t work but there was always hope. She’s counting on you.” Harry insisted.

“To do what? How can I possible reverse what they did? She hates me now right?” He sunk down to his heels, leaning against the wall, and stuck both hands in his hair holding his head.

“No.”

“No?” grey eyes peered up at Harry.

Harry shook his head.

Draco’s voice trembled, “They took it all?”

Harry nodded, “It was like watching a surgeon work with a wand instead of a scalpel. You could see the concentration on his face as he used Legilimens to read her mind as he carefully removed memory after memory while removing as little else as possible.”

“Everything?” came the strangled voice, “Every memory good or bad she had of me, of us, is gone?”

“Yes.” 

The scratch in Harry’s voice caught Draco’s attention. He though only a few seconds before saying, “Then she’s lost a lot of her memories of your friendship as well hasn’t she.”

He was met with silence and the slightest movement of the brunette’s head up and down just once.

Draco sat all the way down on the balcony, stretching his long legs out in front of him so that they reached all the way to the railing. His shoulders dropped as did his chin. After a moment of thinking he said, “So what do we do? Do I came back and try to charm her? Start all over again? Try to get her to remember things they’ve made her forget? Will they even let me return?”

Harry shook his head, “Not for a year.”

“A year?”

“She wanted them to allow you back right away. Kingsley even argued for it-”

“You keep saying the Minister is arguing for me. Are you sure you don’t have that backwards?”

“No,” Harry replied, “Kingsley may not like you or care about you in any way.”

A sharp bark of laughter came from the other side of the balcony but Harry ignored it and continued speaking, “He does care for Hermione and me.”

Draco’s head whipped around, “You? What do you have to do with anything?”

Again the brunette’s eyes rolled skyward and he sighed.

“Fine you’re her friend, and you delivered the message but really what else?”

“I spoke at your trial. He believes what I said about you,” he said simply.

“Wonderful,” came the wearied reply, “just one more thing I owe you for.”

“Malfoy not everything is about you you prat!”

Draco opened his mouth to speak then closed it and chewed his lip for a moment, “So if she gets her memory back you get your best friend back.”

“That would be one reason why Kings is on our side. He also knows Hermione well enough to know that she will notice the gaps in her memory and they will bother her and she will be hounding anyone and everyone she can to find out what happened. She was able to recover her parents’ memories so she thinks you can do the same for her.” Harry said.

“I’ve never even tried before, I wouldn’t know how to begin. Besides it was probably a stronger spell than Obliviate since it was done by an Unspeakable. There’s no guarantee it’s even reversible,” Draco objected.

“It may not be, but you… we, have to try,” Harry replied.

“You’ll help me?”

“As much as I can and not just for Hermione.”

Draco lifted an eyebrow, “Surely not for me.”

“For you in that it will still be for Hermione but no that wasn’t who I was thinking of,” Harry began twisting the broken strand of beads still in his hand around his fingers as he spoke.

“Then who?”

Harry shook his head, “It’s not mine to share so I’ll just say that there are those who have suffered memory loss as a side effect of other curses and if we can find a way to reverse Hermione’s purposeful loss maybe we can help those with accidental losses.”

Draco cocked his head to one side consideringly, “Like Lockheart?”

“He and others,” Harry replied, “Mungo’s has a ward full of people they don’t know how to help. Who knows maybe what will work for Hermione won’t work for them but it’s worth a shot.”

The blonde looked out across the street and nodded, “I don’t know that I can come up with anything the mediwizards at Mungo’s haven’t tried but if it works I’d share. Maybe I can do some good for a change.”

Harry didn’t know how to respond to that so he simply didn’t. The two men sat in a somewhat companionable silence for a few minutes before either spoke.

“How do I get a hold of you?” Draco asked, “There are no UK to US Floo connections I know of, though I suppose they must exist at least for the government. I don’t have an owl or any other bird even if they flew that far.”

“I have a Muggle Post Office Box,” Harry replied, “I also have a mobile phone.”

“How do you keep a mobile phone working? Don’t you live at the old Black house on Grimmauld Place?”

“I do. I actually also purchased the home next door so I can come and go without constantly having to apparate perfectly onto the top step or simply disappear into the house and make my neighbors suspicious. When I first bought it, I put a door in the connecting wall. I always leave my electronics in the Muggle side but one day I forgot and brought my phone into number 12 and it was fine. I didn’t even realize I still had it in my pocket until it rang. This thing,” Harry held up his Nokia 6160, “is not bothered by magical interference at all. It also seems to be nearly indestructible. I’ve dropped it more times than I can count, then stepped on it or kicked it into something and not a scratch.”

“Who else do you know has a phone? I thought you didn’t communicate with your Muggle relatives.”

“I don’t. Hermione has one and she uses it to keep in contact with her parents. Kings is looking into using them as a way for Aurors to keep in touch in the field, we just have to have enough people willing to try it out.”

“I don’t have one currently but I have been looking at them. I suppose I could get one and I can call you or isn’t there some other way to use them to communicate?” Draco asked.

“You can type messages to be sent, texts they’re called, but it can take a long time, to type them that is they send instantaneously.”

“Still,” Draco said, “with the time difference that might be the best way to handle it.”

“Well then give me something and I’ll write my number down for you.”

Draco shook his head, “Just tell me, I’ll remember it.”

Harry raised an eyebrow but shrugged, “44-7976-8837”

Draco repeated the number back to him.

“You have a memory just like Hermione, no wonder the two of you were always at the top of the year.”

The blonde’s head shook, “No, she remembers everything. I’m good with just some things instantly, others I have to study for much longer to be able to recall.”

Harry’s lips twisted, “Yeah, how much longer?”

“Well I need to read over the information at least three times, unless it’s numbers or something I’m actually interested in like potions.”

“Still I suppose it makes sense that you two connected over school work,” Harry said, “Well I should be going. I have a plane to catch. Call or message me when you make a decision. Give me paper and I’ll leave you my PO Box too.”

This time Draco got a pen and piece of paper passing it off to the brunette then taking it back as he escorted the other man to the door, “I’ll do what I can; I just don’t know what that is right now. I’ll let you know when I have an idea. Have a safe return trip. I’d tell you to give my love to Hermione but...well… just watch out for her all right.”

“I will.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note to explain the email addys, I first started posting at ff.net and the site is weird about posting fake email addys or websites and since I didn't know what the format would allow here so I just left it with AT in place of @ and DOT in place of the .

9/30/99

15043625369 - Potter this is Malfoy, add my number to your contacts

HP - done

DM - ready to talk about plan, not this way though, takes too long, you have any better suggestions? I know the time difference makes calling tough

 

10/1/99  
HP - do you have e-mail?

DM - e-mail?

 

10/2/99  
HP - ask someone, you’ll need a computer

DM - that’s some electronic thing?

HP - yes and you’ll need a connection for it at your apt

DM - non magical communication is complicated

HP - you’ll figure it out

 

10/5/99  
DM - have computer, have email dlm80ATyahooDOTcom

 

10/6/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Malfoy  
You seem to be picking up non magical communication rather quickly. Someone had clearly been really nice to you. What’s the plan?  
Potter

 

10/6/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Potter  
I have a package to send you with a Pensieve, a vial of memories (with more to follow), and some other things if you are still willing to help, but first I have a question. It occurred to me that the Ministry in their wisdom may have made you and others swear an Unbreakable Vow not to speak of me to Hermione and that would cause a problem with my plan, someone Hermione trusts really should be with her.  
Malfoy

 

10/7/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
M  
No there are not vows. The Unspeakables and the Wizengamot wanted anyone they thought might ever speak of you to her to take one but Kingsley stood up and really used his position as Minister and told them there was no way they were going to make that many people take an Unbreakable Vow or any other vow. He said it was simply ridiculous. He pointed out the fact that those of us who know you and are close to her would be unlikely to speak about you for any reason. You can send the package to my PO Box. I’ll make sure I keep everything safe.  
P

 

10/8/99  
DM - quick question

HP - yes?

DM - does H still have the letter I sent to her before moving here

HP - I have it

DM - ok thanks

 

10/13/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
P  
The package is in the mail. Rather than try to explain here in an email I sent detailed instructions in the package along with all of the things you will need for the first time using the Pensieve. There is a letter enclosed for you and one for Hermione.  
D

 

10/18/99  
HP - package received, will do this Saturday

DM - let me know how it goes

HP - will do


	4. Chapter 4

10/23/99

Hermione,

I have begun this letter so many times and each time I find I am without words to continue. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that this is unusual for me. Actually just a few short months ago you would have said that that was unusual about me and therein lies the rub. I suppose I should start by reintroducing myself. I am Draco Malfoy. I was once nearly your enemy and then one of the most important people in your life. Well you were one of the most important people in my life. In all honesty you still are which is why I have written this. Now as I’m sure your head is spinning with questions at this moment I want you to stop reading this letter and ask Potter for the letters he is holding. After you have read them and talked to him then continue reading this.

 

She looked over at Harry sitting in the chair on the other side of the fireplace, “I don’t understand. Who is this Draco and how does he know me? Why would someone I’ve never met, never even heard of say that I am one of the most important people in his life?”

Harry stood and held out two pieces of parchment, “I’m pretty sure he wanted you to read these. I know they will answer some of your questions but I also know it will leave you with a lot more. Read them and I’ll answer anything I can.”

She took the letters from him, placing the first one on the side table. He stepped back and filled two glasses with Firewhiskey thinking she might need a drink after reading them and knowing that he needed one to fortify himself for the interrogation to come.

He watched as she read and reread both letters, flipping back and forth between them, chewing her lip, mumbling to herself, taking out her wand and casting any number of enchantments on them before she finally looked up at him confusion shining in her eyes.

“This is my handwriting; I know that,” she hesitated, “but I don’t understand. I dated a Death Eater? I would never… would I? Who is this Draco? I don’t… there don’t seem to be any gaps in my memory. No, this couldn’t be… it must be an elaborate forgery. Was I Imperiused at some point, that would make sense? But what would be the good in that??

Harry handed her the glass of Firewhiskey and let her continue thinking out loud. He knew it was best when she was like this to simply let her wear herself out on questioning before trying to actually talk to her, he wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise anyway. So he just sat and listened.

“He cares deeply about me if he was willing to leave the country, move halfway across the world. If this is real that is? And if I really submitted to Obliviation I must have cared for him deeply as well, but how is… How? How could I love someone that was on that side of the war? Did it start before the war? Our relationship that is?”

She stood up and began to walk around the sitting room, “His name, it seems somehow familiar, not that I know it or him but as if I’ve seen it somewhere before, but where? Was he in the paper? Oh there must have been stories written in the Daily Prophet about him and his trial. I can simply go look for back issues. I could do that now.”

At this point Harry stood up and took her gently by the arm, “I have copies of all of the articles that mention Malfoy and those that mention the two of you but for now let’s start here,” he led her to the wall and pointed, “this is probably where you have seen his name most recently.”

She reached up and touched the name on the tapestry, “I don’t… he’s a part of the Black family? Well of course he was if he was on Voldemort’s side in the war. It only makes sense. But how… Harry have you been to Mungo’s for a physical lately?” she asked suddenly.

He shook his head, “We had our annual physicals for the auror department just this week Mione. No one has cast anything on me. I have a clean bill of health - physically and mentally. This really is real. You were in a relationship with Draco Malfoy as hard as that is for any of us to believe.”

She stepped back and raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t know?”

He shook his head again, “Not until after the war. You kept it a secret from us not just Ron and me but all of us. Which was understandable Malfoy and I had been enemies since day one of our first year at Hogwarts, since the train ride actually. Somehow at some point you two became study partners, then friends, then a couple from what I understand.”

“From what this Draco person told you,” she scoffed.

“No, from what you told me,” he said.

“Me?” her eyes went wide.

“Yes, we sat here in this room many nights before and during his trial and you shared with me some of the details of your relationship. You nearly tore apart the library here trying to find something, anything to help in his trial. You were the one that sent me with that letter you wrote to give him personally.”

This time it was her head that shook, “I just don’t…” her voice trailed off as she again turned to look at the tapestry, reaching out to touch his name once more but pulling her hand back at the last second, “Kingsley, I need to see Kingsley.” She turned to head to the fireplace.

Harry stepped in front of her with yet another piece of parchment. “This is from Kings.”

“How did he… you told him? This really is real?” Her eyes were wide and her voice shook.

Harry simply nodded.

She took the parchment and read:

 

Hermione,

Harry has spoken to me about Mr. Malfoy’s plan to help you regain your memories. Officially I have to advise against this as the sentencing from the Wizengamot was final and you made the choice to be Obliviated of your own free will.

Unofficially if there is anything I can do to help you, Harry, and Draco please let me know. I will be anxious to see the results. 

I wish you all the best in your endeavour.

Kingsley

 

She sat down in the chair dazed, then spent the next several minutes reading and rereading all three letters in her hands. She put them down in her lap and stared into the fire for a few minutes more before trading them out for the letter on the side table, taking a deep breath and beginning to read.

 

I hope that you are reading this after reading the other two letters. I’m counting on your investigative nature to want to know all you can before continuing. Potter came to me with your letter and said that you are counting on me to help you recover your lost memories, or maybe you really meant for me to just win you over again but I feel it necessary for you to be fully informed of our past. I have spent the last month or so researching various ways to go about helping you recover those missing pieces. There are spells obviously to reverse the Obliviate but I am positive that neither I nor Potter are strong enough to counter a spell cast by an Unspeakable, so I looked into other means. I don’t know if Potter told you but I am living in New Orleans for a number of reasons none of which are important right now but all of which I hope that I can share with you at some point. NoMaj, sorry Muggles have a variety of techniques they use and many are related to diet and exercise. This may sound strange to you but I have included several bottles of vitamins in the package that I mailed to Potter. You should take one each day of the vitamins D, B6, B12 and folate, as well as the Omega-3s, what they all do I don’t know however I have been assured by more than one NoMaj healer, doctor, here at the local universities that those vitamins will be a benefit to your brain functions. Also in the box is a book on yoga as daily yoga and/or meditation is suggested to help you focus. Thirty minutes daily of exercise is also recommended and I as I know you do not care to ever simply sit still doing essentially nothing I didn’t think that you would want to meditate, but yoga would help you focus and meet the physical activity requirement at the same time.

 

She looked up at Harry, “He really does know me well, doesn’t he?”

“Where are you?” he asked.

“In the letter?”

He nodded.

“Wait have you read it?” she demanded.

He held both hands up in front of him, “No! It’s your letter I wouldn’t dare read it, however we have been emailing and he sent me a letter of my own with instructions so I know much of what is in your letter.”

“E-mailing? He was a Death Eater but he’s talking to Muggle doctors and using a computer? That makes no sense,” she squinted her eyes and twisted her lips in confusion.

“War changes people,” Harry said simply, “and it’s not just as simple as saying ‘He was a Death Eater.’ There were, well let’s just say extenuating circumstances.”

“Extenuating circumstances? Wait, Malfoy?”

Again he nodded.

“Malfoy, as in the same family in whose manor Voldemort holed up for the last year of the war. The same manor in which I was tortured and we barely escaped.”

“Yes.”

“So he was there?”

Harry took a deep breath. He had been afraid that this would happen, “Hermione let’s take this one day, one memory at a time. Let him share things as he thinks works best okay. Your questions will be answered. He won’t hold back from you and if he did I would tell you as would others.”

“But… fine.” She returned to reading.

 

I have also consulted with a local Wiccan priestess and gotten advice from her. I attempted to contact a local voodoo queen as well but they were less receptive. It seems that voodoo is a very secretive religion which is strange especially here in New Orleans the home of the best known voodoo queen of all Marie Laveau. People travel for hundreds and even thousands of miles to visit her grave here. If I hear back from them I may have more to add to what we are doing. In the meantime I have sent a Pensieve and a few vials of memories for you to view. While you are viewing them I would like for you to wear the Discman I sent and play the CD enclosed. I watched my own memories as I was pulling them for you and felt that some of them needed more background more information, or maybe I simply wanted a chance to apologize for some of them. You will hear me narrate some parts of the memories. Potter assures me you can use the Discman in his other house and I have done some investigating and practice to discover that Pensieves can be used in non magical locations. Before you and he view the memories, yes he will be with you as I think it is the best way for him to come to understand our relationship as well, he will say a spell over you that was given to me by the Wiccan high priestess I spoke with. I did not share anything about our magic with her, the last thing I need is to break the International Law of Wizardry Secrecy and be tossed from yet another country. The high priestess assured me that this spell has helped members of her coven recover lost memories. When this is all over I would love to spend some time talking with you about Wiccans. I find members of that religion fascinating. I wonder if many of them are Squibs or if they are simply so in tune to the world around them, to nature that they have been able to tap into that power.

I struggled with what memories to send you first and in what order. There were several ways I thought of presenting the memories to you. I’ll be honest I spent quite a bit of time trying to decide. Our relationship has not always been positive. I was downright atrocious to you for the first three years of school. I have no excuse and you will see those memories so all I can say is I was very much a product of being brought up in a ‘Purebloods are best’ house and everyone else was beneath notice or worse, again that’s not an excuse but as I’ve discovered Muggles think that would be a case of nurture overwhelming nature, something else we can discuss in the future, I hope. So on to the memories.At first I thought I would just send them in chronological order. That would keep me from hiding any memories. You would know I was being truthful because you would see me being a pompous arse from the first time we met. However I was worried that if you saw all of those memories first that you wouldn’t want to see any more. I considered that older memories might be more firmly embedded which would mean that there might be echoes of them left in your brain. NoMaj who suffer from Alzheimer’s Disease I’ve learned often retain their older memories for much longer than more recent memories so that might be the same for you. The next thing I thought was start with the good memories, the best ones first. Again though I was worried that that would leave you accusing me of hiding the bad memories. Another thought that occured to me was to send them to you in reverse chronological order. That might jog your memory more easily and it would present the memories to you in a mixture of good and bad. That still didn’t seem to be the best way to handle the situation though. So what I finally decided to do was send them in what will seem to be a random order. They seem random even to me but I sat down and made a list of memories I felt it necessary to share with you. Some are very good memories, some are awful, some are nightmarish, still others seem to be neither good or bad but just there. So I’ve worked out a schedule for sending memories but I will be talking to Potter to see if the ones I’m sending are actually having any effect on your memory, depending on how it works I may change what I send.

I’ll be honest this is for me quite a selfish endeavour. I want you back. I want you in my life again. I am also livid that the Ministry and the Wizengamot felt this truly was an acceptable alternative to merely banishing me. I’d love to prove to them that they don’t have the power they think they do. Potter has checked with Kingsley and there is nothing in the statement from the Wizengamot that prohibits us from outright trying any of this. They are just that arrogant. We are within the letter if not the intent of the law.

The first memory I have chosen to share with you is actually a chain of several memories from fourth year after the Yule Ball. You’ll hear more about them as you watch. 

I have waited until the end of this letter to say this but I miss you my darling. I will not give up on you. I will not give up on us. I will do everything I can to reconnect with you. Even if every new thing we try fails, I will keep trying.

Love,  
Draco

 

She sat back in the chair, looked up at the ceiling, once again chewing her lip, and held the letter close to her heart.

 

Hermione looked over at Harry questioningly "Why are you willing to help me I got the feeling you don't actually like Draco."

Harry thought for a moment before responding "You're right I don't like him, never have and he doesn't like me either or at least he never did. We seem to have come to an understanding now though. You are important to me and I want to see you happy. You were happy when you were with Draco. I may not have known at the time that that was why you were happy but I can see it looking back. You are not happy now; you haven't been happy for months, since before the trial. I'm going to do whatever I can to help you, even if it means helping the person who was once my worst enemy. Well, almost my worst enemy. Like Draco I want to prove the Wizengamot wrong. They overstepped their bounds. They should never have agreed to this. They think they're above reproach. They think what was done can't be undone and I think it can. And it's not just for you. There are implications beyond recovering your memory. There might be others we could help too."

She thought for a moment before replying "You're thinking of Neville."

"Yes," he responded "maybe what works for you will help his parents and others like them who have suffered curse related memory loss."

She nodded and stood "Then let's get started."

He lead her through the connecting door into number 13 Grimmauld to the room he had prepared just for this. It was a small room nearly empty. In one corner sat a comfy chair, an old recliner threadbare in several places, that reminded Hermione of the chairs in the Gryffindor common room though it was not red nor gold. It was a dusky navy blue. Against the opposite wall leaned a rolled-up yoga mat. In the center of the room stood a rectangular card table. On the table sat a Discman next to a slim CD case, a pair of headphones, and a stone Pensieve.

Hermione walked to the table. Her eyes wandered over each of the items. She picked up the CD case and opened it, inside sat a disc with something written on it. She looked closer the writing on the disc said simply "play me with first memory." She removed the disc from its case and placed it in the Discman then plugged in the headphones and put them on her head. She turned to Harry and said "I'm ready."

Harry stepped up to the table next to her, picked up the vial of silver fluid, opened it, and poured it into the Pensieve. Then he turned to face her and recited the spell Draco had asked him to say "Powers and emotions, tied to a witch's heart is where it hides, help her through her agony, bless her with her memory." he then turned again to stand next to her by the table and took her hand before saying, "All right."

Hermione pressed play on the Discman and they both leaned over placing their faces in the pensieve. The sensation of falling overtook them for a moment. When they landed she looked around and could see that they were in the Hogwarts Library. It had been so long since she had spent time in the library it felt as if years had passed.

She noticed herself sitting at a table. She stepped closer with Harry at her side. She looked again it was a much younger version of herself or at least it seemed to be a much younger version of herself. Time she felt had not been kind to her. Though only 19, she felt, and felt as though she looked, much older.

Looking at the table in front of her younger self, seeing the books splayed before her, hair pulled back and not nearly as bushy as it had once been she realized that this was as Draco had said not long after the Yule Ball. As she considered these things she heard Draco's voice in her ears. She assumed it was his voice as she had no memory of what he sounded like and it wasn’t a voice she recognized.

“As you look around I'm sure the first thing you'll notice is yourself sitting at the table furthest back, almost in the corner. You were sitting alone this first time, which was a good thing for me. I would never have even ventured into the same section of the library as you if Potter and Weasley had been with you. Keep looking and you’ll see me in the same section but as far from you as I could be.”

She turned and looked behind her seeing a boy with white blonde hair sitting neary curled up at a table, hiding behind his Runes textbook. As she watched him she noted that every minute or so he peered over the top of the textbook to the young her.

“I was a Slytherin, in case you can't tell. Some of our lot may be brave like you Gryffindors but I was not one of those. I didn't dare be brave enough to approach you after the way I had treated you and your friends for the previous three years so I bid my time, coming closer every other day or every few days and moving a seat or table closer to you, as long as you were alone that is, if you weren't I slunk back out. Watch and you'll see what I mean.”

Days seemed to go by almost as if someone was flipping the pages of a picture book. She saw him come in and sit closer, she watched him come in seeing her with Harry and Ron or other friends, watched his face fall and his shoulders drop before he turned and, well yes slunk away.

“I thought for ages about what I could say to you. What I might be able to ask you that you would respond to? I practiced a number of things in my room alone while the others were off doing Merlin knows what. I had become quite fascinated with you. It probably bordered on obsession, but it wasn't that I wanted you and was determined to have you. Rather I wanted you to like me, to see me for who I felt I could be. Before you ever spoke a kind word to me, you made me want to be a better person. Now if my timing is right it's time for me to stop talking and let you watch. The disc will continue to play though you won't hear anything until the end.”

The days continued to flip by until Draco was sitting at the table next to her younger self on the same side so he would be less obvious when he looked at her. She found herself eagerly searching his face, wondering what he looked like now, how much he had changed over the four years since this moment. She hoped for some spark of recognition but none came. Frustrated she continued watching as the young Draco looked over his notes, looked at his Runes book, looked to young Hermione, opened his mouth and promptly closed it. 

 

The blonde took a deep breath, turned to the young girl and spoke quietly, “Granger, I seem to have mixed up at least two of the Runes from lecture today. Could you please help me sort them?”

She looked at him, mouth pursed, eyes squinting, brow furrowed. Adult Hermione could almost hear the gears turning in the head of her younger self as she tried to determine if this was a trick or set up of some kind. Finally she nodded though all she said was, “Show me.”

He slid the parchment containing his notes to the end of his table, purposely not using his wand to float it to her. Then he sat with both of his hands in clear view quite obviously, at least to the adult viewers, trying to appear non-threatening.

Young Hermione hesitated, staring for a moment at the boy then frowning at the parchment before using her own wand to float it to the table in front of her. She bent over the parchment reading through it quickly, picked up her quill, made a few changes then floated it back to land in front of him without a word.

“Thank you,” he said.

She merely nodded once stiffly.

They continued studying silently for a bit longer before the girl collected her belongings and began to leave.

As she did he spoke once more, “Thanks again Granger.”

This time she looked at him but responded in no other way.

The scene shifted, this time the boy sat at the end of his table in the seat nearest hers. They both studied in silence. He was writing with his quill on a piece of parchment. He would write, stop look at what he had written, compare it to his book, write again, look back at his book, finally he threw down his quill in frustration. She looked over at him and raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I can’t get this rune drawn correctly,” he answered her unspoken question. “Would you show me how to do it? I’ll owe you one, or rather I guess I’ll owe you two since you helped me last week with my notes.”

She looked at him for a moment longer before standing and replying, “Which one?”

“Runespoor,” he said.

She stood up and moved to stand next to him, “Show me how you’re doing it.”

He picked up the quill, dipped it in the ink, and drew, before he had reached halfway she said, “Stop. You’re holding the quill wrong to draw that one, to draw most any rune. Have you noticed how Professor Babbling holds hers?”

He shook his head, “I never looked at her hands no, I look at the board and what she’s written and drawn. I don’t recall reading anything in any of the books about holding the quill a certain way. Show me please.”

She picked up his quill and showed him how she positioned it in her hand then drew the rune to show him, “It's similar to how you have to hold a calligraphy pen,” she said.

“Calligraphy? What is that?”

She looked at him, dropped the quill, and stepped back to her own table, “Nothing that would interest you.”

He thought for only a second before replying, “So it's something Muggle, what is it?”

“What do you care? You need something else to look down on us for?” She snapped.

He held up both hands, “I deserve that-”

“That and more,” she retorted then turned back to her work in a huff.

“It's something that helped you learn a better way to hold a quill and draw Runes than I know so I'm curious that's all,” he insisted.

She peered at him through the hair that had fallen over her face as she'd leaned into her books. 

He waited for a while longer just looking at her before giving up, “Okay I get it you don't want to talk to me. No worries, I'll leave you alone, but thanks again for the help.” 

He stood and began carefully piling his books, collecting his ink and quills, and putting all of it into his satchel. He had just put the bag over his shoulder and turned to leave when she spoke, “It's a special form of Muggle writing, a particular style done with certain pens or markers, almost the Muggle equivalent of a quill.”

He looked over his shoulder and smiled, “Interesting, thanks again. Don't forget I owe you one.”

“Two,” she shot back and then ducked her head to hide the ghost of a smile on her face but not before he had caught a glimpse.

The grin on his face doubled in size as he walked away.

Once more the scene shifted, through the windows on the far wall Hermione and Harry could see that it was now spring. No longer bare, green leaves sprouted in the trees, small buds, flowers appeared as well. 

The two adults looked to the table where the young Hermione had been sitting in each of the previous memories. The teens were both in the library studying. This time however they sat at the same table on the same side with a chair between them. Each had their own books and notes spread out before them. They studied in silence; a silence that was for once not completely uncomfortable. 

After only a few moments young Hermione spoke, “Um Malfoy... nevermind.” She turned quickly back to her books.

Young Draco looked over at her, “What is it? Did you have a question?”

She shook her head, “It was nothing, nevermind.”

He sat up straighter, “You have a question. I owe you one anyway.”

“Two,” she muttered.

“Okay I owe you two. Whatever it is ask, it’s not like I’m going to think you’re dumb I already know you're bloody brilliant.”

She turned face him fully and whisper yelled, “What is this? Why are you here?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“This,” she leaned forward and gestured to the table, his books, his papers, and him sitting so close to her, “You hated me from the first time you laid eyes on me.”

Draco thought for a moment, “Maybe I did -” he began.

She huffed.

“Okay I did. It wasn't you I hated really; it was the idea of you. I mean I hated that a muggle-born was beating me in all of my classes.”

“You hated it? Or was it your father that hated that a Muggle born was beating you in all of your classes?” she asked.

“Yes, it was my father, but that made me hate you,” he replied.

“And you just suddenly changed your mind? After you let Daddy do your thinking for you, you couldn’t even come think for yourself I'm supposed to believe that?” she was incredulous.

“No, I know you won’t. I wouldn’t expect you to. I wouldn’t believe me if I were you, but I have to start somewhere. I've realized not everything my father says is right. He's not always right. I'm beginning to wonder if he's ever right.” 

Hermione sat back, “You’re serious aren't you?”

“Yes.”

“You're really wondering if what you've been taught at home is correct.”

“Yes.”

“What in Merlin’s name made you think that?” she asked.

“For starters, you,” he said simply.

“Me? I don't understand.”

He sat forward, “You know I was raised, as were many of our pureblood classmates, to believe that those of muggle blood were less. Some believe they don't belong here at all. My father may have followed Voldemort but once the man was gone, well let’s just say Lucius has always been practical. He believes everyone has a use. Mother’s family was much more strict in their hatred of not only Muggle borns but also of half bloods. She doesn’t seem to feel quite the same though I’m not sure why I think that. She’s never said anything outwardly positive or negative about Muggle borns. She doesn’t participate in those conversations that others in our circle do. Maybe I’m finally paying more attention to her I don’t know. All I know is from the first day of potions you knew everything. You were the first to master every charm, every spell. You were even better at potions that I was and I'd been practicing potions for years with Snape even.   
It just makes me think. You are a Muggle born and it all comes to you so easy. I have to study for hours on end.”

She laughed roughly, “Why do you think I'm sitting here? I started miles behind the rest of you.”

“But you catch up fast,” he protested, “I’m seeing that it's not that Muggles aren’t smart. They just don't know magic. You're not the only one. Even I’ve heard the rumors about Potter's mother. My mother once muttered about how perfect Lily was. Even the Slytherin boys had their eye on Lily Evans and all because she was like you, bloody brilliant. Not that any of them really would have tried to date her especially not once she’d hooked up with Potter’s father.”

“I know I do well in class, but was has you so convinced that I'm bloody brilliant?”

“Are you kidding? Do you think I don't know who got Potter through the first task? Like he worked out how to use Accio all by himself. You taught him that. Am I right?”

She bit back a grin and dropped her head.

“I thought so,” he said smugly.

“You don't have to be so superior about everything you know,” she said. 

“I know.”

“This isn't some elaborate joke,” she asked.

“It’s really not.”

“Then what is this all about?”

“I think... I don't…” he stammered.

“You don't what?”

“That's the thing. I don’t know what I don't know. I know you are a Muggle born and you're brilliant and an amazing witch. Then, well, Potter is not Muggle born but he he lived with them his entire life and he’s not dumb. I know you have to be the reason he does as well as he does in classes but honestly you and he are smarter than Weasley. I mean he took to flying like I’ve never seen anyone do if they didn’t grow up doing it. It just makes me think that if you’re that smart, if it’s all that easy for you when it’s not for some of the Purebloods in our class, then maybe that whole philosophy is wrong,” he explained.

“Well when you hang around with Purebloods like Crabbe and Goyle,” she commented slyly, “almost anyone is going to look bloody brilliant.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah yeah, like Longbottom is such a brain.”

“He’s a right natural when it comes to magical plants,” Hermione protested.

“I was joking Granger,” he replied.

“Oh. Are we done insulting each other’s friends now then?”

“Aw but it’s so much fun,” he winked at her.

This time she rolled her eyes but didn’t respond merely turned back to her books.

“Did you really just want to ask why I was sitting here or did you did you have a study question?”

She looked down at her book and then up at him, “Well since you owe me anyway…”

“Yes,” Draco prompted.

“Could you explain this Arithmancy problem to me I'm just not getting it and numbers seem to really be your thing.”

“Sure,” he said and slid into the chair right next to hers pulling her parchment over to look at it and picking up his quill.

As the two teens discussed the problem in front of them the two adults turned to each other both beginning to speak at once and then both stopping. Harry gestured for Hermione to go first.

“This is all just so surreal. I see that that’s me. The work is work I did. I know I studied here. I can remember sitting here alone or with you and Ron many times in this exact spot in the library but all of this,” she waved her hand at the memory still playing out before them, “it’s all just not there. I don’t remember any of this.”

“You’re not supposed to,” Harry replied, “and none of us thought that this first memory would make you suddenly regain everything. Malfoy purposely chose this set of memories. We were all a bit afraid of what might happen if you saw one of the more negative memories, like one from the war first.”

“Just what were you afraid might happen?” she asked.

“That’s the thing. None of us were quite sure. There was some worry that if we shocked you too much you might end up… well…” he trailed off.

“With Neville’s parents and Lockhart in Mungo’s,” she finished for him.

He nodded.

“Who knows about this? You keep saying all of us.”

“Draco, Kingsley, me, Neville, and Luna,” he answered.

“Not Ron?” she raised an eyebrow, “or Ginny?”

“No,” he said, “not Ron. As for Ginny I just haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. She’s been practicing or out of the country at games since she made the Harpies.”

“So why Neville and Luna?”

“Neville was kind of an accident. He was visiting Luna when I went to talk to her. She was Draco’s suggestion. It seems she suspected about the two of you. She had made some comment to him while she was being held at the Manor during the war.”

Hermione shook her head lightly and laughed softly as if she might disturb the two teenagers in the memory who were once again studying quietly next to each other with only an occasional word passing between them, “She always was more observant that anyone gave her credit for, even me. There was a reason she was sorted into Ravenclaw after all. I haven’t spoken to her in so long. I really should reconnect with her.”

Just then Draco’s voice was in her ears once again as the scene in front of her faded away and she found herself once again standing in the small room at #13 Grimmauld Place, “This is the end of the memories for the first time. I could have sent many more of our study sessions both before and after we began to talk but I didn’t want to overwhelm you. There will be more in the future, just particular conversations we had that I think you should be reintroduced to. All of the memories I’ve chosen are ones that I feel you need to know just in case this doesn’t work and your memory never returns. Even if you should decide you no longer want me in your life you deserve to know what was taken from you, what you gave up for me, especially if you don’t want me in your life. Now I’m going to ask you to pause this for a few minutes and go with Potter.”

She looked at Harry, then looked down to the Discman and pressed pause and pushed the headphones back to rest around her neck, “What now?”

Harry gestured for her to follow him, as he led her back through the connecting door and out into the back garden of number twelve he explained, “Some of the other research Draco did turned up the idea of revisiting familiar places to help jog memory so whenever we can we’ll go to the places you just saw in the memories he shared.”

“So we’re headed to Hogwarts?”

He nodded, “McGonagall has given us permission to be on school grounds today.”

She cocked her head to the side, “So she knows too?”

He thought for a second and cringed, “Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to mention her, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said, “it’s just so frustrating knowing that everyone I know knows more about my life in the past eight years than I do.”

“I tried to talk you out of it. Kingsley tried to talk you out of it. You wouldn’t listen to us,” he reminded her.

“I believe you. Let’s just go,” she said taking hold of his arm. 

They turned on the spot together and felt the familiar pulling sensation. They landed in Hogsmeade in front of the Three Broomsticks. Harry turned to her, “Want to go in and have a butterbeer first?”

She shook her head, “No let’s go the library quickly while what I just saw is fresh.”

He nodded and they spoke not a word as they strode to Hogwarts, through the gates, through the front doors, and up the stairs into the library. She then led the way to the tables they had just seen in the Pensieve. She stood staring at the table she still thought of as hers. Harry stood back and just let her take it all in, waiting.

She walked around the table and sat down in “her” chair, running her hands over the table, closing her eyes. She sat there still for several minutes before sighing, opening her eyes, and looking at Harry, “Nothing, just nothing.”

“Did you listen to the last part of his message?” Harry asked.

“Oh I’d completely forgotten,” she put the headphones back on and pressed play.

Once more Draco’s voice rang in her ears, “I only have three words left for you my darling as you sit in this place where we spent so much time together, this place where I began to fall in love with you. Remember me Hermione.”


	5. Chapter 5

10/23/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: the first memories  
M  
We’re done. She watched the memories. We visited the library. She listened to your recording. Nothing. She’s actually back in the room watching the memories again. She says she wants to watch them without you talking in her ears, and then she’ll just listen to the recording and see if any of that does anything for her. She’s also practically ordered me to get copies of the trial transcripts for her. I’ve told her I will but I wanted to see what you think first. I can always ask Kings to give her some reason they can’t be released just yet. This is probably not the news you wanted to hear but it’s the news I have.  
P

 

10/24/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: re: the first memories  
P  
No it wasn’t the news I wanted to hear, but it was the news I expected. I honestly didn’t think she’d recover anything from those first memories, or even from the next set. I really just want to set up a good basis for the worse ones to come. There is still the worry about her going into shock. I can write to her and ask that she wait to read the transcripts until after she has seen the set of memories that most relate to them, if you think that might help convince her, though knowing her I doubt it. The Minister may be the only way to go. Or do you know anyone who is a healer whose advice she might trust? Don’t let her dwell too long in the Pensieve either I worry that won’t be good for her. Thank you again for all you’re doing for her. It seems ridiculous to thank you when you’ve been her friend longer than I but I still feel I should.  
M

 

10/27/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: re: re: the first memories (this is getting rather ridiculous)  
M  
No there is no need to thank me, but I understand why you feel the need. She has viewed the memories three times, says that’s all she’ll do. She has taken to the yoga though, that was a good idea. She devoured the book then went searching and found a tape she can play on the VCR I keep in #13. If you don’t know what those things are look it up, don’t ask me I’m not your Muggle Studies tutor. Then she went out and found a yoga studio in a nearby neighborhood and has signed up for twice weekly sessions there starting tomorrow. We can try you asking her to wait on the transcripts but if that doesn’t work then I’m going to go to Kings. She has asked me several questions, a few that only you can answer. First she wants to know how often you plan on sending memories; I think she has some ideas on the schedule herself. Second she wants your email address. She says she’d like to begin to get to know who you are now and not just who you used to be. I told her I’d ask but I wouldn’t share that without asking you first. So you tell me what you want to do. Or rather don’t bother I’ll just give you her address and you can write directly to her if you want to. I’ll tell her if she doesn’t hear from you that you’re answer must be no for now. hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
P

 

10/27/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: re: re: re: the first memories (this is getting rather ridiculous) (you can change the regarding line any time you want Potter)  
P  
I know what a VCR is thanks. Like I’d ever ask you to be my Muggle Studies tutor anyway. I had Hermione for that and damn well will again, in the meantime I can just look things up myself as you should have figured out from the fact that I have email I have discovered the world wide web. I’ll write to Hermione and talk to her about the schedule I have roughed out so you don’t have to worry about it. I still expect updates from you after each session. I’d like your opinion as a mere observer as to how things are going. I know she will tell me how she feels but she’s hardly impartial and most definitely not the best judge of things when she is hyper focused, add into that the fact that she is also highly emotional over this as I would expect, as I myself am and I need your “outsider” opinion.   
M

 

10/27/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: re: re: re: re: the first memories (this is getting rather ridiculous) (you can change the regarding line any time you want Potter) (I would but I think this might just annoy you more)  
Fine, you’ll hear from me again after the next session.

 

10/29/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: your request that we be in contact  
Hermione,  
Again I struggle with how to begin as I did that last letter I sent you. I want to begin as I have in the past with “my darling” but that simply doesn’t feel right when I know that in actuality you don’t know me though I love you as I have for years and I am sure it would make you uncomfortable. That really is not your problem so I don’t know why I share it with you other than you always wanted to know everything. You insisted I not keep secrets from you and there were times I tried very hard to do so as you will see in future memories. Perhaps I shouldn’t have even brought that up as I won’t be answering any questions about anything you will see. I suppose that is the best place to start. We can discuss the memories you have watched after each session if you wish though there will be things I won’t answer. From my research I wholeheartedly believe that slower is better. My wish is not to frustrate you but I don’t want overwhelm you either. Some questions you may have will be answered in future memories, that’s an odd statement I know. For instance I am sure you already want to ask me why I started sitting in the library to study near and then with you. I know you well enough to know that you don’t think what you saw is the whole story, rest assured the rest of the story will be in the next vial I send. For now ask me anything you want about my current situation and I will share. I am encouraged that you want to want to get to know who I am already. Quite honestly I was worried that you would be willing to forget me just for the reason that I was on the wrong side of the war and yes I do mean wrong side. No I don’t believe in Voldemort’s philosophy as you recently saw or might have infrerred from what you recently saw. Why I did what I did is a long story and it will all be explained in time. I apologize for already driving you to distraction trying to read between the lines and figure out what I’m thinking or saying but really this is the best way. Which leads me to the schedule, I have attempted to set out a two week memory viewing schedule, working around the holidays that is. Also Potter mentioned that you wanted to read the transcripts for my trial. While I understand you desire I think you should wait until you’ve seen some of the memories that were covered in the trial. I’m asking you to please wait and be patient as hard that that may be. Now as you would like to get to know me ask away, I will be awaiting your reply.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

10/30/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: my first questions for you  
Draco,  
Thank you for being considerate and not opening your message as you wanted to. You were absolutely correct it would make me uncomfortable and that then would make me feel guilty. Even knowing you wanted to begin that way I feel a bit guilty; it is after all my own fault. Hopefully in time that will change. After reading the letters we wrote to one another after your sentencing I can see clearly that you loved me and that I loved you which makes it all the more frustrating. Not only did you, do you love me rather, but you clearly know me very well. The yoga suggestion was wonderful. I am enjoying it already and find that I am more focused after I do it whether that is due to the focusing nature of yoga or simply that it is exercise and gets my blood flowing I don’t know but I certainly enjoy it more than any other exercise I have tried. I may have told you this in the past but as I don’t remember I will tell you again, back in primary school we were required to participate in physical education. That was one of the things I missed the least when I started at Hogwarts. Flying lessons are simply not the same as being forced to run, swing things at balls, throw and attempt to catch balls, dodgeballs. I was much happier just sitting under a tree and reading. That comes as no surprise whatsoever to you I am sure. 

I agree with the schedule you have set at the moment. I believe there may come a time where we need to speed up or even slow down but we can discuss that when we get there. Harry was quite shocked that I didn’t push right away to see the next memories you had sent. Then of course when I asked about them he told me you had waited to send them. Obviously you had a feeling I would be asking to see them early, rather shrewd move there, guess that’s why you’re a Slytherin. 

I have also considered what you said about the transcript and for now I’ll wait to read them.

Your ground rules that we only discuss present day and the memories I’ve seen seem fair, though I will most definitely chafe against them at some point.

To start let me ask you a few questions:  
What made you choose New Orleans? Rather what made you choose first the States and then New Orleans? Why not Canada? Australia? Japan? South Africa? or any number of other places?  
What are you doing there in New Orleans? Did you finish school at Hogwarts? I suppose that could be something you’re going to show me in memories so don’t feel you have to answer or answer in detail anyway. Did you take your N.E.W.T.S.?   
Harry says you have adapted several Muggle customs (or NoMaj as they say across the pond)? Which were you most surprised by? Which do you enjoy the most? Which do you find the most strange and or frustrating?

I think that is all for now.  
Hermione

 

10/31/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: answers to your questions

To make this easier I’m going to just copy and paste your questions then answer right below because I am quickly discovering the chain of old messages that appears in emails is unnecessarily distracting so I tend to delete them all.

1\. What made you choose New Orleans? Rather what made you choose first the States and then New Orleans? Why not Canada? Australia? Japan? South Africa? or any number of other places?  
I first thought I would go to France to one of the old Black family chateaus but then I would be too close to you without being able to see you. Knowing the Ministry they would keep you from coming to see me and it would just be all the harder if you were that close. I sat with a map of the world and looked over several countries. I talked it over with Mother. She was the one that suggested New Orleans. Her family had visited here when she was younger and she had fond memories of the place. Once I arrived I knew why, the French feel to so much of the architecture and design of the city probably made her feel very much at home; it did for me.

2\. What are you doing there in New Orleans? Did you finish school at Hogwarts? Did you take your N.E.W.T.S.?  
I’ll start in reverse. I did take my N.E.W.T.S. and did surprisingly well considering my last year at Hogwarts was the last year of the war. During the year following the war I did home study. the professors sent me memories of their lectures and I owled in all the essays and tests and took the final exams at the same time you did, someone from the Ministry came to over see my testing to be sure I didn’t cheat.

3\. Harry says you have adapted several Muggle customs (or NoMaj as they say across the pond)? Which were you most surprised by? Which do you enjoy the most? Which do you find the most strange and or frustrating?  
It took me a bit to adapt to some of the NoMaj customs and devices and I’m sure some of them are different than back home in the UK. I don’t know about the individual vehicles they seem a bit much to handle especially in a busy city. However there is a great trolley system here, and buses, though really I only need to walk to get anywhere I need to go. I am working in a Potioneer’s shop as a potion apprentice, my N.E.W.T.S. were good enough for me to easily find a job here I just had to find someone who would be willing to overlook the reason I’m here to begin with. I’ll be a potions master by the summer, what I do then well, that’s a long way off.

Which Muggle thing do I enjoy the most, this right here, the internet is an amazing invention. I have learned so much about the world that I never knew. It’s left me with more questions about how any witch or wizard could ever think that Muggles are beneath us. We could learn so much from them. You had told me about the moon landings and I just found it beyond belief but the pictures seem to be undeniable proof. There is just one story after another from the men themselves and all of the men and women who supported them. I don’t know how there are even Muggles who believe it wasn't real. Did you know that the space agencies all over the world are building a space station, a place in orbit around the Earth for people to live and work? They started on it last year. You probably do know all that but I just find it fascinating.

Movies would have to be the other thing I’ve decided are a wonderful NoMaj invention. The potion master I work with and the others that work in her shop are all much more used to NoMaj culture. I thought at first that that must be the way things are here in the States but they tell me that it really is just unique to New Orleans and to small areas elsewhere but that most of the country is just like the UK where the two societies are very removed from one another, in the same place but rarely interacting. Anyway they were the ones who first introduced me to movies. They took me to a small theater that showed movies that are almost at the end of the their run so they’re much less expensive and often less busy so I would be less conspicuous. Anyway they took me to see Muppets from Space, they said it was a perfect first movie as it was the Muppets, which I found quite amusing, and many popular actors. After the movie they said it wasn’t the best Muppet movie ever and insisted we have a movie night at someone’s place to watch the original. Three of the four of us live in NoMaj housing. Watching in the theater was engaging, watching in a home was a raucous affair. Not long ago we had another movie night to watch Great Muppet Caper. Not sure why but they seem to feel Muppets is key to my understanding of NoMaj entertainment, culture, life, something like that. These were the friends I went to and asked about email when Potter mentioned it. He may have told you that my flat here was quite sparse when he visited me, well no longer. I now have a desk with a computer and home phone for internet connection. I also have a small entertainment center, tv, and vcr. I have discovered that I can rent movies from a shop just down the street. Which leads me to my first question for you. What is your favorite movie? My second question that I realize now I never asked and I don’t know how that happened: what is your favorite book? or if it’s easier: who is your favorite author? And since three seems a good number: how is your job at the Ministry? What do you do? Who do you work with? Do you enjoy it?  
Always yours,  
Draco  
P.S. Happy Halloween

 

11/1/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: your three questions  
Draco,  
I wondered what had happened to our previous messages. Unlike you I tend to leave them there as it makes for easy reference but as I keep all messages I suppose I can simply look back. I find it amazing that someone raised in a home that was so centered on Pureblood supremacy as your younger self said in the memories you sent would adapt so easily to life in a near Muggle state. That says quite a bit about you as a person, or at least about who you are now. It makes it easier for me to see how I could have fallen for you in the first place. Now to answer your questions

What is my favorite movie? It is so hard to pick. I always loved watching Disney movies with my parents when I was younger. I have seen them all. My father is also a big fan, more so than my mother. He is the one that has purchased each movie as it has been released on VHS. My favorite classic movie is Sleeping Beauty. I love the tale but my favorite character has always been Maleficent. I also have a special place in my heart for Sword in the Stone. You should watch that one if you can. You just might be surprised at who appears in it. As for the more modern ones well Little Mermaid was the first I saw on the big screen and naturally I love Belle in Beauty and the Beast I just identify with her love of books and learning. As for live action movies I shall have to think about it. I now have to admit I have never seen a Muppets movie. I guess I’ll be hopping down to our local video store so that Harry and I can watch them. I’ll let you know what I think.

Favorite book or author: oh my, I don’t even know where to begin I’ve read so many books since I was little. I reread books nearly endlessly that’s how I have so many memorized and yet even when I’ve memorized them I still go back to read them again and again. I think my favorites though are all books for kids or young adults. If you are asking in the interest of creating a reading list for yourself I’d suggest Madeleine L’Engle’s books, Peter Pan, the Prydain Chronicles. Books based in WWII used to be some of those I found most interesting but after recent experiences I’ve moved away from them. Since you’re so interested in space or at least the space program you might look for books on the topic. I enjoy nonfiction but I prefer fiction books. I like books that will take me away for a while, help me escape into a different world. Matilda did that for me when I was seven or eight, it took me to a world where magic was real. I suppose I identified with her accidental magic without realizing it. I do read adult fiction but the books that stick out most in my mind are ones that are marketed for young adults, I think because they seem to be more story based and less relationship based. I’m just not into romance novels. Ok that’s not totally true I don’t dislike romance but I prefer it be part of a natural story and not the typical girl falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with girl, boy panics about the relationship and takes off/breaks her heart, girl cries to friends, boy comes back to apologize and all is well. Stories that take different tracks appeal to me more. I also really like books that are parts of series where you get to keep track of others in the town, you get updates on their families, you see more family and town dynamics at work if that makes sense. I think that may be why I like the YA books I listed too, they’re part of series/worlds.

The Ministry is well the Ministry. I work in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I had these grand plans of working to make life better for house elves and other magical creatures but it’s just not what I expected. You would think I would have known better considering all of the experiences I’ve had with them over the years, this situation notwithstanding. I don’t know. I feel as if no one is really listening. It’s all just paperwork and red tape. Nothing gets done easily, anywhere if what Harry and Ron tell me is true and while Ron may exaggerate Harry is less likely to do so. Neville even left the Auror program because he said it wasn’t what he expected. I understand that certain steps have to be taken to prove someone is guilty or to make a change but it just takes too long. There are too many steps. There are too many people who don’t want anything to change. They want things to be the way they always have; they see no reason to change the way things have always been done. I know Kingsley is willing to change but there’s still such an old guard in place. It will take years if not decades for people our age to take over and for change to take hold. I’m not sure I have it in me to stick around that long, but I also have no idea of what else I might do with my life.   
Well that was much more than I expected I would write. I suppose it’s my turn for questions again. I think I’ll stick with simple: What is your favorite book? What is your favorite movie? What is your favorite kind of music? Well I look forward to hearing your answers.  
Hermione

 

11/1/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: my turn again  
I’ve had Terrence, that would be my fellow potions apprentice, introduce me to the local public library. Another thing Muggles seem to have one up on we magic kind. Why did we only have a library at Hogwarts. Oh I’m sure the Ministry has a library, and I’d imagine Mungo’s has one too as a reference for the healers but there are none for your average ordinary witch or wizard to borrow books from. We have to buy our books and what if the book we bought turns out not to be the one we need. Sure there are resale shops but it seems to make much more sense to borrow a book first and see if you like it, will use it, need it before buying. Anyway all that was to tell you I checked out books by some of the authors you mentioned.

My favorite book, that’s easy as I have I only ever read one fiction book, the same book Mother used to read me when I was little - the Tales of Beedle the Bard. We didn’t have any other books like that in the Manor library, well none at least that I was allowed to read. Most of the books we had were old textbooks, potion books, and well books on Dark Magic. As for nonfiction books my favorite would probably have to be the book that came with my very first potions kit, Potions for Young Witches and Wizards. I am also quite fond of poetry, particularly sonnets.

My favorite movie - I’ve only just begun watching movies so it’s a bit early to pick a favorite but I’m finding I enjoy the older movies, the old black and white ones. I picked up Sleeping Beauty and really enjoyed it. I  
I’m with you I liked Maleficent much better than those three fairies, but I suppose that makes sense. I think she would have been a Slytherin where the other fairies would probably be Puffs. I wasn’t able to find Sword in the Stone however. The video shop clerk said he’d see if they had a copy at another location. 

My favorite kind of music - well it’s not Celestina Warbeck that’s for sure, I do enjoy the Weird Sisters. Growing up my parents listened to mostly classical music, I find myself still drawn to it as well as to light jazz. There is a lot of jazz here, drifting out of doorways as you walk down the street. I really haven’t started listening to any other types of NoMaj music but I suppose I should give it a try.

My turn again, I suppose: Are you continuing to enjoy yoga? Have you done any research into restoring memory loss yourself? Have you looked into how magical creatures are dealt with in other countries? I ask the last because when I mentioned house elves here just in passing I was looked at as if I had grown a second head. It seems they are incredibly uncommon here in the States. It has something to do with their Civil War I think was what I was told but as three people were speaking at once it was hard to make out and I really just desperately wanted to change the subject.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/4/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: sorry   
Draco,

I apologize for taking so long to reply, but it’s your own fault I have to say. I did as you suggested and have begun research into the treatment and regulation of magical creatures in other countries. It’s been enlightening to say the least to see that some countries don’t classify goblins or elves as creatures and they even treat werewolves differently as well. It’s absolutely fascinating but it will take quite a bit more research to develop a case to change the way things are handled here in the UK. The research has also been a good distraction from my obliviated memories. I have looked into that as well but came up with the same things you had so I stopped. You apparently did a very thorough search. That shouldn’t come as a surprise since we were apparently always one and two in our year, no I didn’t remember that other than from the memory you shared, I just never think anyone studies and researches as much as I do. Yoga has become my stress reliever after dealing with the knotheads in the Ministry all day. Ginny tried it with me when she was home over the weekend and Luna is joining me at the studio not far from here. She really is an interesting person and not nearly so daft as people think you just have to get used to her. I have more questions for you but I think I’ll save them until after I view the memories this weekend. Harry brought the package home this afternoon but won’t let me open it until Saturday; I don’t think he trusts me. That’s all for now I guess. I’ll write to you sometime next week.

Hermione


	6. Chapter 6

11/6/99

Hermione,

I didn’t want to overwhelm you with too much the first time so I left these memories out. We studied together quite a bit. These are just a few more of the many but they were conversations that I thought you should see or might enjoy. It was never easy to get you to talk about anything but our classes when we first began really studying together. I had to get to know you better to know what topics I could bring up that would get you off topic and sometimes the conversations were accidental. Either way it was that last few months of fourth year when we became friends which amazed me. It was at that same time that I began to fall for you more and more each day. I never thought it would move beyond friendship but I guess I got lucky. The Hogwarts library was a refuge for me, for us really for two years. It was a place we could be together and not be seen or if we were it could be explained away as we were in the same classes. That library will always be a place I think of fondly.

There are three memories in the vial this time. I had thought about sending something with stronger emotion to see if it triggered anything in you but maybe I’m just not ready for that so here are a few benign conversations and one more serious one. This time I’ll let them speak for themselves other than to say  
Remember me Hermione  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

She was sitting cross legged on the yoga mat near the wall. Harry stood in the doorway waiting for her to invite him in as this had become as much her private space as her bedroom in number twelve. She looked up at him after reading and nodded. He met her at the table where she placed the parchment, and waited while she picked up the vial at eye level studying it before pulling out the cork and pouring them into the Pensieve. He said the spell over her, they joined hands, and once again fell into the past.

The mists swirled around them and they landed on the second floor of the library in a back corner with only one table near a set of books so old and dusty it looked as if no one had touched them since they were first place on the shelves. At the lone table sat the young bushy haired girl, though the hair was somewhat restrained in a braid. Immediately to her right sat the blond boy. They faced out into the stacks that led to the main area of the library each occasionally looking up from parchment or book as if they had heard someone approaching. While the adults watched Draco began to pull things out of his satchel, dropping them on the table as he went. Young Hermione just sat and watched as the pile grew: an extra quill, sugar quills, bottles of ink in various colors, a button, bits and pieces of parchment, chocolate frog cards. Her eyes grew wide she reached into the pile and extracted the button.

“I should have known you’d have one of these,” she complained waving it in his face.

He pulled back to see more clearly what she was holding, “Have one?” he laughed, “who do you think made them?”

“You?” she asked incredulously then nearly yelled, “You did this?”

“Shh,” he said, looking around to see if they had drawn any attention, “really when it flashed to Potter Stinks you didn’t figure out that it was me? I thought you were smarter than that.”

She humphed at that and crossed her arms defensively, “I knew you had to to have had something to do with it. You were much too smug about it.”

“Yes, well it was childish I know,” he admitted looking a bit sheepish.

“But you loved it,” she charged.

He nodded feeling no need to be anything but honest, “That was before the tournament actually began.”

“Before Cedric told everyone to knock it off.”

“Well that and after the first task. Aggravating as it was even I had to admire the way he handled that damned dragon,” he whispered.

She peered at him from the corner of her eye as she watched the button change, “I thought you said you knew it was me that helped him with that.

“I did,” he replied, “but the way he handled the broom, that was all him. It’s amazing and infuriating how well he flies. I’d like to beat him the damn Snitch just once.”

“You still have three years to do it. It might happen,” she said generously.

“You don’t really believe that,” he said.

She shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. I really don’t pay as much attention to Quidditch as everyone else seems to.”

He looked insulted, “How can you not like Quidditch?”

Again she shrugged, “Not everyone likes everything. I never cared much for any Muggle sports either.”

“You’ll have to tell me about Muggle sports sometime,” he suggested.

“As if you’d really be interested,” she scoffed.

It was his turn to shrug, “I might. I like Quidditch but not Gobstones and if what I hear is right there are many more Muggle sports.:

She didn’t say anything just looked at the button and back to him again, “This was just jealousy wasn’t it?”

He cringed but nodded, “Mostly, more than anything else. It’s not that I wanted to enter. I know better than that. For all my talk I was relieved that they set a minimum age. Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

She cocked her head to one side, “And who would I tell? This really was childish.”

“I said that already,” he reminded her.

“Don’t snap at me when you’re the one that acted like a brat,” she admonished him.

“Fine,” he sighed rolling his eyes.

Neither of them said anything as he began collecting his things and putting them back into his bag. She sat looking at the button, moving it back and forth in her hand. He put out a hand to take it from her and put it away again. She placed it in his hand and said, “It is a pretty clever piece of charms work.”

He turned his head slowly to look at her, “You mean that?”

“Yes,” she giggled, “it was even funnier as people in the house tried to make it say something else. You had to have planned for that eventuality.”

His cheeks flushed pink at her praise, “I knew someone would try. I kind of hoped it would be Weasley.”

Her lips twisted, “You had something special for him if he did?”

“I might have.”

“What would it say?” she asked.

He grinned at her, “How badly do you want to know?”

She looked at him suspiciously, “Why? I won’t do anything illegal or against the rules you know.”

“Like you haven’t broken any rules? How again did we end up in detention together in the Forbidden Forest first year?”

“You being a right prat.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah and you being out of your dorm after curfew.”

“With good reason,” she insisted.

“So you will break the rules,” he pointed out.

“But not to find out something this silly.”

“Then I guess you’ll never know, unless you can con the weasel into trying to change it,” he laughed.

“Don’t call him that!” she snapped.

He held up both hands in front of him, “Ok, I won’t.”

“Just like that?” she asked suspicion again shining on her face.

“Just like that,” he replied.

“I don’t understand,” she said.

“You asked,” he answered as if it was obvious.

“I still don’t understand but I’ll accept it.”

“So,” he cocked his head to one side, “are you going to make him try it?”

She laughed, “No. I think I can live without knowing.”

He shook his head and laughed with her. 

“You know,” she said, “If you’d put the amount of time into your schoolwork that you did making this thing, you would be top of the year.”

He shook his head, “Didn’t take me that long, besides I think it would take more than that to be better than you.”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“I really do.”

She sat and stared at him for a moment, “It’s almost time for dinner we should go.”

He nodded, stood, picked up his satchel, put it over his shoulder, and said, “Same time tomorrow?”

When he saw her nod he turned and walked away.

Mists swirled around them and the scene changed just slightly. The stacks of books on the table grew on either side of them, the rolls of parchment were longer, quills and empty ink bottles strewn among the rest. Both huddled over the table writing furiously, one or the other occasionally muttering to themselves or frantically grabbing a book and flipping through the pages. This carried on for a few moments before Draco dropped his quill, sat back, stretched, and said “Done.”

She sighed, “How do you do that?”

“You have to remember I’ve been writing with a quill since I could write, and with Lucius looking over my shoulder to make sure I did it well and quickly. It was good motivation.”

“Motivation? Interesting word choice,” she rolled her eyes and turned back to her essay to finish the last few lines.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs, feet on the edge of the table, hands behind his head, “Are you done yet? I think it’s time we take a little break.”

“We don’t have time for a break we have three more essays to write. I’ve done all the research for each I just need to write them but I barely have time to get it all done,” she ran a hand over her hair, feeling the pieces that had escaped from her braid she took just a moment to let it all down and just pulled it back in the hair band.

He dropped his feet to the floor and sat forward, “Speaking of time-”

“Which we don’t have enough of,” she interrupted.

He began again, “Speaking of time, there’s something I’ve been wondering for awhile now.”

“Well keep wondering,” she said, “I have to work and so do you.”

He pulled the quill from her hand and slid the parchment she had been about to write on out of her reach along with the others nearby, “That stack of books there to your left was bigger last year wasn’t it.”

“What?” she asked as she reached for both her quill and parchment, then giving up on getting them back and not bothering with the rest on the table, she rustled in her bag for replacements of each.

“You took more classes last year than this year right? I know you were in all of my classes. Everyone in school heard about you taking Divination but you also took Muggle Studies too didn’t you?” 

The question stopped her digging and had her looking at him, “How do you know that?”

“Granger, what do you think I was stalking you?” he scoffed.

“No just Harry and I usually happened to be with him,” she retorted with a grin.

“Oh you’re amusing, less than you think. but you’re amusing,” he replied winking at her.

“Same to you Malfoy,” she smirked.

“Seriously Hermione, you should know almost nothing is a secret in this school. Students talk, ghosts talk, portraits talk, hell I’m sure even the professors talk. Word gets around. Never did understand why you, a Muggle born, would take Muggle studies though, you’re not the type to take a class just for an easy O. So why take it? And how in the bloody hell did you take all of those classes. Some of them are scheduled at the same time. Did you never sleep last year? Did you do a separate study alone with the teachers? You didn’t take the classes with other houses that would have gotten around. So how?”

She sat back in her chair, “Why? You wanna try out whatever it was I did?”

He laughed harshly, “Not likely, I’m just hoping that’s one thing my father won’t hear about or he’ll make me do it. Anything to maintain the family honor,” he rolled his eyes.

“I thought your family’s honor meant something to you,” she commented.

“It does but not when it comes to grades. I’m not failing. I’m not even an average student. The only one beating me is you and that only matters to Lucius. Who else even knows or cares? I’m not even sure how he knows but he does.Come on we both need a break let's get away from the library, or at least go somewhere else in the library.

She hesitated, “Three essays,” she insisted.

“You'll get them done,” he said, “And knowing you probably with time to spare.”

She sighed, “but there's not enough time already. There's never enough time!”

“That’s it! You need a break. Stress just makes it seem as if there’s less time than there actually is. Come on,” he said as he pulled out his wand and aimed it at the table sending books and parchment flying into satchels

Her eyes opened wide, “Did you just do that non-verbally?”

He cocked his head to one side, “Yes I did it non-verbally. You have to have tried it. You can’t convince me you haven’t.”

“Of course I've tried it,” she replied.

One eyebrow raised, he looked at her not saying a word but the question was clear on his face.

She shook her head, “Fine yes, I've done it; and yes it worked. I don't understand why they make us wait until sixth year to learn it. Once you know the theory behind the spell and the motions it’s not that hard. It’s also obvious even to any Muggle raised witch or wizard that not every spell can be said aloud. What would be the point? And it becomes even more obvious when you spend any amount of time in the home of a magical family.”

He stood and walked away from the table gesturing for her to follow all the while. “They just want to be sure that everyone can do it verbally first. I don't think they think about the fact that some of us are better than others and that we should be able to move faster in the area that we're better in. Some of us should be given more challenges and some of us need things slowed down. I know we all get split up after the OWLS next year but that’s not the same thing. Why shouldn’t we be able to spend more time developing the skills we’re good at. Or maybe less time on those and more on the basics we struggle with. I mean even Longbottom is better at something. He does really well with plants. Someone has to be or those of us good at potions would really have trouble getting them made.”

She followed him wondering just where they were going. 

Adult Hermione and Harry followed the the teenagers also wondering where they were going.

 

Young Hermione spoke again, “You actually know that Neville’s good with plants?” the shock was clear in her voice, she had clearly forgotten that she herself had told him that not that long ago..

Draco stopped in front of an alcove with a large window out over the grounds, a curtain in front, and worn old sofa, “Here,” he said.

She looked around. They were still out of the main area of the library. There weren’t any other people around. Yet to her this area seemed much more exposed than their table back in the corner, “Are you sure?” she asked.

“Here,” he pulled her over to the sofa, “Just come in here.”

The curtain shut leaving them out of sight, “I'll just use a temporary sticking charm and silencing so no one can hear us,” he said. 

Adult Hermione wondered what would have happened if Harry had chosen this moment to try and find her on the map. She could see that thought cross the face of her younger self was sure she could almost hear the girl's thoughts in her own head. If he saw her sitting with Malfoy he would surely come running, bringing Ron along with him. Yelling and causing a fight. No, that wouldn’t do. Her grades were even better now from studying with Draco than they had been previously, something no one had thought possible. There had to be some way to prevent it. There had to be some way to hide from the map. Some charm she could cast on themselves or a room or maybe even just this are. The Marauders weren’t geniuses, at least not all four of them. Remus was clearly incredibly bright and James was no slouch nor was Sirius. Peter? Well who knew. Still would they have ever thought of someone trying to hide from the map. She would guess not or Pettigrew would have used it the year before. Of course he had no way of knowing the map was still around, still being used by students, not to mention what living years as a rat could have done to his brain. Sirius did seem to have dog-like tendencies that showed themselves in the short amount of time they’d spent together. It was definitely something she would have to think about. She was lucky that this year Harry was so preoccupied by the Tournament that he hadn’t been watching the map. Should she tell Draco about the map? He could help her come up with a way to hide them. Between the two of them they certainly could outwit the Marauders right? But what would he do if he knew? Was there a way to tell him without telling him? Could she get him without telling him why? Was there some other excuse she could give? She watched the young girl worry at her lip as all of the thoughts rolled through her mind.

“Knutt for your thoughts,” he said watching her intently.

She shook her head, “Just thinking that I should be writing an essay instead of sitting here doing nothing.

He rolled his eyes, “Really you have to learn to relax. Besides, you owe me a story. Tell me how you attended all of those classes last year. That one part of the story somehow never made the rounds of gossip.”

She turned again and gazed out the window at the familiar landscape. Students sitting by the lake trying to get the mermaids to come to the surface and talk, a team practicing in the air off in the distance, off to the side she spotted the Whomping Willow and the events of the previous year replayed in her head. Again the adult Hermione could hear the younger girls thoughts in her head. What would she tell him? How much? She couldn’t say anything about Sirius obviously but what could she tell him? If he knew about the time turner would he suspect the she had somehow set Sirius free. Would he tell anyone? She chewed her lip again. 

 

He let his gaze follow hers out the window but seeing nothing of interest turned back and instead watched her, watched her mind work.

 

“Need I say it again? Knutt for your thoughts or perhaps you’d prefer a sickle? Whatever it will take to get you to talk,” a silver Sickle was now dancing it’s way across his knuckles from pointer to pinky and back again.

She turned back and looked at him consideringly, then outside again, and finally spoke, “It was McGonagall really.”

“McGonagall?” he leaned back against the arm of the couch and waited.

“The first day back last year, well really the first night,” she said, “as soon as the feast was done she called me to her office. She had noticed as she was preparing schedules that I had signed up for almost every possible class. She asked me how I thought I would manage schedule and told me she knew I was capable of all of the work that getting to each class was going to be an issue. She wanted to know if I had a plan for how to get the information if I wasn’t able to attend class. I told her I didn't know I didn't actually expect to be assigned all of the classes. She reached into her drawer and pulled something out. At the time I didn't know what it was. She had gone to Dumbledore and talked to him about my schedule and my wish to take so many classes. Together they had gone to the ministry and explained my level of responsibility..” she paused unsure if she should continue.

He watched her through half closed eyes. She could see his mind at work. A slow smile spread across his face, “Time Turner,” he muttered at first, “a time turner, why didn't I think of that before?”

She nodded. “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t come up with it before. I wouldn't have but I didn’t even know they existed. It’s not like we have things like that in the Muggle world; no matter how often people wish they had something similar.”

He shook his head, “No I would never have thought of that. They can be dangerous after all.”

“I would think that's exactly why you would think of it,” she remarked.

“Don't you know by now Slytherins don't take unnecessary risks. Dangerous isn't something we take lightly. Seems to be more you Gryffindors. Acting without thinking first is more your speed. We like to think things through a little bit more look at all sides of an issue, determine if the danger is justified then act or not. Impulsivity seems to be a Gryff trait as much as courage and bravery.

She shook her head, “I think you're thinking of Harry,” she said, “not all Gryffindors are like that.”

He raised one eyebrow again and commented, “Oh that’s right. You’ve never done anything impetuous right? Let me think saving a dragon, fighting a three-headed dog, wandering the castle at night after hours, petrifying a housemate, chasing off after a troll,” he ticked each item off on his fingers as he listed them, “and that was just first year.”

“I didn’t go after that troll,” she replied indignantly.

He leaned forward, “Do tell me more.”

She looked out the window. Maybe this story would distract him from the Time Turner; if nothing else it was worth a shot.

“Ron had said something awful about me after class without realizing I was right behind him,” she said.

“Something he no doubt would have said even if he had known,” Draco interjected.

“Possibly,” she said unwilling to fight about it, “anyway I ran off to the girls room to cry not a very mature thing to do I know.”

“You were eleven,” he replied, “everyone is allowed to react emotionally at eleven or should be allowed to anytime really. I don’t know anyone without emotions or anyone incapable of showing emotions. Some people are better at hiding them than others. Some are better had hiding certain emotions. There are those who feel it is unbecoming to let anyone know they are human and react like anyone else. Merlin forbid we be just like anyone else. What a curse to be ordinary.”

She watching him quietly a moment glad he had cast the silencing spell on their little alcove as without it his raised voice would surely have brought someone running to see what was wrong. His ducked chin and flushed cheeks told her he wouldn’t want to talk about what he had just said so she went on, “Anyway, I spent the evening crying in the loo. As I didn’t go to the feast I didn’t actually know about the troll at least not until it was locked in with me.”

He held up a hand, “No no, let me guess… Potter and Weasley right?”

She merely looked at him in reply and he nearly fell off the couch laughing.

“It's not that funny,’ she insisted.

“And...you were...still friends...you still talk… you like them?” he could barely breathe.

Whipping out her wand she sent a first silencing spell followed quickly by a stinging jinx in his direction. He grabbed his rear where the jinx had hit tears rolled from his eyes as he laughed silently on the other end of couch. She looked back out the window watching classmates for at least good solid minute before he touched her arm. He looked pleadingly at her when she turned to face him once again and gestured to his mouth. She considered a moment longer before waving her wand once again.

“I'm sorry,” he said quietly.

“No,” she replied. “I really can’t blame you; it is funny now. It just wasn’t funny then. It was terrifying.”

“I can’t even imagine. What kind of troll was it?”

“A mountain troll, I was in the bathroom finally calming down and planning on sneaking back to the dorm before everyone was done with the feast. I came out of a stall and there it was. It was huge and ugly and it reeked of I don’t even know what. It saw me and began to lurch towards me knocking the sinks off the wall with this giant club. I was frozen when the door opened and in rushed Harry and Ron.”

“At least they came back to rescue you after they trapped you together,” he fought back another laugh, “How did those two manage to stop it, or was it you after all?”

“I never even got a chance,” she responded, “they came in wands blazing-”

“Wands blazing? What does that even mean? What kind of spell did they know first year that would make their wands blaze?” he asked eagerly.

“Sorry, it’s a variation of a Muggle metaphor. It means they came in fighting.”

“Ah ha, Muggles have some funny sayings, what word would you use in place of wands?”

“Um guns,” she answered, “You usually say guns blazing.”

“Wands seems to make more sense. They can actually look like they’re blazing, guns on the other hand...” he trailed off.

“You know what a gun is?” her eyes were wide.

“There have been wizards who have used them in the past though not as frequently as swords or wands. Takes too much time to load is the lesson learned from the few times you can find stories about them being used in battles or duels. They’re loud and a good nonverbal spell is always a better alternative unless you’re an excellent shot on the first shot every time.. Anyway we’re off topic. How did Potter and Weasley defeat a troll?”

She laughed, “It was really almost accidental.”

“That does not surprise me,” he cut in.

“So you want to hear the story or not?” she complained when he nodded she demanded, “then keep your mouth shut.”

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted her with his wand.

She rolled her eye and continued telling him about the pipe throwing, jumping on its back, wand up its nose, and finally the floating club. By the time she finished talking they were both laughing so hard they had tears rolling down their cheeks.

“Potter really has more luck than any other person in history.” Draco remarked, “with Weasley coming in a close second. Sometimes I think if they didn’t have you they wouldn’t have lived through first year much less the next two.”

“It’s possible,’ she replied, “we’ve been here awhile you know, we should probably get back to work.”

He looked at her wryly, “You just don’t want to tell me about the Time Turner.”

She huffed more from being so easily read than for any other reason, “there’s nothing to it. I went to one class, then turned it once to go back an hour and went to the next class. That’s really all there is to it,’ she tried not to sound defensive and raise his suspicions.

“You never tried anything else with it?” he asked.

She clenched her jaw not wanting to outright lie but he continued “I know you’re mostly a rule follower but you never used it to give you more time to do your work. You’re so worried now about getting those essays done you didn’t use it just to give yourself a little more time for that then?”

“I may have, once or twice,” she admitted, keeping her relief to herself, “but Professor McGonagall had gone out on a limb for me to help me and I didn’t want to take advantage and as she had spoken for me it would put her reputation on the line. I wouldn’t risk that.”

He nodded, “I can see that. She is one of the best professors here even if she is the Head of Gryffindor. I wouldn’t want to do anything to make Severus look bad; it’s one reason I help Crabbe and Goyle so much in potions. Life will be simpler in that class when those two can’t take it anymore and that’s still a year off.”

“Why don’t you get someone else to help them? Blaise and Theo are both good at potions as well aren’t they?” she asked.

“We each take them on for a class. Even Pansy helps them out in charms. We look out for one another as all housemates do. But I’m the best at potions and since that’s Severus’s class I work with them. It wouldn’t do for anyone in his house to fail his class but he has to at least show they have some proficiency at potions. He won’t pass us if we don’t deserve to, and he may not take points away or publicly assign detentions to his house members but he will do it in private.”

“So what happens in Slytherin stays in Slytherin is what you’re saying,” she commented.

He nodded, “Much like Ravenclaw. You almost never hear about anything they do wrong either and it’s not that Flitwick doesn’t punish his students he’s just quieter about it unlike Sprout or McGonagall.”

“And you think that’s a better way to handle it?” she asked.

“Not necessarily,” he replied, “Sev means well but everyone already hates us and that just adds fuel to the fire. I respect that the other two won’t hesitate to take points or assign detentions to their own students in front of everyone. It shows that they are truly fair minded when it comes to students. Makes it easier to relax and work in their classes.”

“You keep calling Snape by his first name, why do you do that?”

“I don’t even realize I do it most of the time. In class I have to think carefully if I’m going to call him by name. He’s been around the manor since I was a baby. He and my father are, well I guess you could call them friends. They’ve known each other since their own time here. He’s been teaching me potions since I was seven or eight,” he looked out the window, “you’re right we have been sitting here a while. It’s getting dark, we should go.”

She cast a quick Tempus charm, “An hour? Ugh, Malfoy if I’m late on any of my essays because of you I’m so hexing you the first chance I get.”

“You can try,” he smirked as he waved his wand to release the curtain and drop the silencing spell from the alcove, “you know we could probably fit a small table in here and just study right here. It would be more comfortable than those blasted wooden chairs. I work better when I’m comfortable, and it would be less likely for us to be spotted together.”

She frowned at the suggestion, “You obviously wouldn’t want to be seen studying with me maybe instead of hiding we should just stop meeting altogether.”

He put a hand on her shoulder as she turned to stalk away, “I was thinking more of Potter and Weasley than my house mates or anyone else. I can explain it away as wanting to see how you study or that I’m trying to trip you up so that I can pass you in class. People will believe that about me in a second. Even Father would praise me for my sneakiness. You on the other hand, after the way I’ve treated you in the past no one would believe that you would voluntarily study with me.”

“No they wouldn’t,” she admitted.

“I’ve never apologized,” he said quietly, “and I should have, especially for…’ his voice trailed off.

“I know what for,” she responded, “you don’t have to finish that sentence.”

“But I should actually say it,” he insisted, “I really am sorry.”

She bobbed her head once in reply but didn’t look back at him, “so here same time tomorrow?”

“Yes.”


	7. Chapter 7

Once again the mists swirled around the two adults and when they settled they still standing in the alcove. It seemed even tighter than before. A low narrow table sat in front of the couch now piled with all of the detritus that had once sat on their table in the corner. Young Hermione sat curled up in the left hand corner of the couch with a book open reading silently though occasionally her mouth moved along with the words. Draco sat on the right hand side, stretched out with his feet resting on his stack of books on the table, he had somehow spelled his parchment to stay stiff as he was writing on it. As they watched young Hermione stretched, moved her feet to the floor, and set her book aside turning to look out the window.

“Break time?” he asked.

“Just for a few minutes,” she replied, pulling bags of crisps and biscuits out of her bag along with a thermos.

“Snacks?” his eyes lit up, “Please oh please say you’re sharing with me.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know.” she teased, “maybe I ought to make you pay for them.”

“I will,” he said, “I’m starving, lunch was atrocious.”

“I wouldn’t actually make you pay you loon,” she laughed, “here have a chocolate biscuit.”

He took the cookie eagerly, “Granger you are a goddess.”

“Careful there Malfoy, say things like that and I’ll expect you to worship me.”

“Well if you’re going to keep bringing me chocolate biscuits I just might. What is that?” he asked pointing at the thermos.

She held it up, “This is a Muggle invention, keeps liquids hot or cold, whichever you wish, without the aid of any spells.”

“But how does it know which?” he asked.

She giggled, “It doesn’t need to know. It’s an insulated cup. It just keeps the liquid at or near whatever temperature it starts at. This one happens to be cold now because it has milk in it.”

“Milk, to go with the biscuits. No you are most definitely a goddess. Now for a story,” he said.

She sat forward to pass him the drink, “Oh you’re going to tell one?”

He pouted, “I was hoping you would.”

She grimaced wondering what he was going to ask of her this time, “I told stories two weeks ago, the last time we took a real break. I told two of them as a matter of fact.”

“While I will concede you told me the troll story I hardly think you telling me you had a time turner amounts to telling a story.”

“Fine I’ll agree that wasn’t a story, still I told you one I think it’s your turn,” she protested.

“But what would I tell that you don’t already know? Your life over the past few years has been much more interesting. I want to know about you getting your Hogwarts letter. It clearly didn’t come as mine did, by owl. So who delivered it and what did they say? How did your parents react? There may have been Muggle borns or Muggle raised people in Slytherin in the past but we don’t have any currently and even if we did it’s not something we would talk about. In general no one really talks about their home life, in private in our rooms maybe, at least those of us that have known each other longer might say something once in awhile but it’s not a common topic of conversation.”

She nodded, “Other than the first few days of first year it’s not really a topic in our house either. If there is an issue you might discuss it with your closest friends but you don’t share with everyone. We did have a bit of a comparison as to how each of us was notified as Dean, Seamus, Harry, and I were all raised by Muggles, or at least like Muggles. I’d love to sit with Seamus’s mother and find out how she was able to hide it for so long. Seamus and Harry got letters by owl, quite the shock for Harry as he knew nothing about his parents-”

Draco held up a hand, “Wait! He knew nothing. I knew he was raised by Muggles, everyone knows that but they never told him about his parents? Did they not know? Was it something to do with the Statute of Secrecy?”

She shook her head, “No, they knew. He lives with his mother’s sister and her husband and son. They just prefer to pretend the magical world doesn’t exist, and as such they’d rather Harry didn’t either.”

He frowned again, “They mistreat him?”

“I don’t know for sure. He doesn’t say much, never gives details but I get the feeling they don’t treat him well when they bother to notice he exists that is,” she lamented.

“So he really came in knowing nothing just like you did?”

“Less than I did actually,” she quipped,

“Only because you had already memorized Hogwarts: A History and the majority of our other first year texts no doubt.”

Her cheeks flushed furiously, “I’m a researcher, it’s just what I do. Sometimes too much.”

“And you have an incredible memory,” he noted.

Now she ducked her head, “It just took practice that’s all. You don’t have a bad memory yourself.”

He nodded, “Ok so how did you find out you were a witch? Did you ever suspect anything before?”

She curled up once again in her corner of the couch, “I wondered how things happened around me that seemed magical and as I was a voracious reader I’d read books of people with powers so I always thought it just might be possible. I just never thought that even if it were real it would be me. My life was so ordinary. My parents had normal jobs. We went on the same holidays everyone else did. I went to a perfectly ordinary primary school. I had some acquaintances though never close friends. The only thing different about my life that I could see from others around me was the lack of sugar in my house. So when one day over the summer a knock came at the door none of us thought anything of it. We figured it was the postman delivering my book of the month. I went to answer the door and there was McGonagall standing there looking like she’d stepped out of the early 1900s or some strict religious sect that requires its females to have long hair and wear floor length skirts. Her clothes were acceptable for a Muggle but there was something different about her. I don’t know what it was I noticed first but something was different about her. I could almost feel it. She called me by name and said she was there to speak to me and my parents about my schooling. I called for my mother who immediately wanted to send this strange woman away, but McGonagall is persuasive. Before I knew it we were sitting in the living room and she was telling us that she had come to invite me to a special school. She asked me to think back in my life look for times where things seemed to happen very coincidentally. Maybe something broke when I wasn’t holding it, something fell, something moved when there wasn’t any wind, maybe something about me that I didn’t like had changed. I couldn’t believe it. At least a few of those things had happened but I and my parents had always just written them off as coincidences or found some much more normal explanation. Here she was telling me it wasn’t normal, no wait, it was normal for me and others like me but not for people like my parents. She explained about Hogwarts, pulled out her wand and did some simple transfiguration: changing a teacup into a mouse, lifting the foot stool and keeping it floating. My parents were fascinated. They’re dentists, scientists, um I come by my research skills naturally. They enjoy investigating the reasons behind things. She then told my parents that there was a fund that could be used to help me pay for my school books and other materials. They assured her that it was no problem they had money set aside for my education and would gladly give it to her or take me shopping themselves if she would only explain how and where. She smiled at that, I don’t know why I remember that so clearly but I do. She smiled,” at that young Hermione herself smiled and Harry saw the same soft smile grace the face of his grown friend. 

“If I remember correctly your parents were with you in Diagon Alley second year and seemed rather lost so I assume she didn’t tell them how to get you there. How did you go shopping the first time?” he prompted.

“She took me. We went by train to London and walked to the Leaky. She took me through and showed me which brick to tap. She was quite logical in her approach to shopping. We went first to Gringotts where she introduced me to a goblin who helped me exchange the money my parents had sent along with me and then opened an account for me. They also provided me with a small sack with what the professor said was enough money to complete my shopping. We then started at Madame Malkin’s so that I could be measured and the robes completed as we did the rest of the shopping. Next stop was to get my cauldron and potions ingredients, then to Ollivander’s which was quite odd.”

“Ollivander is quite odd,” Draco commented, “it is supposedly a common trait in wandmakers. A very solitary occupation for the most part, they seem to have trouble with people, though the same is often said of the best potioneers as well.”

“That was part of it, he almost didn’t talk to me more just around me. He took my measurements then began to hand me one wand after another. It felt like I barely got it one in my hand before he snatched it out and replaced it.”

He laughed, “Yeah, it was the same with me, but he’s good. It only took three or four before he found the right one for me. Of course he knew what my parents wands were made of so I think he started from that information and built on it.”

“Obviously it wasn't quite that easy for me. At some point I lost track but I'm pretty sure it was something like fifteen wands before he found the right one for me. When he found the right one I knew it right away-”

“It felt warm-” he interrupted.

“Yes,” she replied, “and there was light from the end of the wand.”

“It was like that for me too interesting,” he said. “Mother said when she got hers there was a rush like wind that came from the wand. There are apparently several different ways the wand responds when it’s correct. It makes me wonder why.

“So you’re becoming more interested in wands now, thought you were into potions,” she teased.

“Ha ha, I am but that doesn’t mean I can’t be interested in other areas of magic as well,” he protested.

“I know, anyway there was only one place left to go. It was as if she knew I wouldn't want to leave the bookstore. Our last stop, was Flourish and Botts. She directed me to all the correct books, the ones I needed for classes then gave me time to just wander it was wonderful.”

At this he smiled, “I think I can imagine.”

“Yes I know everyone knows I'm obsessed with books,” she responded with a good natured self-deprecating laugh.

At this he laughed as well, “Well yes, but it’s not just that. I'm the same way about books. I get it from Mother. It’s not that Lucius doesn’t like books but he sees them as merely necessary whereas Mother and I love them. We have a rather large library at home as I'm sure you can imagine. There are very few fiction books but there a number of reference books: potion books, spell books, history books. She could never read every book we own but still she loves them and collects them. She especially loves old books. Father always knows what to get her for Christmas. All he has to do is go searching in book shops, particularly old bookshops, if he can find a first edition copy of a book one mother has never seen before he’s set. She prefers books to jewelry or most anything else.

“Funny,” she said, “for my parents it's the reverse. My father is the one obsessed with books, mostly fiction. However dad loves book, all books, especially old books. Christmas is the same at our house. If mom can find a first edition book he’s happy. If she can find a first edition leather bound book he won't stop grinning all day or longer.”

He leaned against the back of the sofa one arm up behind his head, “So if someone wanted to buy you a gift a book is not a bad idea?”

She peered at him through squinted eyes, “Yes, though it would depend on who was buying the book.”

“That was it then, that was the end of your first excursion to Diagon Alley?” he asked.

“No,” she replied, “McGonagall did take me to the ice cream parlor. That was a lesson all of its own. I had never seen so many flavors, some of them really strange flavors. And to see them stacked so high, the ice cream cone I mean. Scoops stacked one atop another seemingly forever without falling, just amazing. I was simply entranced by magic by the end of my first trip. I did almost nothing but read my books and occasionally try a spell until the day came to catch the train.”

“So she told you about the train,” he asked.

“Yes,” she looked at him bemused, “how else would I know how to get to school?”

“I don't know,” he said, “in magical families you never have to worry about it, that information is just passed down from one generation to the next. You go with your family and they show you how to get in. Guess I never thought about how muggle-borns would learn.”

“When she gave me a ticket that said nine and three quarters I asked where on Earth that could be. I had been to Kings Cross Station with my family before. I knew there were no fraction platforms. So she told me exactly how to find it and how to get through the gate. Still might have thought it was joke but she was so serious. Then when I got to the station with my parents we saw others do exactly as she had told me to do and simply disappear so I said goodbye to my parents and did it, leaving them behind when I went. We weren’t sure they would be able to make it through the barrier and we didn’t want to cause a scene or have either of them wind up injured so I went alone. And wound up right where I belonged on platform nine and three-quarters at the Hogwarts Express. That’s it, that’s all there is to it and now break time is over,” she said.

He nodded, “Yes I suppose you're right. We do still have work to do and very little time left to do it in.”

The scene changed again. The two adults found themselves not in the library, but in a hallway low in the castle near the kitchen. Draco was the only one in sight though he was joined shortly by a house elf. 

“Would you take this please to Hermione Granger in Gryffindor tower,” the boy asked.

The elf immediately began squeaking and shaking, “No, no, no sir. I won’t, I won’t.”

Harry stifled a laugh as Hermione sent a glare his direction before turning back to the scene in front of them.

“Then can you send me an elf that will,” Draco asked.

The tiny elf began to shake a bit more, “Only two elves will go to Gryffindor tower sir.”

Draco sighed and took a deep breath before responding, “Would you please get one of them?”

“Winky is been drinking butterbeer again sir, Dipsy will get Dobby sir,” with that the elf popped away leaving Draco standing open mouthed in the corridor.

“Dobby?” he muttered.

Just a moment later both Harry and Hermione caught their breath and tears sprang to their eyes as the familiar elf appeared in the hallway.

“Master Malfoy,” he said quietly.

“Dobby, it is you,” Draco said.

“Yes sir. Dumbledore is giving Dobby a job here at Hogwarts sir. I is in charge of cleaning the Gryffindor tower.”

“Oookay,” Draco said slowly, “would you take this to Hermione Granger please? Just be sure no one else is around when you deliver it.”

“Yes sir Master Draco sir,” with that the elf popped away and the scene changed again back to the little alcove in the library.

Draco was alone pacing back and forth, stopping every once in awhile to look out the window or peer around the curtain. After several minutes of this he perched on the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees, hands between his legs clasping and unclasping, first the right hand squeezing the left then the opposite. He had just raised his hands and dropped his head into them when young Hermione pulled the curtain aside and stepped into the alcove though she moved no further.

He looked up at her, “I didn’t think you’d come.”

She hovered near the curtain, “I almost didn’t. I was sure it was a bad idea. I didn’t want to leave Harry and I knew he’d worry if I disappeared.”

He tried to keep his voice quiet and calm, “So why are you here?”

She shrugged, “I don’t really know. I just couldn’t go home and not talk to you I guess, not say goodbye.”

He stood slowly, doing everything he could not to scare her, “Goodbye as in until next year or just goodbye.”

“I think you know,” she replied simply.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he protested.

“Doesn’t it?” she nearly yelled, “We’re not living in the same world we were just a day ago. Things are different now.”

“But I’m not different! I’m not my father! I haven’t suddenly become like him! This doesn’t have to be goodbye, please just… please don’t,” he begged.

She shook her head, “I don’t… it’s not safe.”

“Hermione please just don’t say goodbye. Make it see you next year. We can figure it out then. We’ll make it work. I need someone in my life who’s not part of that world. I heard what Potter said. I know my father was there, I know what happened and I believe it but please I need you,” he took a step closer to her stopping when she pulled back slightly, “Just let me prove myself to you. Give me a chance, please.”

She looked past him out the window, eyes filling, one lone tear trailed down her cheek, she wiped it away roughly and finally looked at him and nodded, “Ok then, I’ll see you next year. We’ll meet here after dinner on the first day of classes. If you don’t show I’ll know it’s not safe. Don’t bother sending an owl or an elf just show up or don’t,” she pulled the curtain aside and ran off.

“I’ll be here,” he said to her retreating back, “I’ll be here. I just hope you will be too.”

 

When Harry and Hermione landed back in the present she didn’t say a word just looked at him and headed for the back garden. Harry picked up the Discman and followed her.

They apparated away arriving this time just outside the gates of Hogwarts. Harry let them in and they proceeded to the front doors. Hermione walked with a determined set to her jaw not speaking to anyone. Harry waved and said hello to each of the the students and professors that acknowledged them. When they reached the library he quickly made eye contact with Madam Pince. She nodded slightly and gestured toward the stairs.

Harry led the way up the stairs to the lone corner table where they had seen the young teenagers sitting and studying. Hermione moved past Harry and around the table. She pulled out the chair and sat where her younger self had sat just like the last time they had returned to the library. She ran her hands over the table looking at it intently as if waiting for a wave of memory to wash over her.

She raised her gaze to Harry and stood. This time she led the way, down the same aisle that Draco had led her through in the memory. She arrived at the small alcove. In the years since it had not changed. The window was still there looking out over the grounds, the couch was patch worn as ever, and the curtain though pulled to the side was still there. This little nook had either escaped the scars of the Battle or had been restored to its exact same condition. This was some comfort to Hermione but she couldn't quite explain why. She sat on her end of the couch and looked out the window. Several minutes passed by before she spoke.

“All of this,” she gestured to the alcove and into the library, “all of this. It's a blank other than what we just watched in the Pensieve. None of this is familiar to me. We've only viewed a handful or more of memories and it’s taken so long. How long did the Obliviation take?”

Harry thought for a moment before responding, “It seemed to be hours but I didn't keep track of time. I really don't know. It was night time when we first went to see Kingsley and the sun was out when we left.”

She stood up and looked around again, twisting her lips, squinting her eyes, cocking her head first to one side and then the other.

“There’s something here,” she said pointing at the back of her head near the top, “back there... I can't... Something is there but I can’t tell what. Something is niggling at my brain but I need more.”

“More what?” he asked.

“I don't know,” she said her hand again dropping to her side, “Whatever it was, it’s gone now. There was a moment in the memory where I could hear her thoughts. It had to be my own memory but it disappeared along with the rest. I can see what we saw but I can’t remember that part again.”

Harry reached out, “This sounds like a good thing though. You had a reaction. Something in the memories hit something in you.”

“It’s all just so frustrating!” she cried.

She turned one more time looking closer at the couch, walked over and looked closer at the curtain, then stepped out to begin long walk out of the building. Harry reached out an arm to stop her and handed her the Discman.

She took it silently, turned back into the alcove, placed the headphones over her ears, and pressed play.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t really want to leave it here but it just seemed the natural place. Obviously this wasn’t the end of our relationship. I’ll send the first meeting of the next year another time but I needed you to see this. We were both scared at this point in the year. There were so many people who didn’t believe Harry, didn’t believe Dumbledore when he announced that Voldemort was back. You knew it was true. I knew it was true. For each of us it meant very different things, both horrifying. It was shallow of me but I was also worried that you would judge me for my father something neither of us had mentioned in over a month at that point. You were rapidly becoming my best friend and I had fallen for you completely. I was madly in love with you. I still am. Remember me Hermione.”


	8. Chapter 8

11/6/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: today

D,  
Hermione will most likely write and give you more details about today though it may take her a bit. She’s been locked in her room since we returned from Hogwarts. I’m not sure what she’s doing but something happened today. She can explain what happened better than I but something happened. Something about this must be working. When we went to the alcove she looked at the space as though it was familiar and not because she just seen it. It was something in her head. She also spoke about hearing her thoughts in the memory but they didn’t stay with her afterwards. I think you sparked something. I wonder if it was the more emotional memory, that last one where you met after Voldemort returned or maybe it was seeing Dobby again. Both of us were surprised by that and both of us reacted. It could have been the combination. I know you have your schedule and your plan but you should think about including an emotional memory one with strong emotion each time. If anything else happens with her I'll let you know. If you have any questions that she can’t or for some reason won’t answer, let me know.   
H

P.S. I think at this point we should probably start calling each other by our first names.

 

11/7/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: re: today  
H,  
Thank you for sharing that with me. I will look at the schedule I roughed out and do some rearranging. I am encouraged that she had a bit of a memory return in the Pensieve but I’m not sure how to make it transition to her remembering when she is back in the real world. Maybe that will happen with time. Please keep an eye on her, don’t let her agonize over this trying to access or bring back whatever it was.  
D

P.S. I suppose you are right on our first names but not sure I’ll be able to break the habit of calling you Potter, just so you know.

 

11/10/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: Saturday

Draco,  
I apologize for taking so long to write to you. I imagine you were concerned. I know that Harry wrote to you on Saturday evening to tell you how the day went. He probably told you something happened. I can’t explain it but as we stood in that little alcove, after I sat on that sofa and looked out the window there was just something there. Something in my head. I knew it was there but I didn’t know what it was or how to get to it. It was just there.

I tried doing a longer yoga session and then going back into the memories but nothing changed. Whatever it was didn’t come back. Maybe it was being there in that place after seeing those times we spent there. 

Almost more frustrating is that I know while in the memories I can “hear” what my younger self was thinking. I can hear it in my head as if I’m thinking it right then but when I come back out it’s gone. I’ve tried to find a way to take a quill and parchment in with me so I can write it down but nothing. I set up a tape recorder with a blank tape and recorded as I went in to view the memories and I said everything out loud that was going through my mind. The tape was just as blank as it started when I tried to listen to it. 

I’ve done some further research into Wiccans and come across something that I might try next time. I’m done viewing these memories for now. I can’t say that I won’t watch them again sometime in the future but I think I’ve gotten everything out of them that I can for now. They are in my head and I can play them back anytime just like I can with my favorite movies.

I know this is bound to be a long process but I had hoped that we could find some trick to make it all come rushing back. My patience is just not what it once was; that has to be Harry and Ron’s influence. (that’s a joke by the way, it’s so hard to tell tone in an email, not that it was any easier in a letter).

For this time no questions. Maybe later this week or next week. I just need some time.  
Hermione

 

11/11/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: take your time

Hermione,  
Take all the time you need. If you want me to wait and send the next package a bit later I will. Would you tell me about the research you found when you get a chance?  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/13/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: Dobby

Draco,

This will only be a short note as I am spending a great deal of time at work. Seeing Dobby in your memories has recommitted me to my cause. I will find a way to make a change no matter the glacial progress of things at the Ministry. Thank you for inspiring me again even accidentally.

Hermione

 

11/14/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: you owe me a story

Hermione,  
You’re welcome for the inspiration though now I believe you owe me a story as payment. Why is it the other elves wouldn’t go to Gryffindor Tower? Why only Dobby? and wasn’t Winky Bartemius Crouch’s elf? The one that sat in the top box during the World Cup. 

I suppose I shouldn’t ask that question as it alludes to a memory you have had altered. Yes I was there, and yes at some point you will see it, for now suffice it to say I was there but sitting behind you so might not have remembered my being in the box anyway.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/15/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: the story

Draco,  
I fail to see how accidental inspiration leads to me owing you anything. I will tell you a bit of a story however as repayment for your suggestion into my researching other countries laws.

It wasn’t until Dobby tried to hard to “save” Harry second year that either he or I was aware of house elves. I was quite horrified which will probably come as no shock to you.The thought of someone owning another creature was bad enough but that that creature was forced to punish themselves in horrible ways for disobeying was beyond mortifying. At the time I began to wonder what I could do but nothing came of it until fourth year when I discovered that there were house elves working at Hogwarts. 

Yes, yes, I know now that they were not mistreated, other than possibly by Slughorn, and that they enjoyed their jobs. At the time I was on a mission. I created a student organization that almost no one heard of unless they lived in Gryffindor. Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. No need to point out that the acronym spells out SPEW, I heard that plenty from the twins. I collected money from some of the students that I badgered until they did with the idea of doing something to inform people or change the situation. I also learned to knit, not well, but I learned and began hiding hats and scarves around the Common Room, thinking that if an elf found one they would be freed. 

You’re laughing I just know it. Don’t worry I understand. I was incredibly naive. Though it scared the elves so badly they wouldn’t clean the tower because they were afraid of being freed, I’m pretty sure now that it wouldn’t have worked anyway as the items of clothing weren’t directly given to them. After all they picked up our clothing and did laundry without being freed. I was young and dumb. I still want to see them treated better. I’d love to see them all freed and paid so that they have the option to leave a family that mistreats them not just search for loopholes so that they can disobey or do the minimum work necessary to be considered obeying. That behavior leads to them being mistreated further, it’s a nasty cycle. 

Not much of a story but now you know.

Oh you also wanted to know about my Wiccan research. I found a spell that is to be done the day before a full moon, it will imbue a crystal with powers to help enhance my memory. I think it is worth trying so I’d like to wait on the next Pensieve session until the 27th rather than this weekend as the next full moon is the 23rd. I know that may change your current schedule; you probably have already put the box in the post. Harry and I will just set it aside for a week. We’ll let you know how it goes.  
Hermione

 

11/15/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: thanks for the laugh

Hermione,  
I suppose I owe you a story now. You were right I laughed but not at you, at your naivete. It makes sense that you wouldn’t know about house elves. They wouldn’t be in any of the first or second year textbooks and I hardly think it would be in any books you would pick up to read for leisure. You know Hogwarts has always had a Muggle Studies class, well you know you took it for a year, but they’ve never had a class for those raised in Muggle homes to help them learn and adjust to the things in magical society. A class like that could teach basic home care spells, cleaning and cooking things that you don’t learn in any of the standard classes. There are even those raised in magical homes that might take the class, some of us want to move out from our parents’ homes and don’t know how to take care of ourselves.

Don’t worry about my schedule for sending memories. If you feel you should wait I understand and if you found something that might help then you have my full support. 

Since we have more time until you watch the next memories how bout you ask me a few more questions. Anything you want to know, well anything about my present life or what you’ve seen so far.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/16/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: getting to know you

Draco,  
Questions again huh I suppose we could do that. It is a better use of my time than agonizing over the memories I can't access, that I can't find.

 

So here goes:   
1\. What is your favorite color?  
2\. Who was your favorite DADA professor?  
3\. What is your favorite holiday?  
Hermione

 

11/16/17  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: interesting questions

Hermione,   
Now those are definitely getting to know you questions.

Okay. My favorite color, everyone seems to assume my favorite color is green because of course I'm a Slytherin but that's not true. Yes, I wear it for house pride and I don't dislike green it’s just not my favorite color. My favorite color is blue. I know, I know, there are a million shades of blue so your next question will be what kind of blue? My favorite is a very dark blue like the sky near midnight on the night of a half moon. Full moon is too bright, new moon is too dark, but a sky with a half moon is a blue that is not so dark it's almost black but still very dark. And that would be a complicated answer to a very simple question.

My favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, that takes a little more thought. You weren’t there seventh year so you don't know Carrow and for all you went through that year you should still count yourself lucky for not knowing the Carrow siblings. They were both incredibly cruel and she was crazy but he was a right nutter. Lockhart was useless, Quirrell was a quivering blathering idiot, and Umbridge was just a b****. That leaves us with three Mad Eye Moody, Snape, and Lupin. Mad Eye Moody or rather Bartemius Crouch Jr. was also off his rocker. It's almost frightening how well he actually taught the subject considering that he was a Death Eater but I suppose he had to put on a convincing front. For reasons you will see within the next month or so I hate him. That leaves two. Snape was a good teacher in both of his subjects but I preferred him for potions and I’m not sure exactly why. It could simply be that I preferred him to Slughorn. My favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was Lupin. If you told anyone else that they probably wouldn’t believe you. Back then I complained about him much as I did every other professor as did my housemates. He knew what he was talking about and he knew the best way to teach us. His practical lessons are still some of my favorite of my entire schooling. He was also like McGonagall, fair-minded. He showed no real allegiance to any one house not even the one that had been his when he was a student. He handed out and took away points nearly evenly. If he took them away they deserved to be taken away, but more than anything he simply handed them out. At the time if you had asked me about him I would have definitely said something disparaging but looking back I can see that he was the best.

My favorite holiday, it would have to be Christmas. That may be because it was the only holiday we really celebrated and when I say celebrated I mean CELEBRATED. Mother went all out decorating the house. Father went all out on gifts as did Mother to be honest. They had a ball every year. It was a huge affair with at least a hundred people if not more. Mother always made sure there was a room set up just for my friends and I so that we wouldn't have to spend too much time with the adults. I know now that that was probably as much for the adults as it was for us children but I still remember it being so special. When I was little and still enthralled by adults I loved standing by the door greeting everyone with my parents watching them come in. Everyone was always decked out in brand new dress robes and the women would be dripping jewels. As I got older I of course I outgrew that and began dreading the very idea of greeting every single guest. It was always a wonderful evening. Christmas morning was quiet in our house, but it was still wonderful. We always had several trees in the house. Most of them were decorated on a theme that year’s color scheme Mother had decided on and ordered the decorations for. In our private study however there was a tree covered in ornaments passed down through the family. My mother had several favorites hung in the same spots each year. I think some of them were even my father's favorite. He never said but each year there were a handful that he would hang by hand rather than by wand. Things like that make me wonder what my father would have been like if Voldemort had never been. Gifts are obviously a big part of Christmas and of course as we had money it's always a huge pile for me. It isn't my gifts I remember so much. Oh I do remember my first broom, my first potions kit, my first pair of Quidditch tickets but it's the gifts Mother and Father gave one another that I remember. You may not be able to tell throughout the year or on any ordinary day but on Christmas it is clear that my parents truly love one another. They would have several gifts for each other but each year there was one special one. One thing they had really spent time trying to find or making themselves. They would save those for the evening after we had returned from the grandparents houses. We would spend that last hour sitting by the tree in front of the fireplace me on the floor and them together on the sofa. They would exchange that last gift. The evening always ended with my slipping out quietly after they had opened their gifts but I would stand at the door and watch them gaze at each other.

Well that was three really long answers to three really simple questions. I feel as if I should ask you the same questions.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/17/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: really not necessary

Draco  
You really don’t have to ask me questions. You probably know the answers to them anyway.  
Hermione

 

11/17/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: humor me

Hermione,  
We haven’t spoken much in the past three years and your answers might have changed so humor me and answer them please, unless you really don’t want to. Don’t feel that you have to, and don’t feel that it’s necessary to make your answers as long as mine.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/18/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: ok then

Draco,  
Well all right then I’ll answer them and I don’t think I could come up with answers as long as yours. 

My favorite color is purple, since you were specific I will be as well. I like a deep purple, sometimes called royal purple.

My favorite DADA professor - I guess this is one reason we got along so well; your thoughts and mine are nearly the same. Lupin was the best.

My favorite holiday is also Christmas. I love the decorations. I love the carols. I love putting up the tree. I love the lights. I love it all.

This brings the questions back to you:  
What is your favorite candy?  
What is your favorite place for vacation?  
What is your favorite game to play?  
Hermione

 

11/18/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: short and sweet

Hermione,  
Let’s see if I can answers these questions quickly and without way more information than is truly needed.

Favorite candy - chocolate frogs, still haven’t managed to collect all of the cards, though I somehow have three of Harry and two of you

favorite place to vacation - the Black family chateau in the south of France

favorite game to play - chess, I know not a favorite of yours though I promise I can teach you and you will learn to play better even if you never enjoy it.

So I know you love sugar quills, and that you love some board game called Trivial Pursuit full of Muggle knowledge but I don’t know what your favorite place to vacation is that will be your first question. As for two more your favorite animal and did you ever get injured as a child, before you came to Hogwarts?  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/20/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: injuries???

Draco,  
That’s an interesting question. And the answer is no. I was not a child that ran and did risky things as much as other children. I much preferred to sit on my bench in our bay window or under a tree and read. I did step in a hole in the field during physical education in fourth grade but somehow didn’t twist my ankle. I’ve wondered since then if it had something to do with magic but then how many injuries did we see people suffer during Quidditch matches. I think that day may have just been luck.

My favorite place to vacation, a few years ago I would probably have said camping in the Forest of Dean but there are too many bad memories of that place now. Portugal I think, the beaches of Portugal.

My favorite animal - I’m surprised you have to ask. You know of course that I had a cat, well part cat part kneazle I think actually, Crookshanks. I have always loved cats. Visiting the large cats at the zoo was my favorite part of those trips. I particularly love lionesses.

Did you have any injuries as a child?  
What is your favorite animal?  
Did you have any pets when you were younger?  
Hermione

 

11/21/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
RE: last email for a few days

Hermione,  
I will answer these questions and send you more but I won’t be able to email for a few days. Terrence has insisted on taking me home to his parents place in Tennessee for Thanksgiving. It should be an interesting experience but he says they don’t have a null magic room at their place and that they are quite far from any NoMaj towns so I won’t have access to a computer or my mobile. I just didn’t want you to wonder what had happened when I didn’t write again.

I don’t think I could list all of the injuries I had as a child, then again I think life is very different for magical children. We grow up knowing most anything is healable. There is always a spell or a potion for broken bones or cuts, we can even regrow bones. So I took more risks than you did. I might have taken more than even the average magical child. I was on a broom as often as I could be, flying higher and higher, faster and faster. I was usually pretty good about catching myself when I fell but I know I have broken both arms, multiple fingers, my left leg, gashed my right thigh quite badly on the fence when I flew too low. One of Father’s blasted peacocks nearly took my arm off when I angered it simply by walking by too closely.

Pets? I would have loved to have a pet. At one point Mother purchased a kneazle kitten for me. It was tiny and fluffy and completely adorable (please don’t tell Potter I said that). It disappeared, all we ever found was small tufts of fur. It was the damned peacocks I just know it though I was never able to prove it. Mother offered to get me another kneazle or a krup but I didn’t want to lose another pet so I said no. 

Have a wonderful week. I will hear from you again Saturday or Sunday I imagine.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

11/21/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: Thanksgiving?

Draco,  
I don’t know if you will get this before you leave or when you return but have a good trip and you’ll have to tell me all about it when you return.  
Hermione


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (some words are straight JKR, I take no credit for them)

11/27/99 

Hermione,

The memories I’m sending today go much further back. They should be some of the first that you had of me that would be gone. They are also memories I’m not proud of. I was a horrendous child. At the time I didn’t think that. I rather thought I was better than most anyone due to my family name and our money. I learned better though it took some things that no one should have to live through for me to learn. You will see some memories that you appear in, though the first is just me and my dorm mates after our first potions class together. Before you even view it and the one that follows I want to apologize and say if after seeing them you decide not to continue I understand though I will try to convince you otherwise, selfishness is still one of my more predominant traits though I am working on it. 

This is a time where once again I will let the memories speak for themselves just please keep in mind I was a young, ignorant, fool.

Always yours,  
Draco

 

As had become their habit Harry and Hermione stood side by side at the Pensieve and leaned over the bowl together. They landed in a long, low underground room with rough stone walls and ceiling from which round greenish lamps were hanging on chains. A fire was crackling under an elaborately carved mantelpiece, several high backed chairs sat around it.

“The Slytherin common room,” Harry murmured.

Several young boys sat in the chairs, an even younger Draco than Hermione had seen in the previous memories stood in the middle of them.

“Who is she?’ he groused, “Who does she think she is? Some Mudblood practically jumping out of her seat to answer questions as if she knows anything at all. She shouldn’t be so eager to prove herself an idiot. I could have answered all of that but you didn’t see me nearly wetting myself in excitement. Potter was the one that was supposed to answer there was no reason for any of the rest of us to even try.”

They heard the other boys make noises of agreement as the scene in front of them changed. They were no longer in the dungeon; they weren’t even in the castle any longer. They had landed outside Hagrid’s hut. They could see little Draco peering in the window through the crack in the curtains and when they came up behind him they could see their younger selves sitting around the table where they watched the dragon egg on the table crack open and the young Norwegian Ridgeback come out. 

The color suddenly drained from Hagrid’s face - he leapt to his feet and ran to the window. 

They could hear him say “Someone was looking’ through the gap in the curtains - it’s a kid - he’s runnin’ back up ter the school.”

Young Harry bolted to the door and looked out. Malfoy had run between the adults and was headed back up the hill.

Seconds later they were back in the castle where two people were grappling with each other. A lamp flared.

Professor McGonagall, in a tartan bathrobe and a hair net, had Malfoy by the ear.

“Detention!” she shouted. “And twenty points from Slytherin! Wandering around in the middle of the night, how dare you-”

“You don’t understand, Professor. Harry Potter’s coming - he’s got a dragon!”

“What utter rubbish! How dare you tell such lies! Come on - I shall see Professor Snape about you, Malfoy!” 

The two figures walked away down the hall and the scene changed once more. Now they stood in the front hall with Malfoy and Filch, watching Harry, Hermione, and Neville come down the stairs. 

"Follow me," said Filch, as he lit a lamp and led the children outside.

Hermione pulled back on Harry by their joined hands until they were as far back from the children as they could be without leaving the Pensieve.

“This isn’t right,” she said. “I remember all of these I’ve been in but it wasn’t Malfoy it was Theo Nott.”

Harry looked at her, “Theo Nott?”

“Yes,” she insisted.

As the children entered the forest with Hagrid, Harry pulled them out of the memory. As they stood next to the table in the small room again he looked at her and said, “Ok let me be sure I understand. You have these memories. You remember us at Hagrid’s when Norberta hatched. You remember seeing McGonagall catch someone and give them detention as we were headed to meet Charlie with the dragon and you remember going to detention but in what you remember Draco is never there, it’s Nott instead.”

“That's exactly what I'm saying Harry.”

He shook his head, “I don't understand. Draco's memories match mine. I don't-” 

She shrugged and interrupted, “I don't understand either but I know what's in my head. Here, take Draco's memories out of the Pensieve.” She picked up the vial and handed it to Harry.

Harry used his wand to draw Draco’s memories into the vial, capped it, and set it aside. Hermione lifted her own wand to her temple, drew out a long thin silver strand, and sent it down into the pensieve. She took Harry’s hand and said, “Here.”

They landed back at Hagrid's hut, this time inside near their younger selves. Once again they watched the baby dragon hatch from its egg, Hagrid coo over it, then jump up and rush to the window.

“What’s the matter?”

Young Harry bolted to the door, opened it, and saw a student running away. The adults stood close behind him. They could clearly see that it was black haired Theodore Nott running towards the castle.

Shortly they were again standing in the darkened hallway watching two figures struggle and the lamp flare to life again. There stood Professor McGonagall in her tartan bathrobe and hair net. It was Nott that she held by the ear insisting that Harry was coming with a dragon. It was Nott assigned to the detention, and it was Nott that she said that she would speak to Snape about.

It was little surprise to Harry when they found themselves standing in the entrance hall behind young Harry Hermione and Neville across from Filch was Theo. Filch again led the children to the Forbidden Forest to be met by Hagrid. 

At this they came back out of the memory. Harry stepped back for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest, putting a finger to his lips, “So Unspeakable didn’t just remove memories he modified some of them.”

“I suppose he did all of the spells non-verbally,” Hermione said. 

“Yes,” he replied. “He never said a word. Kingsley assured me that he would use Legilimens along with Obliviate to be sure that he took only what was necessary and left behind the rest. I should have realized they would also modify. We haven't spoken about what happened at school since your Obliviation or I might have realized before now that that was what was done.”

She leaned against the table, “I wonder what a effect this will have on recovering my memory. I wonder if it will be easier to recover a modified memory rather than one that has been taken away.”

Harry looked to the ceiling and back down at her, “I don't know. It seems like it would be easier. I guess we'll find out. I have an idea take your memories out and put them in a separate vial. I'll show you my memories of the same times.”

Hermione picked up her wand from where she had laid it next to the pensieve on the table and used it to draw the silvery strand of her memory from the pensieve and into an empty vial that Harry had summoned from number 12. 

Then it was Harry's turn to put his wand to his temple and down into the bowl. For the third time that afternoon they dove into the past landing in a slightly different location in Hagrid’s Hut where they could see the table, the children, hagrid, and the hatching egg. Hermione didn’t wait this time instead she walked to the crack in the curtains at the window to see the bright blond hair of the boy peering in. She turned to look at Harry just as Hagrid came running to the window.

“It's Draco,” she said.

As young Harry called nearly the same thing from the door.

The familiar mists swirled as the scene shifted and they found themselves back in the hallway to the Astronomy Tower. There plaid clad McGonagall had blonde-headed Malfoy by the ear, chewing him out. This memory continue as the two figures disappeared down the hallway Harry and Hermione appeared from beneath the invisibility cloak. 

Hermione was dancing, “Malfoy's got detention. I could sing!”

As they stepped down the stairs into the front entrance hall behind their younger selves and little Neville they saw Filch with young Malfoy. She didn't wait this time for Filch to lead the children to the forest to join Hagrid.

Again she leaned on the table considering, “It should be no surprise to me that your memories are the same as his. I assume we are to go back to Hogwarts again?”

He nodded. She gestured to the door and let him lead the way. Before following him she turned to look at the vial of her memories, the one filled with Draco’s, and the swirling silver of Harry’s in the bowl.

“I will understand this and get it all back,” she insisted to the empty room before heading out.

As they landed outside the gate of Hogwarts Harry said, “We won't be going to the Slytherin common room as you’ve never been there anyway with or without Draco. We will however go to Hagrid’s and up to the hallway outside of the Astronomy Tower. If you would like, I think we could get a copy of Hagrid’s memory or one from Headmistress McGonagall and use the pensieve in her office to view them.”

She thought for a moment, “I appreciate the thought but I don't think that's necessary. I believe you. I knew my memories had been deleted, erased I had just never thought that some might only be modified. I don't know that I thought it was possible.”

They first entered the castle they went straight for the hallway outside the astronomy tower. Hermione had no different reaction there than she had in the library the first time they had visited it. She led the way as they walked back down the stairs to the entrance hall, next they walked to the edge of the Forbidden Forest and just stood there for a few moments. She walked back and forth there at the edge, risking a few steps into the Forest itself before she then turned and headed to Hagrid’s.

The visit to Hagrid's hut took longer than expected as he was home and happy to welcome them for tea and cake. It had been several months he had seen either Harry or Hermione. He wanted to catch up with them and to fill them in on Grawp and Fang and the creatures that he was using this term in his Care of Magical Creatures classes. They all sat inside the hut at the same table that had so many times before. The one they had seen three times already today before arriving. Hermione only half listened as Hagrid spoke. The memories in her head hers, Harry, and Draco's took most of her attention. She knew of course it was possible to modify memories. It was what she had done to her own parents. She had simply removed herself from their memories however she had not replaced herself with some other child. She should have known that it was a possibility but hadn't given it a thought, simply concentrating on recovering the memories that were no longer there at all. It seemed she hadn’t thought of that when she had first suggested the plan to Kingsley. Even that discussion was gone, she realized. 

They didn't get back home until late that evening and both went straight off to bed.

The next afternoon Harry was sitting by the fire polishing his broom that had become dusty from lack of use and being stored in the hall closet when Hermione came rushing through the door.

“Come with me,” she cried.

She didn't wait for him to respond. She crossed the room to stand in front of him, grabbed the broom from his hands, took them, pulled him from the chair, and took him with her out the door and into number 13.

“Hermione what's wrong?” asked Harry.

“I need you to come with me into the pensieve. I need you to see if you see what I see,” she was quite nearly rambling.

Harry’s left eye squinted as his right eyebrow shot up, “Slow down! What are you talking about?

“I just made a new copy of my memories and watched them but something's different this time. I think it... it... I need you to come with me see the difference,” she insisted.

By then they had reached the room. She led him to the table but didn’t let him get any further words out before sending them flying back into the past once again. They landed, as they had twice yesterday in Hagrid's Hut.

“What am I looking for?” Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head vigorously, “I'm not going to tell you. I want to see if you see what I saw.”

By this time in the memory Hagrid was at the window and young harry was running for the door. At Hermione’s urging adult Harry followed his younger self. There was of course a child running away from the hut that clearly had Draco's bright blonde hair but not his slight build. He turned back to Hermione.

Before he could say or ask her anything the scene shifted again. In the hallway once the lamp was lit, it was clear the child McGonagall held was Theo with Draco's hair. They saw the same thing again in the entrance hall with Filch and the others.

When they landed back in the small room at number 13 Grimmauld Place Hermione very nearly shrieked, “You saw it!”

Harry blinked his eyes then held up one hand, “You said those are new copies of your memory right?”

“Yes!” she squealed.

He walked over and sat in the large chair in the corner just on the edge of it, forearms on his knees. He started by looking at the floor sitting quietly for a little while, then raised his head to look at his friend, “It looks like your memory is repairing itself.”

Hermione flung both hands out to the side, “I know! At least I think that's what's happening.” She reached down to the table and picked up two vials that she had labeled D and H. I did what I've done the last two times. I went back in to rewatch the memories. When I went to rewatch my own something told me not to watch the ones from yesterday but to access them again so I did and this is what I got,” she said pointing to the silvery swirls in the bowl.

Harry stood and walked over to her putting his hands on her shoulders, “This is great! This is progress!”

She laughed excitedly and hugged him then stepped back. As he watched her, her face fell, “What if they go back to the way they were? What if I don't get any better? What if I lose the progress I’ve made?”

“‘Mione,” he said quietly, “don't borrow trouble. Concentrate on the positive on the progress.”

“I'll try,” she promised.


	10. Chapter 10

11/28/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: something happened  
D  
I'm not sure why I'm still bothering to write to you when I know Hermione will tell you everything that I will. You asked though so I’ll keep it up until or unless you tell me to stop. It appears that Hermione's memories were modified not just obliviated. The good news is the modified memories seem to be repairing themselves. She'll explain how as I have no idea. I will tell you this she alternates between being incredibly excited at the progress to very down and worried that this is all the progress she’ll make, that she'll lose it too. She's trying control of herself and not let herself overdo things but I think in the near future I may have to lock up the pensieve and the memories when I’m not home. I'll let you know if anything else changes.  
H

 

11/28/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: PROGRESS

Draco,  
If you have more memories where Harry and I are together in them with you, you should send those! I think those might be the key unlocking everything else. Harry said he wasn't going to share specifics with you so I will. We watched your memory and discovered that I have the same one with someone else in place of you, Theo in case you were wondering. So we watched mine, where we saw Theo, then Harry's. A little while ago I did my rewatching like I do and went back to watch mine again, a new copy, but this time it was Theo with your platinum blonde hair. My memories had changed. I worry that if we don't try something similar this progress will regress. I know most of your research and mine has been into reversing memory loss or in the case of witches and wizards, obliviation, but have you come across anything on reversing memory modification? I didn't reverse my parents. I didn't trust myself to do it. I was worried I might mess up and lose them forever. I spoke to Kingsley and he had an Auror do it. It worked perfectly but they did it non-verbally so I don't know how they did it. Harry said the Unspeakable that took care of me did it nonverbally as well so we don't know exactly how mine was done either. Obviously I know the theories behind the modification since I did modify Mum and Dad, but this is different with some memories being modified and others completely gone. If you have any ideas share them with me please.  
Hermione

 

11/28/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: re: PROGRESS

Hermione,  
I'm glad to know that's something we're doing is working. I find it odd you don't think what you did to your parents is the same as what was done to you. It sounds nearly identical to me. I can understand though with your emotional state at the time having to memory modify your own parents that it might not all be clear. Maybe you could pull that memory and watch it, see if it gives you any ideas. Is the Auror that Kingsley assigned to work on your parents someone you can trust? Maybe you could talk to them. Could you even talk to the Minister himself? Would he help? I would write more now my darling but we only just arrived back and I have to be at work early tomorrow. I will do more research when I get the chance. I am excited though that something seems to be making a difference. I don’t know how many more memories I have with both you and Harry in them but I will look them over and see about sending them soon. If not this next time then after that. Let’s not push too far too fast. Goodnight.  
Always yours,  
Draco

P.S. As per your previous email I will tell you all about my trip and Thanksgiving in another message in the next few days.

 

11/28/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: re: something happened

Harry,  
I see what you mean. I can almost hear her voice and the excitement and worry just in her last email to me. I have a feeling she will be angry with me as I won’t be sending her the memories she wants to see next. I want to hold off, spread those out. I’ll do my best to explain to her but I wanted you to be aware because you will be the one to get the earful when she decides to vent. Thanks again for keeping me updated.  
Draco

 

11/29/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: something happened  
D  
Thanks for the heads up. I’ll make sure I have some ear plugs handy or maybe just be ready to cast a quick Silence. No, I really wouldn’t do that. I know better it would only make her angrier. I’ve lived through other rants before I can make it through this one.  
H

 

11/29/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: excellent ideas  
Draco,

I don’t know why I didn’t think about asking Kings or maybe talking to the Auror I’ll see if I can do that. As for my memories of modifying my parents’ I’m not sure how much good they would be. I can try of course, at this point I’ll try almost anything so long as it’s legal, and possibly even if it isn’t. Seeing Theo with the blond hair was incredibly frustrating as much as it was exciting. It’s like we’re on the verge of making a big breakthrough but just not there yet. I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time wondering just why the Unspeakable chose to use Theo in place of you. Why not Crabbe or Goyle who you spent much more time with? Why not Blaise who seemed to be with you more than Theo? Or is that the answer? To distance those memories even more from you, to try and avoid tripping a reaction. What do you think?  
Hermione

P.S. oh my I’m sorry I do want to hear about your trip and all about the people you have been working with I’m just so focused on this right now. It would probably be good for you to tell me more about your life now, get my mind going in a different direction. I need to get my focus back for work anyway. I was a mess today. I’m going to have a hard time keeping my job if I can’t get any work done. Of course if I were to lose my job I could work more on getting my memories back. Don’t panic I’m not serious. I need my job and I do enjoy it for the most part even with dealing with the bureaucracy that is the Ministry. Oh my this PS is nearly as long as the original message, sorry.

 

11/30/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: my turn to tell a story or two

Hermione,  
Please tell me you mean it that you won’t try to lose your job. If I thought that you not working would help in any way I would suggest that you take a leave of absence. I know you haven’t been working long enough for that usually to be an option but seeing as you know the Minister personally and all you did to help end the war I can’t believe they wouldn’t give you the time.

So it seems it’s my turn to tell a story. I’ll start by telling you about the group that I’ve been taken in by here.

I suppose I should start by telling you about Martha my Potions Master. My guess is that she's probably in her sixties or seventies but I haven't asked. My mother raised me well enough to know you never ask a woman her age. She is exacting. She is a perfectionist and that works well for me because I'm the same way. She is also however a very patient teacher. Obviously there are a great number of potions we didn't learn in school. Those that are most frequently used but we didn't learn previously are the ones she has been working with me on. We first discuss the theory behind the potion, we look at the ingredients list and the methods of cutting, stirring, adding ingredients. She shows me what she has discovered that works better for her than what is in the books. Then I start brewing and she judges my results throughout the process and at the end. For the most part I have done well but there have been one or two potions I had to scrap and start over.

When I first arrived here in New Orleans the MACUSA representative that was assigned to me when I arrived in the States had shared with me how to find the magical areas in several cities in case I decided that New Orleans wasn’t for me though I had let them know it was my intention to live here. So I already knew how to find it here in New Orleans and how to access it. The first day I settled in, then wandered the streets of both the NoMaj and wizarding areas of the city. I hadn't brought any supplies with me, only the most basic necessities, so I stopped in several shops to get what I might need. When I stopped in to Martha’s shop, the clerk had gone to lunch and she herself was working the front. She noticed my accent immediately, as does everyone here, and asked where I had moved from. She wasn't sure if it was a British or Australian accent exactly though she knew it to be one of the two. You’ll have to tell me just how similar those are as you’ve been to both places. When I told her that I was from the UK she quite forwardly asked if I was here to get away from the aftermath of the war. I hesitated a bit before answering probably not the best idea but she didn't read anything into it. I said that yes in some respects that was why I had moved. She asked why I was in the shop quickly followed by her next question what I was going to do. I told her of my interest in potions and that I was planning to do long-distance potions apprenticeship with Professor Slughorn. She asked why I didn’t look for a potions Master there. I told her I wasn't sure about getting an apprenticeship I didn’t know what was required, if it was any different than the UK requirement. She said all that was needed was for copies of my final potions assessment scores, the NEWTS in other words, and recommendations from my professors. The US system has adapted a very similar testing program to what we have. 

I asked her if she knew of anyone looking for an apprentice she said that she had one person about halfway through an apprenticeship and was willing to take on a second if I met her qualifications, and asked if I would be interested. I’m not dumb I told her I was absolutely interested. I didn't necessarily care for Slughorn, he wasn’t a bad teacher, but he's not Snape. I was never quite sure how a long-distance apprenticeships would work anyway. It seemed to make much more sense to do it here so I went home and gathered up all of the paperwork she needed. I added to it a letter sent from the MACUSA about my situation and the letter sent from the Minister. I took them all back to her shop, gave them to her, and told her that after she had read them all if she did not wish to take me on I understood. I thanked her for even considering me. She told me to return in three days for her answer.

When I return to the shop, Claire, the clerk was working. I asked for Martha and Claire directed me to the back. In the lightest, brightest, and airiest potions lab I have ever seen I found Martha and Terrence. She smiled when she saw me and asked me to join her in her office. Instead of her sitting her behind her desk with me in front of it, we sat together at a table she had in the corner of her office. She had all of my documents laid out. She thanked me for being honest and upfront with her in providing the documents about my participation in the war. She asked after my mother and we spoke for a little while, then she offered me the apprenticeship. She said that with my scores and the records of the work that I had done in my year at home she thought that my apprenticeship could be completed within a year instead of the standard two. I gladly accepted her offer

At the end of my first week working in Martha's shop she invited me home for Sunday dinner with her family. I met her husband Maurice, two of their children, and five of their grandchildren. Sunday dinners at Martha and Maurice's are a loud and noisy affair, nothing like the dinners in my home growing up. It took me awhile to get used to the difference which is odd considering how loud and crazy things could be dinners or lunches or even breakfasts at Hogwarts I look forward to those Sundays now. If not every week then every other week I attend. Each time there's a different array of people. I have now met all four of Martha and Maurice's children and all ten of their grandchildren. They have introduced me to many of their friends. They have taken me in and asked if my mother is ever able to visit me bring her along to dinner as well.

M & M are a funny couple, she is tiny. She might be a meter and a half tall she is also quite thin. Maurice on the other hand is a full thirty centimeters taller and weighs at least 17 stone. She has long dark grey hair that is most often kept in a knot on the top of her head much as McGonagall always kept hers. Maurice’s head is bald except for very small patches above either ear. Their children are everywhere in between but all have olive skin and green eyes. I’ve never known a family where everyone has the same eye color but this one does.

The clerk that I mentioned earlier Claire, is about our age. She says she enjoys potions and easily understands the theory behind them and how they work but just doesn’t have the knack for making them. She does however have a way with people the rest of us don’t. Claire is seldom alone. More often than not her sister Jean is nearby. Jean is a writer so she can work from anywhere. I've not spoken much with Jean as she is quiet and sits in a corner of the shop at a table, parchment and quill in hand writing furiously most days. The two are almost identical in looks, about your height with dark red hair they wear about shoulder length, their personalities though are night and day and they dress to match those personalities. I did ask as they looked so much alike but they aren’t twins, merely very close in age, born only sixteen months apart.

That leaves Terrence. Terry is the one that took me home to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. T and his partner John that is. Terry is in his late twenties. He previously completed an apprenticeship in healing and began working in the position. After a few years, he decided it really wasn't what he wanted to do. He said his favorite time working was when he was assigned to the potions lab refilling the stockpile of basic potions used in treating patients. I guess the healers do all the basic potions and anything more complicated is contracted out to a potion master like Martha. His grades in school he claims, were not the best as he preferred to play and to flirt, so he spent a year studying with books practicing the basic potions at home. Then he retook his final exam receiving a much higher score than the first time he took it. He connected with Martha through a Wizarding job service. It seems when students here in the states complete their schooling and take their final test they express their desire to go into a certain field like when we had to meet with our heads of house about careers fifth year. There is a service for matching newly graduated witches and wizards to a job or an apprenticeship in the area where they would like to live.

Terrence already lived here in New Orleans. He met his partner John back in the original healer apprenticeship program. Martha says when she saw Terry on the list she contacted him and asked about his previous experience. She liked what she heard so she invited him to join her as an apprentice. He told me that at the time she had another apprentice that was not working out. He wouldn't tell me more but it's really none of my business so it's not a big deal. Besides we get along with each other and Martha so we'll cares about someone who didn't work out. It's not like I'd know them.

Terry and John are an interesting couple. Terrence is a joker; he's the comedian in the shop. He just loves to laugh and tell stories. John is much more serious though ready going. Every once in awhile he'll get this look in his eye and you just know what he's about to say will have you rolling on the floor laughing. They're apartment is just down the road, not far from mine. They, like Martha have taken me in, inviting me for dinner frequently. I take them up on the offer once, maybe twice a week I don't want to intrude on their time alone. I suppose since I've decided the others’ appearances I should describe these to as well. Terry is a little more than ten centimeters taller than I am. Not sure how familiar you are with the American’s measuring system but he says he's six feet two inches. John is just barely taller than me though he looks like a Beater, how build is wider but not fat. Terry is thin as a rail. They are ebony and ivory, T has skin a shade darker than mine and J is a shade lighter than Blaise.

I'm not sure how much you know about Thanksgiving in the States so I'll give you a little bit of background though I suppose I could just ask you to research it yourself it would give your focus a new direction to go. The stories are centered around the first group of pilgrims who left England for the New World, what is now known as America. They suffered an incredibly hard first year losing a great number of those who had made the journey and settled there. They continued to struggle until a Native American came to them who had been educated and spoke English. He taught them how to plant food that would live get them through the long winter. The first Thanksgiving was a harvest festival celebrated by that group. It wasn't until the middle of the 1800s when Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday by Abraham Lincoln. Now the last Thursday of November families get together and gorge themselves on huge feasts and talk about what they are thankful for.

Terrence grew up in the Smoky Mountains. It's close enough that he was able take me by side along apparition. Martha was kind enough to give us both Wednesday off so we were able to leave Tuesday evening after we have finished work. When we arrived I was incredibly glad that I'd been spending so many Sundays at Martha's house. As large and busy as it is, T's family is at least twice as large. He is one of eight children. He and John are the only ones who don't have children of their own yet, though he has confided in me that they are hoping within the next year they will be able adopt a child from an agency that identifies magical children in NoMaj orphanages or foster homes. That is a story for another time but one worth telling remind me in the future if I forget. 

All together the other seven children have fifteen children of their own and two of those have an additional two children each. Thanksgiving at Terrence’s family was nearly as large as a feast at Hogwarts. His father William and his mother Regina live in the large main house. They have a rather large piece of land so they have built several cabins. Each child has their own and now the grandchildren with families of their own are getting cabins for themselves. If you stand on the porch at the main house and look down the hill, or mountain rather as they live at the top of one, you can see the roofs dotting the landscape, smoke curling up from the chimneys. They have a personal floo network setup for all of those homes. It can be turned on and off in each cabin or the main house, a kind of do not disturb function that we use wards for. It comes in quite handy with that number of people bouncing about. Regina and William, or Reggie and Bill as they insisted I call them, offered me a room in the main house and I quickly accepted not wanting to step on Terrance and John's toes or impede on their private time. I had almost a whole wing of the place to myself. It was a lot like being back home except it's made of wood not stone and filled with people rather than almost empty.

The next day, Wednesday, Terry and his siblings introduced me to spelunking. It all started as we sat around the table eating breakfast. Someone asked me if I liked Quidditch. I naturally said yes.The following question was did I ever play. I said that yes I had played on the team at Hogwarts on my house team so of course they asked what position when I said Seeker they asked if I was any good. Unfortunately thanks to Potter I couldn't say I was undefeated but I felt comfortable saying I wasn’t bad. After the dishes and things had been cleared away they found a broom for me and we all went what tracking off into the woods in one long line to the mouth of a cave. By this point I was a bit confused, but I followed along. The cave ran for a bit with much of the way through only wide enough for one person at a time. When we reached the end I could see that it opens up into a gigantic room with a very tall ceiling. Apparently when Terry was about three his siblings had gone wandering and found this cave. I think I forgot to mention he’s the sixth of the eight kids. They all came running back to tell their father who went with them to see what they had found. They have turned this giant cavern into an indoor quidditch pitch. The have been playing in there for years. The walls and ceilings have been buttressed with not magic and by NaMaj means. When we got there they divided up into teams. With all of the kids, grandkids, and friends that had been invited along there were enough people for four full Quidditch teams so we were able to play a tournament. Bill was the referee and Reggie stood by to do any healing that might be necessary. It went almost all day and was more fun than I've had in ages. I woke up Thanksgiving morning happier than I've ever been for magical healing I was so sore I could barely move.

Dinner that day was a grand affair. The centerpiece of the meal was three of the largest turkeys ever cooked. On the side were mounds of mashed potatoes, cranberries, dressing, rolls and butter, corn, green beans, chestnuts, some little onion dish and it was followed up by just about every flavor of pie. I sat not far from some of the teenage grandchildren. They asked me questions about Hogwarts and we spent some time comparing it to Ilvermorny the American magical school.

We stayed until late Sunday, several more games of Quidditch were played, they took me all over the mountain and into the small magical town that is nearby. We consumed enough food to feed an army, and I enjoyed every minute.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

12/1/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: sounds like fun  
Draco  
It sounds like you had a wonderful trip. You have really make some great friends. It makes me wish that I could meet them. Adopting magical orphans? Can you imagine how different life would be for so many people if we had that here? What if Riddle had been adopted and raised by people who loved him? I look forward to hearing more about it maybe I can suggest the a similar program to the Minister.  
Hermione

 

12/1/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: an apology  
Hermione  
I hope that someday you can meet them. I feel as if I should apologize to you. She knew everything about me from the records that I gave her, my involvement in the war that is. The others had no idea. I felt they had the right to know before they had to work with me, so I sat down with Claire and Terrence in Martha's office at her table. I shared with them the story. The story that you will find out through these memories. I feel bad knowing they know things about me and that you don't know. They were the ones I went to for advice. They asked after you. They know that we are in contact, and they hope that this all works out they so get to meet you. I apologize for telling complete strangers about you, you and your life and our problem. It was probably not the right thing to do without checking with you first, so I'm sorry I hope that you can forgive me.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

12/2/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: Don’t worry  
Draco,  
Normally I would be upset that you had shared something so personal with strangers but this is not a normal situation. At this point I’d take suggestions from almost anyone. I know we just did a pensieve session this past Saturday but as Harry has the next package I’m planning on doing it again this Saturday and getting back on your schedule. Just wanted to let you know.  
Hermione

 

12/2/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: okay  
Hermione,  
I’m not so attached to my original schedule that I feel the need to get back to it, however as things seem to be going well and progress is being made I don’t see any reason that you shouldn't go ahead and do it this weekend. There are no memories this time with you and Harry but I’ll send at least one of those next time.  
Always yours,  
Draco


	11. Chapter 11

12/4/99

Hermione,  
There are still so many memories I want to share with you. So many memories I want you to have and I’m still struggling with what order to send them to you. This time I decided to send some of the numerous times we shared during fifth year. That was the year that we became a couple, a secret couple, but a couple nonetheless. All but one of the memories are from school. They should appear to you in chronological order starting with the first day of classes and moving through the year. Some are pleasant memories and others not so much. Things were never perfect for us but that should be no surprise considering my family. Still we had some wonderful moments. I thought I’d start where the second set of memories left off, well nearly, that first meeting of fifth year. There are two vials and in between Harry has a memory of his own he will share with you, one that apparently relates to me though I’m not in it.

Always yours,  
Draco

 

Harry and Hermione found themselves again in the Hogwarts library, this time outside the little alcove. They could see Draco’s blond head behind the stacks to their right. When they moved to see him more clearly they saw that he was watching down the aisle waiting to see if young Hermione came to meet him as they had agreed to do. He paced a bit, cast a Tempus, and mumbled to himself something about time and not leaving dinner early. Not long after the frizzy haired girl came up the stairs and down the aisle looking over her shoulder as she went.

He stepped out to meet her, pulling aside the curtain of the alcove so that she could enter before him.

“You’re here,” he said.

“I said I would be,” she replied.

“I know, but I wasn’t sure.”

“You came anyway,” she pointed out.

He shrugged, “You may not have heard me, but I said I’d be here too.”

They sat on either end of the couch, neither saying anything for a bit then both speaking at once.

“How was-”

“What did you-”

Both halted and smiled slightly, Draco sat back and gestured to her to speak first.

“How was your first day of classes?”

“Interesting,” he answered, “History was boring as ever. Transfiguration should be good this year. Defense is bound to be boring as well and about useless too. What good is just bookwork and theory going to do? Father always says Minister Fudge is barmy and with this and his denial that Voldemort has returned I have to agree. I don’t think that woman even knows anything about actual Defense. Have you had her yet?”

She grimaced, “Yes, and I agree it’s going to be a waste of a class. We’ve actually learned things the last two years, even considering who was actually teaching us last year, we were getting somewhere. This year I don’t know. We have three classes together tomorrow don’t we?”

“Potions, Runes, and Arithmancy, yes. Potions we obviously will each sit with our own houses but we could sit closer in the other two couldn’t we? There are fewer students in the classes. We don’t have to actually sit next to each other though unless you want to.”

“No, it’s probably better that we don’t at least not right away, or not until we see who else is still in the class.”

He nodded in acceptance.

“What were you going to ask me?”

“I was just going to ask how your summer was, what you did? Did you and your family go anywhere on holiday?”

She sat back on the couch finally relaxing, “Most of my summer was good. We didn’t go anywhere this year just stayed home and spent time together. The last few weeks I was with the Weasleys and Harry. By the way, I didn’t mention it at the Prefect meeting on the train because Ron would have gotten defensive but the twins are going into the joke business. They have several prototypes they’ve been passing around. Just keep your eyes out and if someone gets randomly sick from eating candy and you can’t stop it let me know somehow.”

He laughed, “Those two could rule the world if they only put in the effort they do on pranks and things on schoolwork. Thank Merlin for the rest of us that they don’t, keeps like much more interesting.”

She shook her head, “You’re going to encourage them too?”

“Not outwardly no, that wouldn’t be acceptable, they are Gryffs after all. If I could find a way to invest in them however…”

“They don’t need investors they have Harry.”

“What does that mean?”

She explained about Ludo Bagman, the leprechaun gold, and Harry’s Triwizard winnings. He laughed at first then drifted into a solemn silence.

“I guess I shouldn’t ask about your summer,” she said.

“Not much to tell,” he answered. “Father was in and out of the Manor frequently with others who support Voldemort though I did my best to avoid them and Mother helped. I spent most of my summer in the back garden commiserating with Theo whose father also jumped right back in wholeheartedly. Crabbe and Goyle were around when their fathers were but with them there’s never much talking, especially as they both seem to be following in their dad’s footsteps.”

She didn’t respond to that unsure of what to say, looking out the window instead, “It’s getting late. Even Ron and Harry won’t believe I’m studying this hard on our first full day back.”

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“In class yes.”

“And here?”

She sighed, “If we’re going to keep meeting here we need to talk about how to keep from being discovered. It’s safer for you I’m sure and I just don’t want to deal with Harry or Ron, especially Ron.”

“We already silence the curtain and stick it? What else do we need to do? How else could we be found?”

“We just can't, please trust me on this. I can’t explain how or why it’s not up to me to share that information but we could be found so just see if you can come up with some way for us to be here but not be here ok, and no Polyjuice!” she said emphatically.

He raised an eyebrow at that, “I sense a story there but I’ll just file that away for another time. I’ll see what I can come up with but it’s going to be hard to figure out how not to be found if I don’t know how we would be found.”

She stood up and moved to the curtain, “Just try.”

“I will,” he promised, “it’s good to see you Hermione.”

She bit her lip, “You too,” she said then turned and walked away.

Seconds later the teens were sitting side by side, heads together, over a book on the narrow table in the alcove.

“Disillusionment-” Draco started.

“Won’t work for this,” young Hermione replied, “besides Harry said it feels like you’re freezing the whole time, like you can’t get warm and I hate being cold.”

“Guess I don’t get to ask how he knows that?”

“It was part of his leaving his relatives this summer.”

“After the dementors?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok enough said. So what else have you found?” he asked.

“Nothing really, though I wonder if we made the curtain look like the walls on either side of it, then it would look like we were here but we wouldn’t be found. That doesn’t solve everything but it is a start.”

He sat back and looked at her, “Someday you will explain this to me right?”

“If I can, yes I will.”

“Ok then so we need some sort of charm or maybe we just transfigure the curtain,” he suggested.

“Transfigure, why didn’t I think of that?” 

“You would have, I just beat you to it this time. Here let’s try it,” he stood and directed his wand at the curtain. All four people in the alcove watched it turn to stone.

Young Hermione jumped to her feet, “That’s wonderful!,” she exclaimed and impulsively hugged the blond, then stepped back quickly, bumping into the sofa and falling back onto it.

Draco had frozen at the hug, eyes wide, jaw dropped, he cleared his throat and spoke, “It’s nothing you couldn’t have done. Maybe we should check it from outside too just to be sure.”

She waved her hand, “Oh I don’t think that’s necessary let’s just get back to studying.” With that she slid to the left of the sofa and curled up with her feet to her right between her and his things.

He looked at her for a moment before settling on to his side of the couch and picking up a book.

A few more memories played of the two studying sometimes sitting on either end of the sofa, sometimes sitting bent over the same book or piece of parchment. They flashed by rather quickly until it all slowed again. This time the teen girl was bent over a book reading aloud as Draco made notes, as she continued reading he put down his quill and looked at her, just watching her.

It was only a few minutes later that she looked up from the book to see him looking at her.

“What?” She asked.

“What, what?”

“Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have ink on my face again? Is my hair standing on end? Did I skip lines in the book? What?”

He smiled, “Nothing like that I was just watching you as you read. I like listening to you read. Keep going.”

She looked at him for a few seconds then turned back to the book only reading a few words before stopping, “It’s just too if knowing you're watching me.”

“Okay,” he replied putting his head back on the arm of the couch and closing his eyes, “I won't look at you.”

She shook her head, “I don't know.”

“Hermione please keep reading,” he said without opening his eyes or raising his head.

She sat a little longer watching him, when he didn't move she turned back to her book.

She had read two pages when she peeked at him from the corner of her eye, “I knew it!”

“Sorry,” he said smiling and not sounding sorry at all.

“Malfoy!”

His face fell, “I thought we were on a first name basis now.”

“We are, it's just an old habit,” she defended herself, “Why do you keep looking at me Draco?”

He slid forward to sit closer to her one again and spoke quietly, “I like looking at you. I like you.”

“I like you too,” she said.

He shook his head slightly, “That's not-” here reached out and tucked a lock out her hair that had fallen out of her braid back behind her ear watching her closely.

When she didn't flinch or cringe away from him he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek then gently on the lips pulling back when she stayed perfectly still.

“I'm sorry,” he said sliding over on the sofa as far away from her as he could not looking at her so he didn’t see that she had lifted hand to her mouth, then curled her fingers under her chin and smiled. When she glanced his way he was beginning to pack up his things. She reached out a hand and put it on his arm, he stilled. When his eyes met hers she slid over next to him and leaned closer. He met her partway. This kiss was still gentle but longer and deeper. He slid one hand up along her chin back behind her neck. She placed her arms around his. 

Just as Harry coughed and started to stare at the floor the teens separated both breathing a bit heavier. Young Hermione slid back just a bit sliding her arms down Draco’s until they were holding hands. They gazed into each other’s eyes.

“That was unexpected,” he said.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

He squeezed her hands, “I said I liked you, I didn’t just mean as a friend Hermione. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone you can spend time with in public. You deserve someone who has always treated you well, someone whose family will accept you. I’m nowhere good enough for you and I have almost nothing to offer you but I care for you and if you’re willing to give us a try I promise to do everything I can to keep you happy, to help you whenever you need, to protect you and even your friends if they need it. I promise I will never hurt you on purpose. I’ve been falling for you for a long time now if you need time to catch up I understand or if you simply can’t do this I understand that as well. You should take some time to think.”

With that he moved to continue packing up his things but she held his hands tighter.

“Draco, just give me one moment. You surprised me but it wasn’t unwelcome. We’re already friends and if I’m being honest with you as well as with myself. I’ve felt something other than that. We’ve kept our friendship a secret so a relationship wouldn’t be any different. Except that it would probably be even more important for you so your father doesn’t find out. I don’t need time,” she assured him.

“Please take it anyway,” he pleaded, “just to be sure.”

“Draco, I don’t need it. I’d like to try us,” she smiled at him.

He smiled hesitantly in return, “So will you read to me now or will that still be too strange? I could always read to you.”

She laughed and gave him a small shove, “I’ll read, this time.”

She grabbed the book, opened it back to where she had left off, and curled up next to him with his arm across her shoulders.

“Well that was uncomfortable,” Harry said as they landed back in the present.

“It was really sweet,” Hermione protested.

“For you I’m sure, for me it was awkward. Remember how weird it was to see Ron and Lavender snogging, or Ginny and Dean?” he asked.

“Oh, I see your point. Okay so your memory now?”

He nodded as he traded out the silvery streams in the bowl, “It’s just a short little one but it was something that struck me when Draco told me what he was sending and I’m curious now if you’ll know it at all or if it will be one of the ones that’s just gone.”

“Time to find out,” she replied and in they went.

Harry's memory landed them in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Hermione we're sitting together on a couch near the fireplace; Ron was in the chair next to them. Hermione was studying intently, while the boys alternated between studying and playing.

“Have you been noticed that Malfoy is much quieter this year?” Harry asked.

“I hadn't mate,” Ron replied. “Now that you mention it though, he hasn't said anything to any of us all year. not one comment about my being keeper even when I was sure he’d have something to say. I was sure he’d have the other Slytherins all wound up, but they’ve all been quieter. He wasn’t even at tryouts was he? He would never miss a chance to degrade Gryffindor he must be up to something.”

“I was thinking that too,” Harry agreed. “Hermione, what about you?”

She looked at Harry, “Sorry I didn't catch that. What are you talking about?”

“We think Malfoy is up to something,” Ron told her.

“You always think he’s up to something. Why now?” The adults noticed that she had tensed up just a bit.

“He hasn't said a mean or nasty thing to any of the three of us all year,” Harry said. “Unless he’s said something to you in one of the classes we don't have with you.”

 

“No,” she thought for a moment before replying, “He hasn't said anything to me. Then again even if he had I probably wouldn’t have noticed I've been studying a lot more this year.”

The boys both laughed.

“I didn't think it was possible for you to study more,” Ron said only half joking.

She glared at him, “You may not care, but I intend to get outstanding scores on all of my OWLS. I think I know what I want to do when we're done here but if I’d like to get perfect or near perfect scores in everything case I change my mind.”

“Mione you’re going to be able to do whatever you want,” he reassured her.

 

“Well if you both want to have the option of doing what you want, especially if you want to get into the auror program, you’d better get back to studying,” she scolded.

“Alright, alright,” Harry responded and continued whispering emphatically, “Just keep one eye on Malfoy okay. If he's up to something we need to know it so we can stop him or let the Order know. We know Lucius is in deep with Voldemort, it wouldn’t surprise me if Malfoy is too. I’m sure Voldemort would love to infiltrate Hogwarts again.”

“You know I will,” said Ron.

“Hermione?”

She um hmed noncommittally.

“Mione,” Harry said louder, “you have classes with him we don't. Keep an eye on him okay.”

She rolled her eyes, “I really don't think he's up to anything. He’s probably just studying like I am. But whatever.”

Harry looked at her strangely but finally nodded and went back to his studying as well.

When they were once again standing next to the small table Harry looked at her expectantly, just waiting.

“Well,” he prompted.

“No,” she sighed. “Nothing, That one isn't there at all. Guess it wasn't worth modifying because he wasn't actually in the memory, so it was probably easier to just eliminate it.”

“That is honestly what I expected,” Harry said, “but I guess I hoped for a different answer. Well we have several more memories from Draco. I suggest we sit for the rest as it’s going to take a while and I don’t know about you but bending over this thing is making my back and neck hurt.”

“Maybe you should be doing yoga with me,” she commented but nodded her assent he brought chairs to sit at the table in front of the pensieve. They sat and prepared to go back to the past once more.

They found themselves standing behind the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. The bushy haired girl sat alone over at the Gryffindor table. The only one anywhere near her was Neville. Directly in front of them sat Draco surrounded by several of his friends. While they watched a rather ordinary owl flew in and landed on the table in front of Hermione. She looked up from her plate surprised. She took the package that it had carried, gave it a quick pat on the head, and a nibble from her plate for a treat. As it flew away she untied the string and opened the lid of the box. Whatever was inside made her smile grandly; she ducked her head. Ever so slightly she glanced over at Draco, leaned her head gently to the side, and winked her right eye. She set her fork and knife on her plate along with her napkin then she retired the string on the box, looked again at Draco, and walked casually out of the room.

Draco looked at his table mates to see if they had noticed anything out of the ordinary when none of them reacted, he said, “I don't know what's taking you all so long but and I need to get some studying done,” with that he slowly stood, leisurely slung his bag over his shoulder, and strolled from the hall. Once outside he continued walking slowly not wanting to seem in a rush. There was confusion on his face.

“Where are we going?” hissed Harry.

“Well he's obviously trying to follow her...me...whatever,” she hissed back.

“How does he know where she's going?”

“I don't think he does,” she commented pointing at the boy standing for a moment in the hallway as if he were looking at a painting.They could see that his eyes were drifting from side to side. Finally he nodded, turned to the right, and set off down a hallway. They came to the door of a deserted classroom, an unused classroom; he peeked inside and smiled before opening the door. All three walked in, the girl sat on the desk beside her sat the now open box and the older two could see that there was a cake inside.

 

“My birthday,” Hermione whispered.

“Looks like it,” Harry replied.

“I thought I might find you here,” said Draco.

“I can’t believe you sent me a birthday cake. How did you even know it was my birthday?”

 

“I'm just good that way,” Draco teased.

She rolled her eyes, “Fine don't tell me. I don't have to share my cake.”

“Okay okay,” he said. “That's not fair. I overheard Potter and Weasley muttering about what to get you for your birthday and arguing about the date.”

Again she rolled her eyes, “well they must have gotten it wrong because I haven't gotten anything from them yet.”

“No, Potter had it right anyway. Maybe they're just waiting to surprise you with something.”

“You really overheard Harry and Ron?” She raise one eyebrow in disbelief.

He nodded, “Of course I didn't actually believe what I heard until I saw you open that package this morning at breakfast. I assumed it was from your parents”  
.  
“Yes,” she said. “You ordered this cake since this morning?”

He smiled in response.

Her head shook, “I always forget just how fast things can work in the Magical World.”

“So are you going to share your cake with me? You really don’t have to. Should I sing you happy birthday before you try it?”

She thought for a moment, “I’ll share the cake but you definitely need to sing to me and there has to be a candle so I can blow it out and make a wish.”

“He put his bag down on the floor, pulled out a candle, placed it in the center of the cake and used his wand to light it. Then he sang to her as she sat and smiled hands clasped in front of her mouth. When he finished. She leaned over, closed her eyes, and blew out the candle.

“So what did you wish for?” he asked with a wink.

She gave him a playful slap on the arm, “You know I can't tell you, or it won’t come true.”

“You don't have to.”

“And I won't,” she used her wand to split the cake into pieces, offered him one, then took one herself, and they sat quietly eating. As she finished her piece she tilted her head to the right and peered at him through half closed eyes. 

“What?” He said.

“Oh nothing,” she replied sliding off the desk and stepping over to him. “You just have a touch of icing right here.” She leaned in and kissed him as the mists began to swirl yet again.

They found themselves in a hallway somewhere in the lower levels of the school between the potions classroom and Slytherin. Draco stood at a door and knocked.

“Come in,” called a voice from within, a very familiar voice. When Harry and Hermione followed Draco in they saw Snape sitting at a desk in the corner of the room.

“This must be his quarters,” she whispered to her companion.

“I guess,” he replied, “it’s not like I’ve ever seen them.”

“You wanted to see me Sev,” Draco said.

“Yes,” Snape replied, “come in and sit down.”

He gestured to a pair of chairs sitting near a low coffee table in front of a small fireplace and then moved to join the boy. Before saying anything else the older man offered the teen a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit.

“What is this about?” Draco asked worriedly. “Has one of my grades dropped?”

“On the contrary,” Snape replied, “they’re higher than they’ve ever been. You are so close in scores to Miss Granger that it is nearly impossible to place either of you higher than the other, especially as you are in all of the same classes.”

Draco smiled and relaxed a touch, “That’s good to know. She’s beaten me every year so far, maybe this year I can sneak past her.”

Snape looked at the boy he had known for so long, took a sip of his tea, then continued, “It’s interesting really. You and Miss Granger are the only two to find the more rare uses of knotgrass for potions. I expect it from her and she is exhausting when it comes to research and her need to know everything and show that she knows it.”

Draco grimaced at that comment and quickly ate a bit of his biscuit to try and hide his reaction but not before his Head of House had seen it.

“And,” the man spoke lazily, “while you have always been an excellent student you have never put in so much effort before.”

The teen fought not to be disrespectful or snappish as he replied, “Is there a problem with my putting in more effort? I thought you would appreciate it.”

“I do, I do,” Severus reassured him, “I am simply curious what brought this about. Has your father said something to you that has inspired you to work harder?”

“No, nothing different than he usually says that is. You know I didn’t see much of him this summer.”

“Ah, yes, we all have expectations placed on us that we have to fulfill, some more willingly than others. So what is it that has brought about this change in you? Have you found a new study partner perchance?”

“I just want to do well on my OWLS this year. I need to do well and not just for my father but for myself. I’ve been lazy the past few years, spending time on things that were a waste of my time and talents.”

“This doesn’t mean you’ll be quitting Quidditch I hope. You may have won your spot second year through your father’s generosity, but you kept it through your own abilities. You are one of the best Seekers we’ve had in the house in many years.”

Draco finished his tea and place the cup and saucer on the table, “No, I’m still playing. I’m determined to beat Potter and those Gryffindors.”

Snape nodded, “You didn’t answer my previous question. Have you found a new study partner?”

“Does that really matter? As long as I’m doing my best does it matter?” The words came out a bit tighter as he replied.

“Not as long as you are careful.”

“Alright Severus, what are you hinting at?”

The potions professor put his cup and saucer on the table with Draco’s and leaned forward, “While your work is excellent as ever, especially in my class, your attention seems to drift more and more to the other side of the room, and not to Potter.”

The teen squirmed some in his chair, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he insisted.

“The same attention is being paid to you, even more so over the past few days. I feel it necessary to warn you to be very careful Draco.”

“About who I spend my time with? It’s none of your business.’

“Quiet child! No, I am not admonishing you for your choices, merely saying be aware of who sees you, who is watching you. The Dark Lord has eyes everywhere. He is already unhappy with several of his followers for not seeking him out, not coming to him sooner, see that you don’t give him reason to take out his anger on you or your family,” Snape spoke very low as if he was afraid of being overheard in his own room.

“I won’t stop seeing her!” Draco said with all the petulance of a three year old asked to share their favorite toy against their wishes.

The man sighed and sat back in his chair closing his eyes, “That is NOT what I said. I simply said be careful who sees you.”

“Are we done?”

“Not yet. Once many years ago when I was in school here, there was a girl I liked a great deal. I made some foolish mistakes, and some foolhardy choices. I lost her and have regretted it every day since. Do not do the same. If you truly care for her, don’t let go, don’t give up! Unless it is for her own safety as it very well may come to be but be sure she knows that that is the reason.”

Draco sat motionless for thirty seconds before replying, “You’re encouraging me?”

“Yes, though that is between you and me, and I supposed the girl as you will no doubt tell her. I think Draco it is time for you to begin training in Occlumency and that is to be kept strictly between you and me, ne exceptions, is that understood.”

“Yes sir.”

“Then you may go for now. I will contact you when I work out a time for private lessons, give whomever you need whatever excuse you need so long as you don’t tell the truth.”

Draco stood and moved to the door, just before leaving he turned to look over his shoulder and said, “Thank you Severus.”

A nod was the man’s only reply.

The two adults trailed behind the boy as he walked out of the dungeons, up the stairs, and to the library alcove where young Hermione waited.

“So what did he say?” she asked.

“He knows.”

Fear spread across her face, “About us? How? We’ve been so careful.”

“Not careful enough I guess,” he answered sitting down next to her and twining his fingers through hers. “We both mentioned the rare uses of knotgrass in our last potions essay, the ones we discovered in that old book you found.”

“Why didn’t we think of that?” she groaned.

“He’s also noticed us watching each other in class when we thought no one was looking.”

She blushed, “I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

“I’m surprised Potter and Weasley haven’t said anything to you about it,” he remarked.

“Not likely,” she said, “other than to ask if I noticed you doing anything suspicious. They’re convinced you’re up to something and if they ever catch you looking our direction I’m sure they think you’re just plotting something against them or us.”

“What makes them think I’m up to something?”

“For starters you’ve been really quiet this year. You haven’t harassed them once, or said anything nasty to them or to me. You didn’t go to their Quidditch trials and annoy them then or later.”

“I heard Weasley didn’t have the best of try outs, but it doesn’t sound as if he’s awful, besides with Potter as their Seeker they almost don’t need anyone else on the team. Games ending like last year’s World Cup are unusual especially school games.”

“Okay even I have to admit, that that statement from you is strange.”

“It may be, it’s the truth though. I don't know, with everything going on in our world right now, it's just not worth it. What's the point in bothering them, picking on them, harassing them?”

“I could ask you the same thing about the past several years,” she said.

“True, I guess it just took a little perspective shift,” he answered.

“You know it's a really sad statement that it took someone dying and Voldemort returning for you to have a perspective shift.”

“I know, I know,” he ducked his head, “I'm not proud of myself and I can make plenty of excuses about my family and how I was raised but it is what it is. It could have been worse. I could have not changed at all. I could still be seeing things as I always have.”

“No, you're right. You really have changed and I'm glad. I think it's a good thing. It's a good that you saw what happened and you believed it and you changed. You said Theo doesn't feel the same way either, what about Pansy and Blaise?”

“Blaise is all about Blaise. He’ll do whatever it will take for him to survive, to stay safe. That's what he'll do. I expect if it gets really bad. If it truly come to a way I don’t think he’ll take a side either way. I wouldn't be surprised if he and his mother leave the country actually. Unless of course she's picked up another new husband, one that is a Dark Lord supporter. Pansy on the other hand I don't know. I don't think she truly believes in what all that Pureblood stuff and supporting Voldemort, but I don't see her fighting against him either though because her family does support him, it’s not easy to go against your parents beliefs.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sure you’ve had your own struggles with that this year. Have any of your housemates changed their mind the way they're thinking because of what happened to Cedric? I know Harry is not widely liked there and the Ministry has done there best to discredit him, but more of your housemates would know from their families that it’s true, not that there aren’t those in other houses that might.”

“Oh I know that our house has more people that know the truth than any other, must be nice for some of those others to be able to live in ignorance. It does makes you stop and think,” he said. “Theo was definitely affected by it. He’s more sensitive than most of us and we've actually talked about it. I think with Blaise it did move him even more to the middle. Cedric dying might be the reason that Pansy isn’t so outspoken about it. Seeing someone you know, even if not closely you know them, seeing their body and knowing how it happened, it shakes you up. Especially when it was just so unnecessary, Cedric was a Pureblood. Voldemort is supposed to favor us and yet he killed Cedric because he was there. I don’t know Pansy is not like Crabbe or Goyle that fully support the cause but like Blaze she’ll protect herself first. We Slytherins tend to be pragmatic.”

“We've got off topic. That's my fault I'm sorry. We didn’t need to have this conversation. You should never feel it necessary to defend your friends to me.”

“That's okay. I can understand why you want know. What should we do about your two buddies thinking I'm up to something? I could always start to tease them you know just like old times. That should get them off the hunt for whatever mysterious thing they think I’m doing.”

Hermione rolled her eyes, “At this point I don’t think that would really change anything. Who knows it might make them more suspicious because it starts so suddenly after you being quiet for so long now.”

“Do you want to tell Potter? Maybe if you tell him about us, he'll understand and stop worrying.”

“Are you kidding?” Hermione guffawed, “that'll make it worse than ever. There's no way he'll believe I actually care for you, that we're friends. He’ll think you've done something to me.”

“You're right. It was just the only thing I could think of. Besides you'd probably happier if you could tell someone wouldn't you?”

“It would be nice to be able to talk to someone but no one I know would understand. It's okay we can always talk to each other.”

“As long as you're sure. You could always invite Potter to one of our study session.”

“No, he would never come alone. He’d bring Ron and even if he didn't I don't want him intruding on this time with you.

“Well if that is settled then I suppose we should get to work on those charms essays. This time though if we find some obscure facts, maybe we should split them up and not use the same ones. Let’s keep the other professors in the dark.”

“Good idea,” she said. The two put their heads together and got back to work.

When time had again finished shifting, Harry and Hermione found themselves in corner of the library at the lone table amid the dusty books on the old shelves where they had first seen young Draco and Hermione studying together. The two sat at either end of the table with the center chair once more empty between them. They were alternating between studying and scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment. When the adults saw that the parchment was being passed back and forth between the teens they moved to stand behind them read what was being written as not a word was being said.

Draco - Why are we studying here and like this instead of in our alcove.

_Hermione - Just trying to avoid issues with Umbridge_

What happened on the Hogsmeade trip it was right after that that we got this stupid educational decree from Umbridge about not having any groups or teams without approval?

_What makes you think it had anything to do with the Hogsmeade trip?_

Most of you Gryffindor's were nowhere in sight. Several students from other houses for missing too. Mine noticeably excluded, I happened to wander past the Hog’s Head and peek in the window. There were a whole lot of Hogwarts students there including you. What was going on?

_It was nothing. We just wanted to get away from all the busy places, have some peace and quiet to hang out together._  
.  
But why? You know I won't tell anyone hi missing from me. 

_There's a group of us that are really worried about what we're not learning we decided to get together if we could learn practical things together_

and somehow Umbridge found out. You need to be more careful. You know people in this school can't keep their mouths shut.

_We weren't doing anything against the rules and no one in that group has said a word, or I'd know._

I believe you. Someone else must have said something. Weren't there other people in the Hog’s Head? Do you know who any of them were? You never know who could be a spy for the ministry.

_There were only a few others. We sat away from them and none of them were paying us any attention. What are we going to do about continuing to meet to study? I don't know if she'll count two people as a study group and we need to avoid getting in trouble._

I hardly think two people count as a study group. If you're really worried, we could probably get Snape to write us a note of approval.

_I think it's better if we don't get him involved. How do you think Umbridge is tracking students? Seeing where we all are?_

I don't know how that would work. There may be some sort of location spell she could use, but if there is how do we hide from it.

_If we were in a place that was unplottable would she be able to see us there? If the place can't be found, could we be found?_

That might work. I don't know how to make something unplottable though do you?

_No I don't. I'm sure we can find it somewhere here in the library. In the meantime, we can keep meeting like this as long as we keep this chair between us oh, and each keep looking at our own things and don't talk we should be okay. As soon as we figure out how to make something unplottable we can do that to that little alcove._

sounds like a plan but let’s look fast I hate sitting here with you and not being able to talk to you. Wait how are we going to know if we succeed in making that spot unplottable?

_We’ll have to see if we can make a magical map of Hogwarts, one that can show us all the rooms._

Yeah, that sounds easy.

_We can do it. I can research it if you’d like._

At this point Harry turned to Hermione, “This is why you wanted to borrow the map, you were trying to create your own version.”

“I borrowed the map? I don’t remember that. What did I tell you?” she asked.

“I’m pretty sure you mumbled something about checking on first years, seeing if you could make a map like it that showed all the staircases and things for them so they wouldn’t get lost.”

She shrugged, “Nope, don’t remember doing that but you have to admit it’s a good idea.”

He shrugged, “I guess as long as you leave off all the people.”

“No that would be a definite, it’s too easy to become obsessed with following people then,” she gave him a small playful shove.

Time had clearly passed as it had been previously very light in the library and now it was quite dark with light coming from sconces on the walls and magical ceilings. The two teens were sitting in their same places at the lone table in the corner. The only clues it was a new day and not simply later the same day were the stacks of books that had changed, Hermione's hair now bundled into a messy bun on the back of her head, and Draco's broom on the floor next to the table as if he had come straight from Quidditch practice. The space was still absolutely quiet other than the occasional rustle of the parchment as it passed between them.

Have you figured out how to make our little area unplottable? I’m getting tired of communicating this way.

_I'm working on it. I have a few ideas, but nothing I'm certain yet. Have you found anything?_

I’ve found one or two spells that might work. I'm thinking it might be a combination of spells or charms and not just one by itself.

_That’s what I was thinking too. We may have to try different combinations._

We still won't know if it works. Unless you come up with a solution.

_I found some books here in the library I've looked through them, but haven't had time to really study them. I think it will work one of two ways once we get a map made. First we try the spells or charms and if it works we’ll see the room disappear from the map. The other option is to make a new map and compare it to the old and see if the room is on it. I think we can make a map of just the library so that should simplify the process._

The first option sounds much less time consuming I hope it works.

_We may have to try both just to be on the safe side._

When do you want start trying?

_Saturday afternoon would work. I should have the map done by then._

Potter and Weasley won't wonder where you are on a Saturday afternoon?

_They have Quidditch practice for hours, they won’t even know I haven’t just been studying in the tower._

What time and where?

_In our alcove. I think we can risk it. Umbridge should be busy enough watching out for the approved groups._

I’ll be there.

Seconds later it was clearly Saturday as Harry and Hermione found themselves in the small alcove once more with young Draco and young Hermione. She took a roll of parchment out of her bag and laid it on the narrow table in front of them. They unrolled it and placed inkwells on each corner to hold it in place

“This is amazing!” Draco said as he looked over the map, “You have everything on here. Every bookshelf, every table, every corner, how did you do that?”

“I found this book, she pulled a thin volume out of her bag and handed it to him.

“Magical Map Making? Subtle title,” Draco laughed, “how did you find this?”

“I just accioed it,” she replied.

“Accio? I've never thought to use that here in the library. So simple, I guess I just never thought of it.”

Some things are just habit, like combing the shelves for a book. Just so you know it doesn't work on every book. Some bookshelves are charmed not to responded as are some books, I think on purpose so no one gets hit by flying books.”

“Good point,” he said. “I’m still going to try it in the future before I get up and go wandering. So now what?”

“So now we try a couple of combinations. I couldn't find an actual spell to make a place unplottable which is really frustrating because we know it exists. Hogwarts itself is unplottable on Muggle maps, of course it’s also muggle repelling.”

“And the Room of Requirement on the Marauder's Map,” Harry whispered to the woman at his side who nodded and held a finger to her lips. 

“I made a list of all the possible charms and spells that I found,” the girl said. “What did you come up with?”

The teens huddles over two small pieces of parchment comparing notes and muttering. One would point to a line, the other would nod or shake their head and then the process reversed.

Harry and Hermione only caught snatches of this conversation, “Disillusionment...evanesco...fidelius...obscuro...repello… something like homenum revelio.”

This went on for several minutes. Finally they both nodded.

“So if we do this in tandem at exactly the same time,” the fifteen year old Hermione said. “We should both still be able to find the room.”

“I'm not sure we even need to do it at the same time, or even both need to be part of the casting. I think we just need to both to be here when it happens. When a location is made secret all it takes someone to be told about it by the Secret Keeper and they can see it.”

“You’re probably right, but just to be on the safe side we’ll do it together,” she insisted.

“Agreed.” 

They stood and took out their wands, both spoke at the same time quietly casting multiple spells and moving their wands in complicated movements. When their hands dropped to their sides their eyes dropped to the map and they dropped to the couch.

“It’s gone,” he said in amazement. “We did it!”

“Hold on let me make a new map, maybe being in here with us as we cast the spells affected it. Actually I should go outside to do it, just to be safe. While I’m out there I’ll case a revealing spell and see if it detects you or the room.”

She left the room, everyone inside stayed silent and listened, they couldn’t hear her. When she came back in she was smiling broadly.

“It worked. Only we will know this is here, and for now only we have access to this space. Well house elves might their magic works differently but I don’t think we have to worry about them. Umbridge is too superior to think of using what she would see as a lesser creature to do any work for her other than their normal chores. We’re safe.” she sighed.


	12. Chapter 12

“I'd like to see you over Christmas,” he said to her. “Do you think we can do that?” 

She chewed her lip lightly as she thought, “Well, I'm starting the holiday with my parents. I'll spend a few days there, then head off to the Burrow to spend time with Harry and Ron and Ron’s family.”

“The Burrow?” Harry smirked.

“Hush, obviously she...I… whatever, couldn’t tell him the truth. Besides didn’t we plan on meeting there?”

“I don’t remember.”

The girl was still speaking, “While I'm with my parents, I could possibly get away for a few hours and meet you somewhere. You won’t want to meet in the Wizarding world anyway so that we’re not seen together. Would you be okay with meeting somewhere in a muggle Cafe maybe?”

“As long as you're there to help me I’ll be fine. When are you going to the Weasleys?”

“My family does presents on Christmas Eve,” she said. “I'll be going to meet with Harry and the Weasleys on Christmas Day, at least that’s the plan right now.” 

“So could we meet meet on the 23rd?”

“How will you get away?” 

“Oh that'll be easy enough. I'll just tell my mother and Lucius that I'm running to Diagon Alley to pick up a few last-minute gifts. I'll stop there too just to be sure I’m seen by someone there. I could always meet with Blaise or Theo first before I meet you.”

“So we need to meet somewhere close,” she said. “Close enough that you can walk and get there without taking too long, but far enough away that any witch or wizard that happens to be in the Muggle World won't see us together. I suppose I could always meet you somewhere and take you on the Underground to some place a stop or two away.”

“Whatever you think will work best.”

“Let me think about it for a bit, and I'll give you a location to meet me you just tell me what time.”

“What time of day would we be the least noticed?”

“On the 23rd?” She laughed, “Nearly any time I would think. However, if we want to be able to actually hear each other I’d suggest a little after lunch time.”

“So maybe around 1?”

“That sounds good.”

“I'll let you know where to meet me before we get on the train.”

The next memory found them in what appeared to be the arithmancy classroom. It was very short, just long enough for the two adults to see the two teens swap a small piece of parchment. Neither could get a glance at it, but were both sure it was the place where the young lovebirds were going to meet on their break.

The Leaky Cauldron materialized around them and they saw the bright blond head of Draco standing with a nervous look on his face in the hallway that led back to the entrance to Diagon. He peered into the room and he pulled at his robes looking down at them questioningly. His face lit up when he saw young Hermione walking towards him. She said not a word, merely dropped a bag in front of him as she stepped into the ladies room. He picked up the bag and looked inside then stepped into the men's room. 

Not long after young Hermione came out of the ladies’ room and walked straight out of the Leaky. It was only a few moments later that Draco did the same walking with is chin down the whole way. The older two followed him. They walked three blocks north, turned to the right, and walked an additional two blocks, then ducked into a small alley. As he walked down the street from the Leaky Draco had removed his robe rolled it up and put it in the bag Hermione had dropped at his feet. Underneath the robe he had been wearing a pair of dark denims with a white button down shirt and a navy blazer. When he reached the corner and met bushy hair girl she gestured to take the bag from him and added it to the one she was carrying then held out her hand. He entwined his fingers with hers. They walked another two blocks to a small tea shop peering in before they entered. They took a table in the back corner of the room where they could see the door and everyone who entered or exited.

 

When a waitress had come by and taken their order for tea and biscuits Draco relaxed a bit leaned over and gave Hermione a quick kiss before sitting back in his chair.

 

“What's wrong?” She asked him. 

“I hadn't really thought this through fully when I suggested it. I hadn’t thought about how I would look entering another world dressed the way we do. I hadn’t thought that someone might see me leave the Leaky.”

“Do you think you were seen?”

 

“I don't know,” he replied. “I wasn’t looking. I was just trying to get out of there quickly.” 

She placed her hand on his forearm, “I wouldn't worry about it too much. It was very busy in there but most everyone was looking at their own things. This time of year everyone's worried about themselves and their shopping. If you’re worried about being seen and it getting back to your parents before you go back in, we could always cast a quick charm to change your hair color.” 

“You know how to do that?”

 

“I haven't tried it,” she replied, “but I know the theory and the incantation. We can try it before you go back through the Leaky.” 

“No offense but…” he trailed off. 

“What if I get it wrong?” 

“Not that I think you would, but what if I couldn’t reverse it? I don't want to have to explain it to my parents.”

 

“I'll try it myself first,” she offered. “It's not completely unheard of for Muggles to have crazy colored hair. My parents will be wondering why it took so long for me to have a teenage rebellion, that or they’ll just think I made a mistake trying something new.”

“I don't want to ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask; I offered.”

The waitress approached with their order. Each took a biscuit from the plate and a sip of their tea.

“Wait,” Draco said, “we can’t do the charm.”

“Why?” She asked, “no, wait, that was so obvious. We’re on a school break and not in a place where that would go unnoticed. The Ministry would have a fit, Harry is proof of that, twice now they’ve gotten on to him.”

“Speaking of Potter, he and the Weasleys disappeared right before break. Is everything all right?”

“I don’t know for sure. I think so, but something happened. Don’t ask me what, I don’t know.”

“And if you did, you wouldn’t tell me,” he guessed.

“Maybe, maybe not, it would depend on what it was about,” she replied honestly.

He nodded, “I can respect that. So how has your break been so far? You didn’t have to sit alone on the train did you? You know I’d come sit with you if I could.”

She patted his hand, “I know you would. When I sat in the cabin I had Luna and Neville to keep me company, but with Ron not there I did more rounds of the train to cover his prefect duties as well as my own. You know you really should do more yourself,” she scolded lightly.

“I know, maybe on the way back we can schedule our duties at the same time. I’ve heard there is a small closet in the third car that’s empty,” he nuzzled her neck.

“Draco,” she pulled away, “stop.”

“Yes please,” said Harry hopping away from the hand that flew in at his arm.

“What?” he asked, “Do you know any of these people?”

“No, but it’s just not right and it’s a good way to draw attention to us. It’s not like it’s Valentine’s Day and everyone is doing it.”

“Okay fine, but you’re going to meet me on the train right?”

Her cheeks turned a dark crimson but she attempted to answer flippantly, “Well I suppose if I can’t find anything else to do I just might find myself wandering the halls checking out all of the compartments and other doors and who knows what I would find and need to investigate.”

“That’s my girl,” he smirked taking a big bite of a stocking shaped biscuit and getting red icing all over his mouth.

She began giggling and quickly passed him a napkin and the compact mirror from her purse, “How has it been at your house?” 

 

“Mother is pretending nothing has changed and treating Christmas as we always have though the ball tomorrow night will be smaller and I worry about who will show up. I know Blaise, Pansy, and Theo will be there to keep me company but I wish you could be there.”

“If things were different I’d be with you in a heartbeat but we both know it isn’t safe.”

“So why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep seeing each other when it’s not safe? When it’s such a bad idea?”

“Because neither of us is the type to let others dictate what we can or can’t do if we disagree with their choices. We’re fighting back in our own way, and with everything happening we refuse to give up something that makes us happy,” she answered.

“Really I’m just too selfish,” he replied, “if I weren’t I’d never have made a move towards you. We could both wind up dead for this, for just being an us.”

“It hasn’t come to anything that bad yet,” she protested. “It might not ever come to that.”

“You don’t really believe that,” he said. “We both know it happened that way last time and it looks like it’s headed that way again.”

She frowned, “Maybe something will happen and it will all end before the body count gets any higher.”

He put his arms around her and pulled her close, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to bring us down. We’ve been having such a nice time.”

“It’s not your fault,” she reassured him as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I asked the question. Let’s just agree to focus on now, one day at a time and enjoy every chance we get to be together.”

“Good plan,” he kissed her cheek. “Oh! I have something for you, just a second.”

He reached for the bag holding his robe and carefully rummaged through it finally pulling out a small white box with a red and green bow on top.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she said, “but I also have something for you.”

She pulled a small wrapped package from her bag and passed it over to him.

“You first,” he said.

She laughed and suggested, “How about we open them at the same time.”

He tore the paper while she lifted the lid of the box.

“Oh Draco. It’s beautiful, it’s too much though.”

“Nonsense, it’s really not much at all,” he said putting down his present and lifting the chain from the small box she was holding, as he fastened it around her neck the other two could see that it was a gold chain with a small oval sapphire pendant surrounded by tiny diamond chips. “I hope you like sapphires. I thought it was appropriate as it’s your birthstone.”

“I love it! Thank you!” she kissed him seeming to forget that it was she who had told him that they shouldn’t be doing that here. “Now finish opening yours.”

He pulled the rest of the paper off and held in his hand a thin book, “William Shakespeare? That name sounds familiar.”

“He is one of the most famous writers in the world, long dead mind you, but still incredibly popular.”

“How long? Was it before the Statute?”

“Yes.”

“And he’s from here, from the UK right?”

“Yes.”

“Ok so that’s why I’ve heard of him. I think Mother may have a volume of his writing somewhere or maybe it was Blaise’s mother that had it. I know I’ve seen the name before. So what is this book exactly?”

“This is a collection of some of his sonnets, poetry. He also wrote a number of plays that are still performed today but I couldn’t decide which one would be best to introduce you to his writing. This seemed a better start. If you can’t take it home, I understand. I can hold it for you until we’re back at school,” she said.

“No,” he said quickly, “I have just the place to put this. Thank you!”

Hermione looked at her watch, “We should probably be going.”

“What time is it?” Draco asked.

“2:30,” she answered.

“I hate to do it, but you're right.”

Hermione signaled for the waitress. They asked for the check when it came she pulled out the money to pay the bill. Draco protested but she told him if he was really concerned he could pay her back later. She’d tell him what the exchange rate was, but she really wasn't worried about it. This time could be her treat. They gather their things and headed for the door. As they walked away down the sidewalk hand in hand the mysts rose again. 

“So,” he began. “Any of that ring any bells? Any of it familiar?”

“I wish it were,” she said. “Absolutely none of that is here in my head.”

“Somehow I didn't think you'd have any of those memories simply modified. I figured they’d all be gone. Were you able to hear her thoughts at all?”

Hermione shook her head and commented, “It seems odd to refer to the girl we see as her when we know it's me.”

“It does, but I don't know what else to say.It's like watching a movie. It’s you but it's not. It doesn't seem right to say you when we’re talking about that version of you. She or her just makes more sense.”

“No I know,” she said. “I know it's me but it's so odd. I think I'm going to take some time and just think about everything we just watched. I’m guessing the next time will be the rest of fifth year.”

“He originally planned on sending the whole year at once but decided it was too much so I think the rest of the year should be next, though he could change his mind. Maybe he'll think of something else that could cause a reaction in your head, a memory with all of us in it again. ”

“I don't know,” she said. “I’d really rather just keep going and finish the year. I think it would make more sense.”

“It might, it seems that that's the year that you had the most memories of him so it’s the one that had the most removed. Before you disappear, I have something here for you something of yours and something from Draco.”

He gave her a small roll of parchment. Inside was the necklace they had seen her younger self receive only a few minutes before and written on the parchment were three words: Remember me, Hermione


	13. Chapter 13

12/5/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: not much to say   
Draco,   
I told Harry not to bother messaging you this time as nothing happened. I was touched to see the birthday cake and the necklace. I'm wearing it now. Maybe it’s due to the fact that so much of that year was missing but nothing happened this time. It’s more frustrating than even because I don’t even know how much is gone. When I think about fifth year there are no gaps in what I recall. Anyway I’m going to wait to view them again this time. It was just so much I want to take some time, try and find a way to just view a few at a time. It’s possible that if I allow my brain a bit of time and less input at once that I’ll remember something or at least make a connection somehow. In the meantime have I ever told you how I was able to make the map other than using the book that I found? I suppose at this point it's fair for me to tell you and Harry says he doesn't care anymore.  
Hermione

 

12/5/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: you’re welcome  
Hermione,  
I won't say I'm not disappointed that you didn't get anything from those memories, but I'm not surprised. Maybe something in the second term of the year will be do something. I didn't know if you would still have the necklace though I hoped that you would. No, you never told me anything else about the map and if there's a story with it that involves Potter I think I need to hear it. You also never told me the Polyjuice story. I’d be curious if you still remember it, I suppose that depends on whether or not I was involved. If you remember it I’d like to hear it.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

12/7/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: storytime again  
Draco,   
First I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner but work as absolutely maddening yesterday and I just didn’t get a break and had to bring things home with me. Next I do remember the Polyjuice at least some of it I’ll explain but I think I'll start with the map because that one's not embarrassing. Harry’s father and his three best friends Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew made a map of Hogwarts. Not just any map but one that shows every single person in the building and where they are. The only time you can't find them is when they are in a room that isn’t on the map because it’s an area that is unplottable like the Room of Requirement, or a room that they didn't know about when they made the map like the Chamber of Secrets. Apparently Filch took it from them at some point and held onto it. The twins spotted it when they were in his office after being caught doing who knows what but they swiped it for themselves. Somehow they figured out the secret phrases to get it to work and to essentially wipe it clean. They gave it to Harry third year and we used it for the rest of school. It was a great way to keep from getting caught in the corridors when we weren't supposed to be there and for finding people we were trying to watch. That was how I figured if we made our little alcove unplottable we wouldn’t be able to be found. No this isn’t a memory, it’s an assumption based on what I do remember and your memories I’ve viewed so far but I’d say it's a safe guess. I think I probably also made that suggestion so that Harry couldn't see that you and I were sitting together in the library.

 

Okay so on to the Polyjuice. It was second year. I remember making it and I remember what happened when I took it. I remember why we made it too. We were sure we knew who the Heir of Slytherin was and wanted to try and get a confession out of them and find out where the Chamber of Secrets was. In my memory it was Theo, which makes some sense since his father was a Death Eater. I'll have to ask Harry to see his memory of the time, but I bet it was actually you. Anyway, I had found moaning Myrtle's bathroom and knew that no one went in there so we were able to use it brew up the potion. We were each going to take some containing the hair of Slytherin students from our year. Harry and Ron took Crabbe and Goyle’s place, and I was to take Millicent Bulstrode’s. It didn’t quite work out that way, at least not for me. I had taken a hair off of her robes during Dueling Club but it must have belonged to her cat. I had fur, and ears, and a tail. I had a tail. It was awful. Thank Merlin Madame Pomfrey rarely asked questions. 

So those are the stories. I’ll be interested to hear what you have to say about the map and not so much so to hear your reaction to the polyjuice. Harry returned the necklace to me, apparently he had been asked to find it and take it away after my memories had been erased/modified.  
Hermione

 

12/10/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: speechless  
Hermione,

It’s been three days since I read your last email and I’m still at a loss on what to say. I confess I did laugh at the thought of you with a tail and I apologize, how were you to know that Millie was cat crazy. She attracted them like flies to honey. I think at some point every single cat in the house made their way to her room, it drove Pansy mad. She hated the fur all over everything. Still does, I’ve no idea why she choose to take a flat with Millie knowing there would always be cats and kneazles around.

As for your guess that it was me you all suspected of being the Heir I’m sure it was. I don’t recall any time that Crabbe or Goyle acted out of character but then they were never the brightest so it would be hard to tell the difference.

The map...the map… still don’t know what to say about that. Part of me is just furious though that’s ridiculous as this is all well and done. Part of me is just in awe of Potter’s father and his friends, leave it to the Weasley twins to find it, figure it out, and put it to their own nefarious purposes. Speaking of the twins, I almost hesitate to ask this for many reasons most as yet unknown to you, but how is George? 

There’s really nothing else I can say after that is there?

Always yours,  
Draco

 

12/11/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: thoughtful of you to ask  
Draco,  
No matter your reasons for hesitating it shows great thought of others that you would ask after George. He is doing well these days, at least he is doing better than he was. He is working steadily but not overworking as he fell prey to do in the months after the final battle. He’s spending time with the family again no longer hiding out. He’s even started inventing again. Everyone makes a point of stopping in to see him every week or so just to check in on him. They do the same for Molly, well everyone but me. She’s not so happy with me. I suppose that’s only natural for a mother when someone has hurt one of her children.

Do you have plans for Christmas this year? I hope that you won’t be alone.   
Hermione

 

12/13/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: no worries   
Hermione,  
Mother is coming to spend Christmas to New Year’s with me. Terry invited us to join his family but we’re staying in New Orleans. I’m going to show her around the city both the magical and Muggle sides. We’ll have Christmas Eve and Christmas morning to ourselves and then we’re going to Martha’s for Christmas dinner. I appreciate that you asked though. I don’t know how much time I’ll have to respond over the next few weeks as Martha is planning on closing the shop at the end of the day on the 23rd and not reopening until January 3rd. We’re in a rush making as many potions as we can for those needing to stock up for that time. We’ve all been going in early and staying late between that and Mother’s visit I may not have much time. I’m actually going to sign off now and head to bed. If you don’t hear from me, or if what I send is really short now you know why and I apologize in advance.  
Always yours  
Draco

 

12/14/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: thank you  
Draco,  
Thank you for letting me know. Things are a bit nutters here as it seems the Ministry runs on a skeleton staff from Christmas to New Year’s and as I’m the newest in my department I get to work that time so I’ll also be scarce. If I don’t get a chance before then I just want to say Happy Christmas! Have a wonderful visit with your mother.  
Hermione

 

12/13/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: no worries   
Hermione,  
Then in case I don’t get a chance to tell you Happy Christmas! I hope you enjoy your time with your family and can get a lot of work done while everyone else is out of the office.  
Always yours,  
Draco


	14. Ch 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, two months since the last update, sorry. My plan was to use summer break to write like crazy, yeah that didn't happen instead I crocheted my fingers to the bone. My brain seems to only want to concentrate on one creative pursuit at a time. So I'm back to writing now, determined to finish this story before this years NaNoWriMo bc I already have a plan for it and I hate leaving a story unwritten. I really need the deadline. I'll do my best to update regularly until this is done.

12/18/99

Hermione,

Here my love are the memories from the rest of our fifth year. Once again there are several. I hope it is not too much for you to view at once. If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed by it all please take a break and watch the rest on another day. Remember when you are finished if you have any questions about what you have seen you can write to me and I’ll answer whatever I can. I really hope something here will spark something for you. Some of these memories have stronger emotions I hope that one of them will help you recover something.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

“How was the rest of your break?”

“It was good. How about you?” she asked as she curled up on the cough and leaned into him.

“It was actually pretty quiet. Most of the time if was just Mother and me. Lucius was out of the house frequently, which was probably for the best. Christmas itself was nice. The ball was better than I expected. There was no talk about anything other than Christmas plans, at least not that I heard. So back to work now.”

“I really need to spend more time studying if I’m going to pass the OWLS,” she commented.

“I have no idea why you’re worried about them, you’re bound to easily get an O in everything,” he reassured her.

“Sure with Umbridge as a teacher it will be amazing if anyone is able to get an O in Defense. Really she and Fudge think we’ll be able to pass the practical test with only theoretical knowledge. That may work for some but not for everyone, not for a lot of people,” she complained.

“At least you have Potter teaching you right? That’s what you all are doing, learning spells for Defense?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “so some of us will do well but anyone not working with him may be just out of luck.”

“Like me,” he said.

“No you… you should be fine. You have the skills. You could practice on your own.”

“But I don’t know what to practice,” he said. “Unless you’d be my teacher. Teach me what Potter is teaching you. We can find a place for it, you don’t have to take me to the same place you’re using.”

She sat up and looked at him, “No, that’s actually the perfect place to go. I can meet with you after we meet each time, maybe the next night.”

“When do you meet? How do you manage to schedule it and let everyone know?” he was genuinely curious.

She chewed her lip as she thought.

“You don’t have to tell me if you think it will be a problem. Or I can make whatever promise everyone else made that I won’t tell anyone if it would make you feel better.”

She shook her head, “No, I trust you. I was just thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea for us to have our own copies of what we use for times we might want to meet other than when we usually do, if one of us really needs to talk to the other for some reason, but it will take a little more work.”

“Ooookaaaay,” he said slowly.

She pulled a galleon from her pocket and showed it to him, “I use this. I change the number on the edge and everyone else’s gets warm and shows them the date and time of our next meeting.”

“A galleon,” he said in amazement. “Um, I don't mean any offense, but doesn't look a little odd for the Weasleys to have galleons?” 

She shrugged, “Right now it’s not so odd for Fred and George what with their selling all of their joke stuff. For Ron and Ginny yes, but they're better at hiding it or at least Ginny is. Everyone knows not to check their coin unless only other members of the group are around or they are alone.”

“So you’re thinking of creating another coin just for the two of us?”

“Yes,” she replied. “This one only goes one way, it’s the master. Everyone else just has a coin that receives the information I think it would be good if we had one that both of us could change. It can’t be a galleon though it would make more sense for you to have one but I don't want to get them confused.”

“Why did you choose the Galleon in the first place?”

“Because it's the largest coin so the print is larger and easier to see,” she replied as if the answer should have been obvious.

“Good point,” he conceded. “So a sickle for us?”

“That should work,” she nodded.

“I'll work on them as soon as I can. I should be able to get it to you in just a few days.”

“Is there any reason you couldn't take me to the room show me now? Or would any of the spells you've learned be destructive to our space here?”

“I don't know about here, but I don't suppose there will be anyone in the room right now.”

“So you'll take me?”

“Let's spend one more hour studying,” she replied. ‘I really need to get this essay for McGonagall done. Then I'll tell you where to go and you can meet me there.”

“You're right,” he put in, “We shouldn’t be seen walking the halls together.”

“I'll go first,” she said. “And I'll let you in when you get there.”

“But how will you know I'm there?” he was bewildered.

“I'll explain when you get there; trust me it'll be easier then.”

She cast a Tempus charm to track the time and they got to work. When the hour was up, she packed up everything as did he. Then she gave him directions to the seventh floor corridor across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy being clubbed by trolls As she stood to leave she told him to give her 10 minutes.

When he arrived in the corridor, there was no door just a blank wall. He was shocked and awed when mere seconds later a door began to form in the wall. He tried to turn the handle and enter the room but it would not budge, so he knocked. When the door open he could see that it was Hermione holding the knob. She invited him in.

As he entered he noticed that the room was lit by flickering torches much like the dungeons. The walls were lined with wooden bookcase, and there were no chairs in the room rather there were large silk cushions on the floor. In the back of the room were more shelves covered in a variety of Dark detectors. He moved over to the bookshelves and read several of the titles to himself then turned to her.

“I’m surprised with this selection of books that you don’t study in here," he half laughed.

“If I did I wouldn’t get any work done, I’d be too busy reading those," she replied matter of factly, "Now let’s see, you know the disarming spell right?”

“Yes.”

“And you know the stunning spell?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe it would be easier if you told me what you already know and we’ll go from there. You might end up teaching me some spells too.”

“I highly doubt that,” he replied before beginning to list all of the attack and defense spells he had tried.

“It sounds like you already know most of what we’ve tried, how about the Shield Charm? The simplest version won’t block everything but it’s still worth knowing.”

“How many versions are there?”

“When I counted there were five: Protego, Protego Duo, Protego Horribilis, Protego Maxima, Protego Totalum. Obviously it makes most sense to start in order from the weakest and build from there.”

“Okay,” he said, “what do I need to do?”

She showed him the first spell, demonstrating for him the wand movements and the spoken enchantment, asking him to cast a quick expelliarmus to see what happened. Then she did the same with him. It took him only a few tries to get the spell right. They tried the next level of the shield spell and worked until each had it mastered. 

“We should get going,” she said. “It’s getting late. We can come here again and do more Protego charms. If Harry teaches us anything new in the meantime I can show you that as well.”

“Thank you,” he replied.

“Don’t mention it,” she said as she sent the cushions flying back where they had been and led the way to the door.

“You didn’t tell me how you were able to get in here but I wasn’t.”

“So do you know what this room is?”

“No I’ve never seen it or heard of it before.”

“This is the Room of Requirement, or I guess the elves call it the come-and-go room. It can be anything you want it to be or need it to be. If you walk past the room and need something you just think about it three times and it will appear, or I think in an emergency it could happen with less than three times.”

“So you asked it to be a place to practice defensive spells?”

“Well Harry did,” she replied.

He began to roll his eyes and but stopped suddenly, “That’s essentially the same thing. So if you need it to be something else it will do that? It can be anything? How does that even work? What happens if more than one person wants to use it? What if someone is inside and someone else wants to use it?”

“I don't really know,” she replied. “I know that Dobby told Harry that he brings winky here when she's had too much butterbeer guess it becomes a place for her to sleep it off. What else it could be I have no idea I think maybe Fred and George usee it to hide in once when they were being chased by Filch after a prank and it was just a closet.”

“How many people know about this room?”

“I have no idea,” she said. “Everyone in the DA though I don’t think they all necessarily know how it works.. I know Harry told some of us but I don't think the whole school knows or I would think we would have heard of it by now. Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you want to know how many people know about the room?”

“I was just thinking some time we could study here instead of the library. Maybe we could ask the room two be a study room. It’s not that I don’t like our little corner of the library, I do. I’ll take any excuse to snuggle up next to you, but I know there are times where we need more table space than we have. Do you think anyone would know?

“Like Umbridge?” 

“Well yes.” 

“I don't know. If someone doesn't know it exists they wouldn't know to look here. She hasn't found us here yet so I'm guessing she doesn't know it's here.”

“You're probably right. If she knew this place was here I bet it would be the first place she’d check, she’d probably be staking the place out.”

“Just one more reason that no one can tell her. One more reason I took precautions to keep that from happening.”

“You ever going to tell me what they are?”

“Maybe someday. I want to keep it a secret for a while.”

“Secret huh? I suppose I can understand that. You don't plan on using it on me though are you?” 

“I hadn’t really thought about it, but maybe,” she said with a wink and a giggle.

“Okay guess I’ll just have to keep a closer eye on you.”

“You do that,” she smirked. “I'll see you tomorrow in class?” 

“I'll be there,” he leaned over and kissed her gently before leaving the room.

 

As the mist settled out again they found themselves looking down on a squashed pink bow on top of the short short woman in front of them. Draco and the other Slytherin prefects stood lined up in her office. 

“Now that we know where they are,” the toad croaked, “we'll get them. You will each approach from a different direction. Bring them all back, I'll be right behind you.”

They followed Draco as he went down the hall, taking out his wand, the silver sickle, and muttering to it as he walked.

“He must have been trying to warm me,” Adult Hermione said. “Do you remember that at all? Did I say anything to you? Did I have a sickle with me?”

“I don't remember,” Harry said, “It all happened so fast. Dobby came to warn me. How he knew I have no idea, but he did. He was squeaking at me and we all scattered.”

They had arrived in 7th Floor corridor, not at the exact entrance to the room but around to the other side. Where Draco suspected they might be able to escape. He looked both ways to see if any of his fellow prefects were around and waited. Soon Harry came flying down the hallway Draco stepped out say something to him. When Harry saw the blonde he tripped over his feet and fell to the floor. Draco reach down to help him up but Harry scrambled back and before either of them could say a word Umbridge called out from the hallway.

“Very good Mr. Malfoy, I see you've captured Mr. Potter. Go help round up the rest. I'll take care of him,” she used her wand to send a rope around Harry's wrists then grabbed him by the collar, pulled him to stand up, and led him down the hallway with her wand at his back. 

Draco stood staring at the sickle in his hand as if waiting for an answer.

 

Seconds passed and they were now in an unfamiliar room. It was a small room with a fireplace, two large wing chairs on either side. There was also a good sized round table with chairs pissed in at odd angles all around it. standing in front of the fire got into it the Draco they waited with him they all heard a knock at the swept across the room yank open the door and pulled in the young Hermione slammed the door shut behind her. 

“Are you all right?” he asked. “Did you not get my warning. I tried to get it to you as fast as I could. Did it not make sense? Why weren't you able to get away?” 

“Yes I got your warning. We just couldn't get out fast enough. We scattered but it seemed there were people everywhere to catch us. What were you doing with Umbridge anyway? Harry said you tripped him so she could catch him.” 

“I wasn't helping her or at least I was trying not to, but she didn't know that. She called all of the Slytherin prefects to come to her office. I couldn't very well say no; she would have suspected something was up. I had to use it as a chance to try and warn you. I didn't capture Potter. He tripped over his own two feet when he saw me. I couldn't let him just go by I was going to try and direct him to a hall where she wouldn't see him but I wasn't fast enough, not that he would have listened to me anyway.”

“No you're right; he wouldn't have. I'm sure he would have thought you were sending him straight into a trap. I should have told him about us long before now.”

“Does that mean you're going to tell him now?” he asked, shocked.

“No. He’s never going to understand. And even if I were going to tell him, now is not the time, not with everything going on with Umbridge. That woman has the largest store of veritaserum I've ever seen.

“Not that she needed it to get Marietta to start squealing,” he commented. “Nice job on the curse by the way. I'm not so sure you shouldn't have been a Slytherin.”

“I’ll take that as compliment,” she said.

“I hope so, it's how I meant it. You know we're not all bad. There are good sides to us just like there are good and bad in every house.” 

“I know I know,” she said.

“I understand she was one of us, that alone would turn anyone sour on the house. Most of us don’t even want to claim Umbridge. With the way we’ve treated you, you have every right to hate Slytherin.”

“I don't hate the whole house I may hate that fool Salazar himself and what he stood for as well as the results of his beliefs being passed down but it's ridiculous to hate everyone for things they can't control.”

“So you have detention.”

She laughed ruefully, “For eternity.”

“Or at least until Umbridge is gone,” he said. “I suppose this means we won't be able to meet up as often.”

“Yes I won't have as much free time. I’m sorry,” she said. 

“It's not your fault,” he replied, putting a hand on her upper arm, “don't apologize. I wish I could have done something else, anything else to have warned you all.”

“Don’t take that on yourself,” she lightly scolded. “There really wasn’t anything else you could have done. You wouldn’t have been able to get into the room.”

“I know I still wish I could have done something. Anyway, do you have time now?”

“Yes,” she said. 

“Has Potter taught you anything else you could show me?”

She tilted her head back thinking before she replied, “Have you heard of the Patronus charm?” 

“Heard of it, never even thought about trying it. Rumor has it Death Eaters can't do it.” 

“You're not a Death Eater,” she insisted. 

“But my father was, is.”

“And you think that somehow is going to stop you from being able to do it?” she asked.

“You never know,” he shrugged.

“No, not until you try,” she said. “You will try won’t you?”

“For you I will but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work,” he said glumly.

“Now you know better than that; you have to believe that you can do it. You have to have faith and confidence in your skills as a spellcaster.”

She demonstrated the spell for him, showing him the wand movement and teaching him the incantation. He watched in amusement as the silver streak shot from the end of her wand and became an otter dancing across the room.

“OK now you try,” she instructed. “Think of your happiest memory, be sure you have it clearly in your head.” 

He closed his eyes and soon thereafter opened them, waved his wand as she had shown, repeated, “Expecto patronum,” and watched the wisp of silver emerge from the end of his wand.

“That's it?” he asked disappointment ringing in his voice.

“That's great for a first try,” she replied quickly. “Try thinking of a different stronger memory, something happier and try it again once more.” 

He closed his eyes and cast the spell the result this time was much larger but did not come to any distinct form. He sighed.

“Don’t get discouraged,” she said, “there are plenty of adult wizards and witches that don’t even get that much. This is great for a first try. We should probably get going now. I’ll help you next time we meet again.”

“One more time,” he said.

“I don't know,” she answered, “It takes a lot out of you to cast this spell. We’ve had a lot of stress, we really should relax.”

“I have little bit more to give. Just let me.”

“You really should try to get it some other time and relax right now as much as you can.”

“Just once more,” he insisted.

“Okay fine,” she relented then muttered under her breath. “you and Harry are more alike than either of you realizes.” 

She watched him carefully as he stood looking intently before raising his wand once more. This time the silver coalesced into a distinct form.

“A cat?” he raised an eyebrow, “Why a cat?”

“Each patronus is different. Well not everyone but most people have different patronuses. Obviously some people have the same ones. There are only so many animals in the world, but I don’t know how it happens for why but I know it does. I guess I need to do more research.” 

“I already knew patronuses are different I just didn’t expect a cat. I expected something, I don’t know, bigger...more...something,” he complained. 

“It’s a Ragdoll cat you know, not just any old ordinary cat,” she said.

“What makes a Ragdoll cat different from any other cat?”

“I don't know,” she answered, “I’ll have to look it up. I’m sure there’s a book in the library I’ll just need to find it. I could go tomorrow and ask Madame Pince she should be able to direct me to the right section.”

Suddenly a slim book appeared on the table. Hermione crossed over, picked up the book, and began flipping through the pages.

“I found it, Ragdoll cat: If this is your patronus you are playful and smart. You’re affectionate to those you care for and playful in nature. Fiercely intelligent, you know your own mind. Although you’re never impolite and always well mannered. If the Ragdoll cat is your patronus you are carefree and fun loving. This patronus is most common in Ravenclaw but is found in the other houses. Well that explains it then,” she said.

“How does that explain anything?” he asked.

“You’re smart enough to be in Ravenclaw, you’re certainly playful-”

“But I’m not impolite.”

“Well ok, not to everyone,” she replied, “but I don’t think you have to fit every single part of the definition. Besides I don’t know anyone who is or has never been impolite in their life. That’s nearly impossible. We can still do more research.”

“You will whether I say I will or not so go ahead, you were right before though it is getting late and we should go, but first.” he took the book from her hands, placed it on the table, and pulled her into his arms holding her close with his head on hers, “I’m just so glad you’re ok,” he whispered before pulling back and brushing his lips over hers.

 

As the scene before them changed they realized that they were standing still in the little study room version of the room of requirement and Draco was again standing there waiting quite obviously for Hermione this time though he was pacing the floor. 

The door opened she entered and stood right at the door hugging the wall looking very nervous. 

He stopped pacing, turned and stared at her for several seconds before rushing across the room and pulling her into his arms, squeezing her tight to him then pulling back and looking her up and down.

“You're okay. You’re all right?” he asked as he once again looked her up and down for any signs of injury. “You are okay.”

She rested her head against his chest and breathed in deeply just appreciating being held for a moment before stepping back, “Draco,” she said as she placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed against him enough to take a half step back, “Your father, I'm sorry.”

“Don't be sorry. Don't apologize! Don’t you dare! It's not your fault! He made his own choices, years ago even. Just be more careful yourself,” here his speaking became ranting, “What were you thinking anyway? Were you even thinking? I get that Potter and Weasley don't think; they act. They're gryffindor's to the core but you, you think, usually. What happened? Do you know what could have happened to you? Let’s go back to my father. He’d have killed you as soon as look at you just because you’re in the way and he’s trying to save his own arse. And then there’s my aunt. She is crazy in a way I’ve never even heard of. She’d kill you as soon as look at you too but she’d do it because she enjoys it. She enjoys torturing and killing. Even Mother is scared of her, she’s scared of her own sister. What does that tell you? And my Mother is formidable when she wants to be she can be downright scary! I’ve seen the marks on Weasley’s arms, that could have been you. Do you know how terrified I was and I wasn’t able to do anything about it, there was no one I could say anything too. No one would understand, and even if anyone knew the people who would have known were with you.”

He stepped further back to see the look on her face, there was chagrin but also determination. 

She obviously wanted to speak, to rebut some of the things he was saying but was instead waiting for him to finish, knowing that he wouldn’t listen now anyway, he was simply too worked up. 

“You could have been captured. You could have been tortured. You could have been killed. You could have... I don't even know. You came back but I couldn’t see you. I knew you were here but I couldn’t talk to you. I couldn't talk to anyone. It feels like you’ve been avoiding me for days and I know you probably actually haven’t you just haven’t been able to get away, but I couldn't talk to you and now there's a rumor,something about the centaurs and Umbridge and you being the reason she’s disappeared and that they took her. I don’t know I don’t care what you did or didn’t do I’m not even asking. I’m just so glad you're okay,” he pulled her into a hug once again holding her tight his head rest on hers his face buried in her hair. 

She stood for several moments in his embrace before gently stepping back. When she did she and the adults could see that he had been crying. She wiped the tears from his cheeks and took a deep breath before speaking, “First off, you're right, we didn't think or at least not as much as we should have. There was no talking Harry out of going and I wasn't going to let him go alone or even with only Ron as backup and then everyone else decided to go along to. I don't know if you know but Sirius Black, your mother's cousin, is Harry's Godfather and was never a follower of Voldemort. He was framed by Peter Pettigrew, a man who was supposed to be one of his best friends.”

“That I know,” he replied darkly, “that rat bragged about how he is free to serve the Dark Lord while Sirius was being hunted by the Dementors.”

“Then you should know you should understand. Harry was sure Sirius was in trouble and he insisted on going to save him.”

“You have got to rein him in. He’s supposed to be the one to defeat Voldemort. We want that Gryffindor bravery but not the recklessness.”

“I know! Trust me I've already gave him a piece of my mind but there was no stopping him. Sirius was the only family he had left. That was all that mattered to him. Period!” she said.

“This is crazy. He’s going to get himself killed.”

“I know,” she said, “let’s sit down so I can tell you the since story you obviously want to hear it.”

They moved over to sit in the wing chairs that were in front of the fireplace, moving them next to each other, and holding hands she told him the entire story finishing with Dumbledore finding them in the Ministry.

“What's going to happen now with your father gone?” she asked.

“I don't know. It won't be good I'm sure but it's not like there's anything I can do about it, whatever it is.”

“You have the sickle call me at anytime time over the summer. Message me if you need to find a way to meet and talk.”

“But won’t that show up as underage use of magic in your house?”

“I don't think the ministry is going to be paying quite as much attention to underage magic this summer as they have in the past,” she said sadly.

“I hate to say it but you're probably right about that. I don't know if I'll be able to see you this summer like we did it Christmas but I'd like to try.”

“Anytime,” she said, “just let me know.”

He pulled her up and over into his lap.Aas they sat and kissed and cuddled Harry turned to the woman at his side just in time for her to collapse into his arms. He pulled them both out of the memory. When he came back to the present sitting in the chair by the table he took her by the shoulders and shook her. There was no response. He knew he couldn't do anything about it as he didn’t know any spells yet to revive an unconscious person and had no potions on hand to do it either. He carefully picked her up and carried her out of the room, down the hall, and into number 13. Arriving at the floo he took a handful of powder, threw it in the fireplace, and said loudly and clearly McGonagall's office. Seconds later he was stepping out of the fireplace with Hermione in his arms and the headmistress looked up at him eyes wide, stood and followed him and strode out of the office.

“What happened?”

“I don't know,” he replied as he headed to the stairs, “we were watching the memories I looked over and she collapsed.”

Minerva trailed behind him sending a patronus so that Poppy would be waiting. She stood holding the doors open as they arrived. 

“Behind the screen,” was all she said.

As Harry lay her on the cot Madam Pomfrey took out her wand waving it several times in various complicated patterns, “She's healthy,” she said, “there's nothing physically wrong.”

“How long were you in the pensieve?” McGonagall asked Harry.

“I don't know,” he said, “we started at about noon.”

‘My word you've been at this for four hours.”

“Four hours in the Pensieve!” Pomfrey exclaimed. 

“So you were viewing memories that you or Draco remember that she doesn't recall due to the Obliviation but that involve her. Since she shows no physical signs it must be some sort of mind exhaustion. I'll see what I can do,” she rushed off to the little store room on the side returning with several potions.

She instructed Harry to lift Hermione up to sitting position. She opened the woman’s mouth and poured a small potion and then a second down the woman's throat. Harry held her as she began finally opening her eyes.

“Where am I?” 

Harry laid her back down on the cot but held her hands, “You passed out. I couldn’t take care of you so I brought you to Madam Pomfrey.”

The older woman again sent her wand dancing over the woman in the bed, Reassured, she shooed Harry away so she could sit down next to her on the bed. She mumbled to the younger woman for a while then had a short discussion with Minerva before finally picking up yet another potionand handing it to Hermione.

“I think you need some actual sleep dear to recover fully, so take this and we’ll be here when you awaken. Then we can make a plan to keep this from happening again.”

Hermione took the potion with only the briefest of complaints, drank it, and before long drifted to sleep.

Pomfrey gestured for Harry and Minerva to follow her to her office off the Infirmary. The sat in three fat chairs around the small table in the corner near Poppy’s own small fireplace.

Harry shared with the two women all they had seen that day in the Pensieve. 

“So it was a variety of memories,” McGonigal said, “all that suggests that this was most definitely emotional and mental exhaustion. I’m tired just hearing the list. And it took several hours to view them all?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Exhaustion,” Pomfrey said again, “her brain is simply exhausted and overwhelmed I've never seen anything quite like it before. Don't know of anyone who’s every suffered a case quite like it. I could consult with someone at Mungo's if you'd like.”

Harry and Minerva exchanged glances and shook their heads.

“Not now,” Harry replied, “I don't think so. Even if there is someone we trust somehow it will quickly get back to members of the Wizengamot. They'll insist we stop and find some way to change their ruling.”

“I agree,” Minerva said, “but we can't continue this way. You have to contact Draco. I assume you haven’t done so yet.”

“No,” Harry said, “There wasn’t time. I'll email him as soon as I got home. I’d contact him from here if there were a way, but email will be faster. There's just no way an owl can get there, or any other bird I know. I don’t even know if the floo can be connected to the States and even if it could he doesn’t haven one in his flat so we’d have to try and catch him at work. I can call him but the time difference is bad, I don’t know if he’d answer. I suppose I could leave him a message as well just to be sure he gets it.

“Be sure to tell him that she is fine; she will recover quickly,” Poppy said, “but I would highly suggest taking a rest break of several weeks before viewing any memories again. Then I would certainly say you should do the viewing for shorter periods of time. I can come in the future so long as you let me know beforehand, and give her a potion to strengthen her mental faculties.”

The headmistress nodded and leaned her head to one side, “I agree and 0we can certainly spare Poppy on a Saturday or two. She is one of the most skilled healers I know. We can speak with Hermione in the morning and see if we can determine what it was that caused the most emotional damage. If it was just the sheer amount of time involved or if it was the emotions involved. Poppy can be on hand at your home and if there is another issue we can care for her there and only bring her here if necessary. Thank Merline you had the presence of mind to bring Miss Granger here.”

“It was the only place I can think of. I knew she’d be cared for here and it was safe. I'm just happy that you had approved us using your floo to access the castle this time. It would have been much harder if I'd had to bring her through from Hogsmeade.”

“Well, I will leave that connection active. Poppy can use it to come to Grimmauld Place when you need her.”

“When can I take her home?”

“Not tonight Harry dear. Tomorrow. You can stay here with her or you can go home and come back tomorrow.”

“I would like to stay with her I'll go home first send an email to Draco let him know that I'll be here if he replies and why don't get some things for her like a change of clothes. Thank you both.”


	15. Chapter 15

12/18/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Draco,  
Just a quick update, please don't worry her mind is in good hands but Hermione collapsed at the end of watching memories today. I took her straight to Hogwarts Madam Pomfrey is caring for her. She said she will be just fine but they laid out some new ground rules I agree with I'll share them with you next time. Oh they is Pomfrey and McGonagall. I’m going back to sit with her tonight so if you reply I won't be able to get back to you right away I'll message you again tomorrow.  
Harry

Harry closed the laptop and headed to the door back to number 13, stopping at the connecting door and stepping back into 12 dialing his cell phone at the same time. He left the same message on Draco’s voice mail then went ahead collecting things and flooing back to Hogwarts.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco stepped through the hedge into the garden separating magical and non magical New Orleans. As he left the garden he pulled out his cell phone and turned it on as was his daily routine. There was rarely any reason to have it on. He had just left the only people who might contact him that way other than Potter who hadn’t texted him in months since they started using e-mail, still it was always good to have it on just in case. He had recently heard that the MACUSA Department of Magical Law Enforcement had set up a phone bank in the NoMaj world in case a witch or wizard ever needed their assistance and had no magical means of letting them know. It worked much the same was as 911 did for the NoMaj population. Not that he didn’t feel he could take care of himself but it was always wise to be prepared which was why he was also taking self defense classes with Claire and her sister twice weekly.

As he stepped out onto the sidewalk his phone buzzed to notify him that he had a voicemail. Surprised, but sure it was simply a wrong number as he’d had several of them over the past month he dialed the number to retrieve his message and stood listening with a concern growing on his face. When the recording stopped he listened to it again and again.

Terry found Draco standing on the sidewalk staring at his phone, “What’s up Dray?”

When Draco didn’t respond Terry waved a hand in his face, “Draco?”

Draco looked up at him, “Hermione,” was all he said.

Terry raised an eyebrow, “What about her?”

“She… I don’t… it’s all my fault…” Draco continued mumbling.

Seeing the phone in Draco’s hand he gestured to it, “May I?”

Draco pushed the phone out towards him. Terry took it and replayed the message. Then pocketed Draco’s phone to keep him from doing anything dumb with it, and took out his own dialing as he placed a hand on Draco’s shoulder and began to direct him down the street.

“John, meet me at Draco’s and bring a Calming Draught and a Dreamless Sleep. If we don’t have one stop by and see Martha. Actually stop by there anyway and tell her we may need to use her Floo to call Scotland or England if we can get approval. I’ll explain I promise but I have to get Draco home. Love you.”

“Come on now Draco, let’s go to your place and I’ll make you some tea. You Brits do fancy your tea don’t you? You can drink your tea and then we can talk. For now Hermione is being taken care of and will be just fine.”

Terry continued to murmur reassurances to Draco as they walked. When they reached the blond’s apartment he didn’t bother to ask for the key simply cast a quick surreptitious Alohomora, then led Draco to sit on the futon, and set about making tea and locating cookies to go with it, thinking Draco might need some sugar. While the kettle sat on the stove heating he pulled two of the chairs from the closet that he and the others had managed to convince Draco to purchase so that they would have places to sit when they visited. Shaking his head and the uncomfortableness of the metal folding chair he transformed each into large recliners. Every minute or so he looked over at Draco who sat in a daze and would suddenly jump to his feet and begin pacing at which point Terry would go over and gently lead him back to the futon.

Shortly after Terry placed the tea tray on the low coffee table and placed a cup in Draco’s hand there came a knock at the door. He rose and peered through the peephole. Seeing his husband and boss he slid out the door holding it just barely open so that he could keep an eye on his friend while explaining to them the situation. John accompanied Terry back into the apartment taking the other recliner as Martha apparated away promising to return shortly.

Draco still sat with the undrunk cup in his hand. John and Terry exchanged looks neither sure of what to say or where to start. Finally John leaned forward, “Draco do you trust the people taking care of Hermione?”

Draco’s eyes seemed to come back into focus, he looked down at the cup in his hands, then up at John and Terry, shook his head and said, “What did you say?”

“Do you trust the people taking care of Hermione? We know that you and Harry have a sordid past as you’ve told us but you seem to trust him. Do you trust this Pomfrey and McGonagall? Do you trust that they will do their level best to care for her?”

“Yes. They both love her, she was a favorite of most of the teachers at Hogwarts. They’ll do anything they can to take care of her.”

“Do you trust them to be honest with you? Would either of them or Harry lie to you about her condition?” seeing Draco shake his head at the second question John pressed a little further, “Would you trust them with your own life? Because if you would then you know that Hermione is in the best of hands and you can relax.”

“But it’s all my fault,” he protested, “we should never have done this. I should have just left her alone. She would never have had to know. I can’t ever live there again anyway. What was I thinking? Even if she did remember? Even if she didn’t and still decided she cared we could never really be together. She’d have to move away from her family. It would damage her reputation. She wouldn’t be able to stay there and make the changes she wants to make to the laws over there. This was horrible idea. I should have known something would go wrong.”

As Draco rambled and ranted, Martha slid through the door. She walked over and sat next to him looking first to Terry who shrugged and then to John who shook his head slowly.

“She could have died. I’ve lost her once I can’t lose her again. What if I lose her again? What if they’re wrong? What if what happened has long lasting effects? What if she’s never the same again? What if her mind...her brain is damaged? I have to tell her to stop. We can’t keep doing this. I can’t… I can’t lose her,” as he said the last tears streamed down his face.

Marth pulled him over into her arms, rubbing his back, and murmured to him. John uncapped a vial and poured some into Draco’s tea cup. When Draco had calmed again she passed him the tea cup and encouraged him to drink.

A few moments later he looked out the window then back to his friends and his boss, “I apologize. I never meant to bring you all into this. I’m okay now you can go. Thank you for...well thank you.”

“Draco,” Martha said taking his hand, “I’ve just come from the shop where I spoke with Minerva McGonagall.”

“McGonagall? But it must be after midnight there. How were you able to call her?”

“It is after midnight but Minerva is a night owl it seems. I got approval for a Floo connection to her office when we were trying to decide if you should apprentice at the shop. We had a lovely conversation then and have kept in touch since. I believe I may have her convinced to come for a visit over the summer. I think she’d quite enjoy touring our lovely city and some of the rest of the country and it would be a perfect way for me to get Maury to take a break. Oh but I’m getting off the topic. I’m sorry my dear. She wasn’t in when I called but one of the portraits kindly let her know and she came right up. Hermione is fine my dear, truly. Harry took her straight to Hogwarts and Poppy was able to assess and treat her immediately. She is in no danger. She has woken up and spoken with them, though she is sleeping again now. Poppy will check her again in the morning and then Minerva said we can call her from the shop so that she can fill us in but they are both quite sure that she will be absolutely fine,” she reassured him.

“We can talk to them tomorrow?”

“First thing in the morning, come to the shop. It will be afternoon there and Minerva has assured me that she will be in her office waiting and if she happens to be called away she will ask Poppy to wait. So dear, I think you should eat something and relax. Get some sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow,” she patted his knee, he took her hand and squeezed it.

“Thank you Martha. I can’t thank you enough-”

“Nonsense dear,” she waved her hand, “it was absolutely no trouble.”

“But you didn’t get to go home,” he turned to look at Terry and John, “none of you got to go home and relax. You are all here taking care of me.”

Terry leaned forward in his chair, “That’s what friends do for one another.”

“And we’re more family than friends, besides John and Terry are both here so they’re not missing out on seeing each other and,” there came a knock at the door, “that will be Maury, he ran to our favorite Chinese place to get us all some dinner.”

“Chinese?” Terry very nearly squealed, “Have I told you lately how much I adore you Martha?”

She laughed and let her husband in. They set the food out on the small coffee table, all of them settling onto the ground around it eating straight out of the containers with chopsticks and making a mess but laughing all the while. Draco even laughed a time or two though he was more than his usual reserved self obviously still preoccupied. Each person at some point in the evening found the chance to run a hand over his back, pat him on the shoulder, or in the case of Maurice ruffle his hair causing him to scowl but also fight back a grin. Though both Terry and Martha offered to stay with him, Draco shooed them all out of the apartment at eleven with promises to meet at the shop by nine the next morning.

After cleaning up the room and himself Draco lay on his now flat futon, staring at the ceiling, playing with his silver sickle, just wanting to make it through the night. At some point he finally drifted into a fitful sleep.

The next morning he was awakened by a circle of warmth on his chest. Opening his eyes he expected to see the sun peeking through the windows in a stream landing on him, rather the sun was shining on the floor. Bewildered he moved his hands to the warm spot, finding the sickle he looked at it carefully. Smiling he drifted tucked it tight in his hand and drifted back to sleep having seen all he needed to: I’m OK.


	16. Chapter 16

12/19/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: Hermione  
Harry,  
Thank you for taking care of Hermione. I know I don’t really need to thank you but I’m saying it anyway. I’ve spoken with McGonagall and I agree with all of her suggestions. I’m tempted to stop sending memories at all and just try to win Hermione over without them but I know she won’t give up and I really think she does need to see everything so I’m letting you know that I will be waiting to send any more memories until the new year. When I do send the next batch I’ll try to keep them fewer to a session.   
Draco

 

12/20/99   
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
RE: RE: Hermione  
Draco,  
You’re right you don’t need to thank me but you are welcome. I’ll leave it to you to tell her you’re waiting to send the memories because she’s already chomping at the bit to watch more. I think the more she sees the more frustrated she becomes with nothing coming back to her.   
Harry

 

12/19/89  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: changes  
Hermione,  
There is nothing I can say that comes close to expressing just how sorry I am that I caused you such distress. Don’t bother arguing that I didn’t cause it. I sent the memories. I chose the ones to send. I chose to send that many at one time. I won’t make the same mistake again. I will send fewer memories at once and I think we need to space out the sessions more than we have. The holidays are the perfect reason to wait. I know you’ll want to spend Christmas with your parents and New Year’s with your friends. The next package will be in the mail after the new year. 

You can’t imagine my relief when that coin warmed up this morning. Or maybe you can since you thought to send me a message that way. 

I spoke with McGonagall this morning, well morning for me. I suppose you know that as well. I know that she shared her thoughts with you on what we should do differently and that you weren’t happy about them but I have to say I completely agree with her. Pomfrey should be there each time just to be safe, or at least when you view the memories from sixth and seventh years. I’ll send them every three or four weeks instead of every two.

Martha continues to amaze me. I had no idea that she had gotten approval for a Floo connection to Hogwarts. She and McGonagall seem to rapidly be becoming friends. She also told me that she had applied for a connection to the Manor so that I could speak with my mother and one to Grimmauld place. No surprised they denied the second one immediately. The Ministry also saw fit to deny the application for the connection to the Manor. Martha, who could have been a Slytherin, has now applied for a Floo connection to the old Black chateau in France with the French ministry. She hasn’t heard back but she thinks it will be approved.

Enjoy your holiday my darling. I wish I could be with you but Mother will be here and Terry has insisted we watch a marathon of Christmas Carol movies. He says he thinks I’ll like them but hasn’t explained why.  
Always yours,  
Draco

12/20/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: no change needed  
Draco,  
I see absolutely no reason to change our schedule, though I will agree waiting until after the holidays is a good idea. Asking Poppy to be here is positively ridiculous. I can teach Harry any spells that might need to be used and you can tell us what potions we should have on hand. We can buy them in Diagon Alley or you could send the potions with the memories. I’m fine I can regulate myself. Now that we know what happened and I know that what I was feeling wasn’t just part of the memory or just end of the week tiredness I can better monitor myself. There is just no reason to change anything.  
Hermione

 

12/21/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re:   
Hermione,  
I love you and this what I’m about to say may mean I lose all chance of having you in my life again but it’s worth it if it means you stay safe and healthy. You can either agree to the new schedule and Pomfrey being present or I will stop sending memories. I will not risk losing you to permanent mental exhaustion. You could end up in a condition not much different than if you’d been subjected to the Dementor’s Kiss. I just can’t do that, I won’t do that. I’m sorry if that upsets you but I care about you too much and I guarantee Harry will say the same thing as will everyone else who cares about you. I imagine it will be a while before I hear from you so I’ll tell you now that I have sent you a Christmas package. Please know that I expect nothing in return and at this moment I would be shocked if you reciprocated. Have a wonderful Christmas!  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

12/21/99  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: sorry for the hornet  
H,  
She’ll be coming to you complaining about me at any moment if she hasn’t already. I told her no more memories unless she agrees to the new precautions. I figured you’d back me up. Sorry. As an apology for the beating your ears are about to take I am sending you a Christmas package too, well that and as a thank you for supporting us in our efforts. I know I know it’s not entirely unselfish as it means getting your friends back whole but thank you nonetheless.  
D

P.S. Please don’t tell her I called her a hornet

 

12/21/18   
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: thank you  
D  
Thanks ever so much for loosing the hornet, though I get why you did. Yes I back you fully as does or will everyone else we know. Thank you also for providing me with future blackmail material. As I don’t have a death wish nor do I wish to be hexed I won’t be telling Hermione now but certainly in the future when it will best benefit me I will tell her. I figured it would only be fair to warn you.  
H

 

12/21/18  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: very good  
H  
Blackmail? Very good, how Slytherin of you. I’ll be sure to be be keeping track of all of our correspondence for much the same reason. Little things like that should help you do well at the Ministry.  
D

 

12/22/18  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: Slytherin huh  
D  
Some other time you’ll have to remind me to tell you about my time with the Sorting Hat.  
H  
P.S. She’s still pretty angry with you, though I take it she hasn’t emailed you yet. She hasn’t even opened the Christmas present you sent her. I however did. Thank you a glass of Firewhiskey is often the perfect end to a work day.

 

12/22/18  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: Christmas present  
H  
You’re welcome and thank you for the box of sugar quills. I’m not surprised she’s still angry nor that she has yet to open the present. If you feel the need to transfigure the box or paper to get her to open it you have my permission. I only ask that if you think she’s about to destroy it you hide it or send it back to me.  
D

 

12/23/18  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: end in sight  
D  
I think she may be coming around. After talking to several people other than you or I, including a very long talk with Luna, who for all her eccentricities can sometimes cut right to the heart of the matter and make it seem simple and clear, she seems calmer. She also refused to let me have the present when I told her that if she didn’t want it I would send it back to you, more than refused I got a good stinging jinx for that one so you owe me.  
H

 

12/23/18  
To: HJP80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: not my fault  
H  
You really should be faster with the Shield Charm when messing with Hermione, I would think you’d know better than that by now. Haven’t you learned anything in auror training? In spite of that I might drop something for you in the next box I send. For now, I’m off to spend time with my mother who has just arrived.  
D

 

12/25/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: thank you  
Draco,  
Thank you for the lovely earrings. I don’t know how you were able to find a pair that so closely matched the necklace but I love them. I feel bad admitting this but I hadn’t purchased anything for you until yesterday. I know you said it was unnecessary but I had already planned to get you something, not as a girlfriend or anything like that but as a friend as I feel that we have become friends through these emails and in thanks for all you’ve been doing to help me regain my memories. It will of course arrive well after Christmas but I hope that you will enjoy it nonetheless.

I have, after much discussion with Harry and several others, decided that I will go along with the rules you all have set forth. I must admit I was quite furious with you when you threatened to not continue should I not agree but after calming down I see you must care for me extraordinarily to risk my ire and the possibility that I would never speak to you again. It is near grudgingly but I must admit that I appreciate that you were willing to take that risk.

By now you must have seen several versions of A Christmas Carol. I’m curious to find out which ones you watched, which you prefer, or if you enjoyed them at all. I hope you and your mother are having a wonderful Christmas. Please convey my thanks to her for the wonderful variety of teas she sent me. I have never heard of many of them but am excited to try them especially as she was so kind as to pick one that listed what each was best served with and what it might be best for, there are certainly nights I need to relaxing teas and times when the energizing ones will come in quite handy. I sent her a thank you note but do not know when she will be home to receive it so if you would also pass along my thanks I would appreciate it.  
Hermione

 

12/28/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: sorry for the late reply  
Hermione,  
First I must apologize for taking so long to reply to you. While Mother was here I simply didn’t go near the computer, didn’t really have much time. She did seem to enjoy herself though I could tell that Martha’s family overwhelmed her a bit. They would never have known but I could tell. It amazes me how differently some people grow up. I never really thought anything of it in school as so many of my housemates and friends had similar upbringings. I had never seen a family as boisterous or as outwardly caring as both Terry’s and Martha’s are. I’d think this was just an American thing but Claire tells me her family is also much more reserved. I wondered as well if it had something to do with social class, with money for lack of a better way of putting it. Maybe those that are better off are taught to be more reserved but John assures me that is family is “quite comfortable” in his words “filthy rich” in Terry’s and they are not so reserved at least not at family events. He said he did have to attend many parties and those were more formal and people were more reserved but not at home. So I’m left at a loss as to just what might result in families being more outgoing or more reserved and I’m intrigued.

I did enjoy A Christmas Carol. It was interesting to see each version and see how they portrayed London. That actually led me to look up pictures of London from that time frame to see if anyone was accurate, some are better then others but I suppose that’s normal. We watched several versions, I lost count actually, over a two or three day period or maybe it was four days. No I don’t even remember how many days we watched versions. Apparently this is a tradition of Terry’s that John indulges every year. Each day as soon as we closed the shop Terry rushed me out the door and to their apartment where we had takeaway and watched movies. I’ll have to ask him for a list to be sure I can list all that we watched though some are clearer in my mind than others. Everyone has their favorite and it seems no one has the same favorite hence the multiple nights of watching with different people over each night and as I’d seen none of them and everyone insisted I watch their preferred version I had to be there for all of them. I didn’t mind truly as it’s not that I had anything else to do, other than worry about you and it was good to have something to take my mind off of my concerns.

Three versions stick out in my mind, an animated version that was quite short Mickey’s Christmas Carol, it was cute and enjoyable. One that several of the others like from the 1980s was really long and just didn’t hold my attention the same way, I didn’t care for it though I can’t remember who the actors were. I think the one I enjoyed the most though I don’t know that it was my favorite, is the Muppet Christmas Carol. I think it’s the one that made me laugh the most and I enjoyed the music as well. I think maybe I just like the Muppets, Terry has converted me. I also enjoyed that the actor playing Scrooge was actually English. That seems rare in American productions. Which version is your favorite? Is there one you watch each year at Christmas?

After John told me that Charles Dickens has written many books I went in search of them online. I thought about going to a local bookshop and purchasing several but while Martha pays what she can my position is truly supposed to be unpaid so I don’t have the spare money from that and I’ve used much of the allowance Mother sent with me when I came here on electronics and I refuse to ask her for more. I need to make it on my own. Thank Merlin I have my library card and was able to pick up Tale of Two Cities and Oliver Twist. I looked for the book version of A Christmas Carol but they were all checked out, no surprise really considering the time of year. I haven’t had a chance to read either book yet as Mother was here but now that she’s gone back home I should have plenty of time.

I am so glad that you liked the earrings. Quite honestly I had purchased them at the same time as the necklace and had intended to give them to you earlier but the chance never came or at least the time never felt right.

I haven’t received the package you sent yet but as it was Christmas I’m sure shipping has been slowed. I will be sure to let you know when it arrives and I’m going to say thank you now. You needn’t have sent me anything but knowing you I’m not surprised that you did. I didn’t get a chance to pass your thanks along to Mother but I will when I speak to her again though she will have received your note by then no doubt.

Well it is late, this is a much longer response than I had planned and I must be up early in the morning to get to the shop so I’ll be closing now and say simply I am glad to hear from you again, I truly was worried that though you would want to continue with the memories that you might remain angry with me no matter what Harry had said.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

12/29/99  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: Dickens  
Draco,

I have read several of Dickens books. My father enjoys them so that I wanted to read them and it’s not that I didn’t enjoy them but they weren’t my favorite reads. I think of the books I read A Christmas Carol was my favorite. As for movie versions my family has watched the 1938 version on Christmas Eve every year for as long as I can remember. It’s a version that I don’t think is as well known but I like it quite a bit though I could be biased as it is such a family tradition. I also quite like Mickey and the Muppet version. As silly as it is every time they’re lighting the lamps and Rizzo screeches “light the lamp not the rat, light the lamp not the rat” I giggle. I just realized I think I told you before I’d never seen a Muppet movie, I’d completely forgotten about Muppet Christmas Carol, don’t know how. I still haven’t watched any of the others. Harry and I really need to set aside an evening and rent one to watch.

Over the years my family has watched a different version of Christmas Carol each year along with the 1938. I believe the one you mentioned was the 1984 version with the actor George C Scott. It seems to be one of the most popular, it is a good adaptation but it is a bit long. Actually if you get a chance next year and didn’t watch it this year, there was a brand new version on American television this year with Patrick Stewart as Scrooge, I think you’d like it. Stewart is an Englishman after all.

I’ve taken a bit of a vacation from work, just a few days. So many others took time off before the holiday that I decided to wait until after and take my time before the New Year. Harry and I are having some friends over that evening for a small party. Do you have plans? Please tell me you won’t be spending New Year’s Eve home alone.

I feel like we’ve gotten away from asking each other getting to know you questions but I’m not sure what there is left to ask. I’ll have to go back and read our old emails, or maybe not. I don’t know. Is there anything you haven’t yet told me, anything I haven’t asked that you feel I should know, anything not related to the memories that is.  
Hermione

P.S. You’ve probably heard about this and had your computer checked but I thought I’d ask just to be sure, is your computer Y2K compliant? I know that’s been a big concern over here. Mum and Dad had to have all their work computers double checked to make sure they’ll still work next week. I had a tech guy come out to check both Harry’s and my computers last month and never thought about yours until just now. You just bought yours few months ago though so it should be ok, just wanted to ask while I was thinking about it.

 

12/29/99  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: hmmm  
Hermione,  
I can’t think of anything specific I think you should know, at least not right now. Something may come to me and if it does I’ll send you a message.

Yes my computer is compliant. They made a big deal out of telling me that when I bought it. Thanks for the concern though.

No I will not be alone on New Year’s Eve. I’m actually hosting a little get together of my own. I say little because it is only those I work with and their significant other: Terry and John, Claire and her sister and each may possibly bring someone, Martha and Maurice though they’ll only be stopping by for a short while as their oldest is having a party for the family. They’ve all been so kind inviting me into their homes I felt it was my turn to return the favor. Mother insisted that I needed more furniture in my apartment so that visitors don’t have to sit on the floor. I wouldn’t let her buy any so when she went back home she immediately arranged for several older chairs, a chaise, and a small dining table from the Manor be sent over. They’re supposed to be arriving tomorrow. Sometimes I just can’t stop her from doing what she wants. 

I received your package this afternoon. It was waiting on the doorstep when I arrived home from the shop. Thank you, while I have read the volume of sonnets you gave me many times I have yet to have read any of Shakespeare’s plays. I’m curious as to why you chose the ones you did but rather than you telling me I think I’ll read them and see if I can figure it out though I doubt I’ll be reading any of them until after the New Year. I may actually have to break down and get a bookshelf now. I don’t want to leave such nice books sitting on the floor. I haven’t even unpacked the sonnets, they’re sitting in a box for that exact reason.

I’ve been thinking about what memories I’ll be sending next. I’ll drop them in the mail tomorrow to be sure you have them for next Saturday as I’m sure the post will be delayed with the holiday. Speaking of have a wonderful time at your party.  
Always your,  
Draco

*~*~*~*~*

“Draco your phone is ringing,” Terry called, “Draco? Where did he go?”

John looked up from the dip he was stirring on the stove, “I think he ran down to the corner for more champagne.”

“And he didn’t take his phone with him?” Terry was shocked.

“He was only going to the corner,” John shook his head, “Whoever it is, he can call them back.”

“Well they hung up so I guess he’ll have… no they’re calling again. Maybe I should answer it.”

“It’s not your phone.”

“But they’ve called two times in a row. I’m answering it could be important. Hello?”

“Draco?” came the voice from the other end.

“No, this is a friend of his, he stepped out and forgot to take his phone with him but I can take a message if you need and have him call you back.”

“Oh um, that’s not really necessary. I just called, well…”

“Is this Hermione?” Terry asked.

There was a slight pause before she responded, “Yes.”

“Oh wow! No don’t hang up, I’m sure he’ll be right back. I’m Terry, I-”

“Work with him at the potions shop, yes, he’s told me.”

“He’s told you about me?”

“About you and your husband yes, and all the others you work with. He seems to be quite fond of the lot of you.”

“Ah but he’s much more fond of you.”

“I don’t know what to say to that,” she replied.

“Nothing you need to say dear. We were all glad to hear you recovered, we were really worried about Draco when it happened. He was a wreck. Oh I think I hear him coming up the stairs, hold on just a second. Draco you have a call and trust me you want to take it.”

“Terry why are you on my phone?” Draco asked as he rushed in the door to see Terry standing holding his mobile phone out to him.

“The phone rang twice from the same number I thought it might be an emergency so I answered, next time I’ll just let it go to voicemail.”

Draco sighed, “No need to be dramatic, thank you I’ll take it now. Hello?”

“Hello Draco. I just wanted to say Happy New Year.”

“Hermione,” he breathed and dropped into a chair then looked at his watch, “it is the new year there isn’t t? Well then Happy New Year. I’m surprised to hear from you. Did you call from your phone?”

“Yes. Harry gave me the number a while ago but I wasn’t sure if and when I’d use it considering the time difference. Today just seemed like the right time. I won’t keep you long since we both have company we should be paying attention to, I really just wanted to say Happy New Year and since I have I should go and let you go.”

“Do you have to? I mean I only have Terry and John here now and they don’t mind,” Draco said.

“We really don’t!” Terry called from across the room.

Hermione laughed, “They may not but Harry might mind if I continue to ignore our guests. I think some of them are already getting ready to leave and I should go say goodbye.”

“Ok then,” Draco said quietly, “I’ll let you go, but, well it was good to hear your voice. Happy New Year.”

“You too, have a good time. I’ll email you later maybe.”

“Me too. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

*~*~*~*~*

1/1/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: you’ll never believe this  
Hermione,

I’m still pretty tired from the party but before I went to bed I just had to drop a quick line. Martha and Maurice brought an extra to my little party, McGonagall. Apparently they’ve been talking quite a bit since the connected after your issue with the last memories, which I knew, what I didn’t know was that she had invited Minerva for the holiday. Has she asked you to call her by her first name by the way, I find it quite odd but I’m trying to do it since she asked me to, but after seven years of calling her professor it’s just hard. They didn’t stay long but while they were here she pulled me into a corner and told me she was proud of what I’ve been doing. It felt good to hear that. There weren’t many professors I really respected at school but she was one. Anyway I need to get some sleep so I’ll say goodbye for now.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/2/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: yes it’s odd  
Draco,  
She has told me that, as did Pomfrey ask Harry and I to call her Poppy. It feels wrong but like you said since that’s what they asked that’s what we’re going to do, or at least what we’re going to try to do.

I think it’s great that your boss is friends with Minerva though. I always liked her and felt like she needed friends and I couldn’t explain why. I’m sure she has friends but one can never have enough good friends. Besides if she’s contacting your boss then she could be a good reference for you when you come back here. You are planning on returning to the UK aren’t you? 

Well I need to go I have to get my things sorted and ready to go back to work tomorrow. I think I might actually be getting somewhere. All that research you suggested I do into other countries I’m putting into a report that I will be presenting to the head of the department. Along with the actual rules and regulations I have found some reactions of wizards from other countries to our rules and regs, to the way they see magical creatures being treated. I’m hoping that that helps swing the head to look deeper into changes. We certainly don’t want to be looked at as backwards or stuck in the dark ages. It’s all about PR. Ah well I’m off to do that. I hope you’re having a more relaxing Sunday than I.  
Hermione

 

1/2/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: very relaxing  
Hermione,  
Yes, I’ve spent the entire day home alone just reading. Martha nd Maurice invited me to their house for Sunday dinner but after having everyone over for New Year’s until late into night/ early into the morning I decided to just spend a day alone, get a break from all the people. Don’t get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed having everyone over but I needed a day of quiet before going back to the shop and spending time with my coworkers and all of the customers. Sometimes I just like to have me time. I always had so much time alone when I was young, before going to Hogwarts that I almost never wanted to be alone once I got there even though it took me a while to be comfortable in large noisy crowds. I could certainly act as if I was comfortable, that is a requirement when you must attend the myriad of social events necessary for a family like mine but that’s not the same as being comfortable. Honestly I think some o the reason I tried to hard to be the center of attention was just a coping mechanism. If everyone was looking at me I had to be on, I had to be performing and that took my mind off being in the middle of a large group. It was so counterintuitive. Of course that doesn’t take into account that I did feed off being the center of attention as well so maybe I’m just making excuses for my poor behavior now, that makes the most sense. Anyway all this is to say that I now appreciate being alone, having time to myself in a way I never did when I was younger or even the way I did that year I spent alone again after the battle. That year was filled with thoughts of what was going to happen and if I’d even have a life going forward, it was only talking with you that kept me from completely panicking. This will probably renew your interest in the trial transcripts and while I can’t stop you from reading them I am going to ask you to wait a bit longer, well more than a bit probably a month to a month and a half depending on how the next memory sessions go. Though I am torn as to whether you should read them before I send you the memories involved or after. I wonder if you reading them before and building a base of knowledge will help recover your memories. I don’t know. I think I will leave this decision up to you. For now I’m going to go back to my book. Have a good week, hope you can make some headway with the Department head.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/5/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: short note  
Draco,

Just wanted to let you know the package with the vial has arrived and I will think about the transcripts. Right now I feel it would be best to wait until after viewing the related memories but that is must my first reaction. I have a meeting with the Head and a few key members of the Wizengamot tomorrow I’ve been prepping for the past two days or I’d write more. Sorry.  
Hermione


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again some of these words, okay many of these words come straight from the books and are strictly the work of the great JKR I hold no claim on them whatsoever and would never dare to, though as it fits this story characters have been changed

1/8/2000

Hermione,

My darling, I apologize if this makes you uncomfortable but I must say it at least this once, it is how I think of you and I feel like you should know that. I am sending a couple of vials of memories from fourth year. The first of my memories that you viewed were from the end of fourth year these will be from summer, the World Cup and the middle of the school year at the Yule Ball. Before you view my memories I’d like for you to show Harry your memories from the World Cup as I imagine they will be different. If I had to venture a guess I’d say that in your memories will be either Theo, Vince, or Greg rather than me. Actually I would be surprised if it’s Theo as he has appeared in other memories, I think the Unspeakable really tried to keep from having one person taking my place. My theory is they thought that that would make it less likely that you would make the connection. Harry has already drawn out a copy of his memories of the same time for you to watch after you view mine. These are memories that I think might result in yours changing much as the memories from first year did, you’ll have to let me know what happens after you make a new copy of your memories in a few days. We’re nearing the end or at least past the halfway point of what I have to share. I’m trying to hold out hope that we will still find the magic button that will bring it all back for you; I may need you to help me stay positive. I’ll leave you with a wish that all goes well this time.  
Always yours,  
Draco

Hermione turned to Harry after reading the letter, “I heard the floo earlier. I assume Poppy is waiting somewhere just in case.”

Harry nodded, “She’s waiting in the kitchen. Kreacher made her some tea. He was thrilled to have someone other than you and me to wait on.”

“So I can also assume that at least one of the memories we will see today have more emotion and Draco is afraid they might again overwhelm me.”

Again he nodded this time continuing, “After the World Cup game everything that happened there. Go ahead and pull out your memories of that day so we can watch them, if you can keep it to just the match and right after that would probably be best.”

She closed her eyes for a several minutes then held her wand to her temple and withdrew a long silvery strand that she sent into the bowl. Harry joined her, chanted over her, and they dove in landing in the top box of the Quidditch World Cup stadium where Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys sat with Fudge, the Bulgarian minister, and Winky the house elf. Edging along the second row to three still-empty seats right behind Mr. Weasley were Vince Goyle with his mother and father. 

“Ah Fudge,” said Mr Malfoy, holding out his hand as he reached the Minister. “How are you? I don’t think you’ve met my wife, Patricia? Or our son, Gregory?”

“How do you do, how do you do?” said Fudge, smiling and bowing to Mrs. Goyle. “And allow me to introduce you to Mr Oblansk - Obalonsk - Mr. - well, he’s the Bulgarian minister of Magic, and he can’t understand a word I’m saying anyway, so never mind. And let’s see who else - you know Arthur Weasley, I daresay?”

It was a tense moment as Mr. Weasley and Mr. Goyle looked at each other. Mr Goyle’s cold eyes swept over Mr. Weasley, and then up and down the row.

“Good lord Arthur,” he said softly. “What did you have to sell to get seats in the Top Box? Surely your house wouldn’t have fetched this much.”

Fudge, who wasn’t listening, said, “William has just given a very generous contribution to St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Arthur. He’s here as my guest.”

“How - how nice,” said Mr. Weasley, with a very strained smile. 

Mr. Goyle’s eyes had returned to young Hermione, who went slightly pink, but stared determinedly back at him. Harry and Hermione both knew what was making Mr. Goyle’s lip curl like that. The Goyles prided themselves on being purebloods; in other words the considered anyone of Muggle descent, like Hermione, second-class. However under the gaze of the Minister of Magic, Mr. Goyle didn’t dare say anything. He nodded sneeringly to Mr. Weasley and continued down the line to his seats. Greg shot Harry, Ron, and Hermione one contemptuous look, then settled himself between his mother and father.

“Slimy gits,” Ron muttered as he, Harry, and Hermione turned to face the field again.

The scene shifted and they were standing in the dark wood. The first sound they heard was Ron yell with pain.

“What happened?” said young Hermione anxiously, stopping so abruptly that Harry walked into her. “Ron where are you? Oh this is stupid - lumos!”

She illuminated her wand and directed its narrow beam across the path. Ron was lying sprawled on the ground.

“Tripped over a tree root,” he said angrily, getting to his feet again.

“Well, with feet that size, hard not to,” said a drawling voice from behind them.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned sharply. Gregory Goyle was standing alone nearby, leaning against a tree, looking utterly relaxed. His arms folded, he seemed to have been watching the scene at the campsite through a gap in the trees.

Ron told Goyle to do something he would never have dared say in front of his mother.  
“Language, Weasley,” said Goyle, his eyes glittering. “Hadn’t you better be hurrying along, now? You wouldn’t want her spotted, would you?”

He nodded at Hermione, and at the same moment, a blast like a bomb sounded from the campsite, and a flash of green light momentarily lit the trees around them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Hermione defiantly.

“Granger, they’re after Muggles,” said Goyle. “D’you want to be showing off your knickers in midair? Because if you do, hang around...they’re moving this way, and it would give us all a laugh.”

“Hermione’s a witch,” Harry snarled.

“Have it your own way Potter,” said Goyle, grinning maliciously. “If you think they can’t spot a Mudblood, stay where you are.”

“You watch your mouth!” shouted Ron.

“Never mind, Ron,” Hermione said quickly, seizing Ron’s arm to restrain him as he took a big step toward Goyle.

There came a bang from the other side of the trees that was louder than anything they had heard. Several people nearby screamed. Goyle chuckled softly.

“Scare easily, don’t they?” he said lazily. “I suppose your daddy told you all to hide? What’s he up to - trying to rescue the Muggles?”

“Where’re your parents?” said Harry, his temper rising. “Out there wearing masks are they?”

Goyle turned his face to Harry, still smiling.

“Well… if they were, I wouldn’t be likely to tell you, would I, Potter?”

“Oh, come on,” said Hermione with a disgusted look at Malfoy, “let’s go and find the others.”

“Keep that big bushy head down, Granger,” sneered Goyle.

“Come on,” Hermione repeated, and she pulled Harry and Ron up the path again.”

“I’ll bet you anything his dad is one of that masked lot!” said Ron hotly.

As young Hermione responded the memory faded and the adults found themselves back in the present.

“That was odd,” she said.

“How?” Harry asked.

“Goyle rarely ever spoke and when he did he never sounded that intelligent. If I had come upon that memory on my own for whatever reason I would have been suspicious. Theo or Blaise would have made more sense, but I guess the Unspeakable didn’t know that. Actually Theo’s father was also a Death Eater so he would have been the best choice. Draco must be right they were trying to keep from making it all about one person that I might have a particularly negative reaction to if I came across them in the course of a normal day. It would have made the most sense to make it Crabbe as he’s the one who tried to kill me and as he’s dead there’s no possibility of my encountering him and saying anything about what he had supposedly done to me,” she paced about the room as she spoke.

Harry considered her, “Maybe you should train for a job as an obliviator or unspeakable. You’re certainly brighter.”

“I’m brighter than over half the staff at the Ministry,” she retorted. “That doesn’t mean I’d want to do to someone else what has been done to me.”

He held up both hands in front of him, “Okay, okay. You’re right. So are you ready to try watching Draco’s memories and see how they differ?”

“And then yours?” she asked.

“We could, or I could just tell you what I remember differently.”

“Let’s decide after watching Draco’s.”

After swapping out the silvery strands they again leapt into the past.

They found themselves again in the top box of the Quidditch World Cup stadium with all of the same people in the box. This time however edging along the second row to three still-empty seats right behind Mr. Weasley were Lucius, Draco, and Narcissa. 

“Ah Fudge,” said Mr Malfoy, holding out his hand as he reached the Minister. “How are you? I don’t think you’ve met my wife, Narcissa? Or our son, Draco?

The rest of the memory carried on much the same with Draco and his parents in the place of Greg and his. Before long they were back in the darkened woods hearing Ron yell in pain. As they watched, young Hermione lit her wand, Ron got to his feet complaining, and the snide comment this time came from the blond who was rapidly becoming a familiar face.

It was Malfoy was standing alone nearby, leaning against a tree, though not looking quite as relaxed as Goyle had. His arms were folded however and he was watching the scene at the campsite through a gap in the trees.

Ron this time told Malfy to do something he would never have dared say in front of his mother. Malfoy responded by commenting on his language and nodding at Hermione while telling them they should get her out of sight. The scene again carried on in much the same way with the main difference being that Malfoy was nearly emotionless while Goyle had been snide and nasty.

When they were once again standing next to the table she looked at him, “So is that what you remember?”

“That is much closer to what I remember.”

“What’s different?”

“I think if we watched my memories the way he spoke would be closer to how Goyle talked in your memories but that could be a matter of perspective. One thing I’ve learned in auror training is you can ask ten different people questions about the same event and get ten slightly if not wildly different versions. The fact that they way he remembers it is just slightly different from how I remember it is really negligible.”

“Negligible?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Auror training,” he answered her unspoken question.

“Now on to the Yule Ball? Do we need to watch my memories of the night first?”

“Not unless you clearly recall any of the Slytherins being there for anything.”

She thought then shook her head, “No, can’t say that I do. I’m sure they were there but I don’t recall noticing any of them at any point.”

“Ok then, let’s try this next one.”

When they landed in the front hall they saw Harry and Ron with Parvati and Padma, off to the side a group of Slytherins came up the front steps from their dungeon common room. Malfoy was in front; he was wearing dress robes of black velvet with a high collar.

“I still think he looks like a vicar,” Harry whispered just barely dodging the elbow that came at his side.

Pansy Parkinson in very frilly robes of pale pink was clutching Malfoy’s arm.

“Pansy came with Blaise,” Hermione said, “at least that’s what I remember.”

Crabbe and Goyle were both wearing green and neither of them had a partner.

The oak front doors opened, and everyone turned to look as the Durmstrang students entered with Professor Karkaroff. Krum was at the front of the party, accompanied by a pretty girl in blue robes. Everyone was whispering to one another trying to figure out who the girl in blue was.

“Granger?” Malfoy said his jaw dropping matched by Pansy at his side not a one of them uttered a word as she walked past them with Krum, the other champions and their dates.

“Who knew she had it in her,” Pansy said snidely, “Of course it must have taken a right load of Sleekeazy’s to get her hair to look like anything other than it’s normal explosion of frizz.”

Draco just hmmed in response still staring after Hermione and the others.

The scene shifted. Harry and Ron were sitting at their table in the Great Hall, with the Patil twins, well with Padma as Parvati had just gotten up and gone to dance with a boy from Beauxbatons. Hermione came and sat in Parvati’s empty chair. She was a bit pink in the face from dancing. 

Unseen by the group at the table a certain blond Slytherin sat down at a table behind theirs with his back to them but his head cocked to hear better.

“It’s hot, isn’t it?” said Hermione, fanning herself with her hand. “Victor’s just gone to get some drinks.”

Ron gave her a withering look, “Victor?” he said. “Hasn’t he asked you to call him Vicky yet?”

Hermione looked at him in surprise, “What’s up with you?” she said.

“If you don’t know,” said Ron scathingly, “I’m not going to tell you.”

Hermione stared at him, then at Harry, who shrugged. The blond shook his head.

“Ron, what-?”

“He’s from Durmstrang!” spat Ron. “He’s competing against Harry! Against Hogwarts! You - you’re-” Ron was obviously casting around for words strong enough to describe Hermione’s crime, “fraternizing with the enemy, that’s what you’re doing!”

Draco stifled a laugh.

Hermione’s mouth fell open.

“Don’t be so stupid!” she said after a moment. “The enemy! Honestly - who was the one who was all excited when they saw him arrive? Who was the one who wanted his autograph? Who’s got a model of him up in their dormitory?”

Ron chose to ignore this. “I s’pose he asked you to come with him while you were both in the library?”

“Yes, he did,” said Hermione, the pink patches on her cheeks glowing more brightly. “So what?”

“What happened - trying to get him to join spew, were you?”

“Spew?” they heard Draco mutter.

“No, I wasn’t! If you really want to know, he - he said he’d been coming up to the library every day to try and talk to me, but he hadn’t beeen able to plck up the courage!”

Hermione said this very quickly, and blushed so deeply that she was the same color as Parvati’s robes.

“Yeah, well - that’s his story,” said Ron nastily.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?

“Obvious, isn’t it? He’s Karkaroff’s student, isn’t he? He knows who you hang around with… He’s just trying to get closer to Harry - get inside information on him - or get near enough to jinz him-”

“Idiot,” Malfoy breathed.

Hermione looked as though Ron had slapped her. When she spoke her voice quivered.

“For your information, he hasn’t asked me one single thing about Harry, not one -”

Ron changed tack at the speed of light.

“Then he’s hoping you’ll help him find out what his egg means! I supposed you’ve been putting your heads together during those cozy little library sessions -”

“I”d never help him work out that egg!” said Hermione, looking outraged, “Never. How could you say something like that - I want Harry to win the tournament, Harry knows that, don’t you, Harry?”

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it,” sneered Ron.

“This whole tournament’s supposed to be about getting to know foreign wizards and making friends with them!” said Hermione hotly.

“No it isnt!” shouted Ron. “It’s about winning!”

People were starting to stare at them.

“Ron,” said Harry quietly, “I haven’t got a problem with Hermione coming with Krum -”

But Ron ignored Harry too.

“Why don’t you go and find Vicky, he’ll be wondering where you are,” said Ron.

“Don’t call him Vicky!”

Hermione jumped to her feet and stormed off across the dance floor.

Malfoy stood shaking his head, said “Bloody fool!” and followed her slowly ambling so as not to seem to be following her. The two adults also followed. They watched young Hermione rush into Myrtle’s loo and Draco stood leaning against a column hidden from sight watching the door to the loo. Once or twice he took a step out from the pillar and towards the door then shook his head and stepped back. After several minutes he vigorously shook his head, laughed ruefully, stepped out and headed back into the Great Hall. As he passed they heard him talking to himself, “Bloody fool, stupid ginger, stupid me too. What was I thinking? Well I wasn’t that’s all, just because she looks like that tonight…” he stopped looked back at the door and then shook his head again firmly and kept on walking. With that the memory faded away.

“Was that it?” she asked.

“That’s all the memories he sent this time,” Harry confirmed, “Guess we didn’t really need Poppy for this one, but better safe than sorry. I’ll go let her know she can get back to Hogwarts. Do you want to go there?”

She shook her head.

“Are you sure? The Floo is going to be open anyway, we could go through.”

“No,” she said, “My memories aren’t that different, the only change was Blaise instead of Draco with Pansy but I don’t remember any of the Slytherins being around when Ron was being a prat so I don’t think it would help, besides unless it was decorated or set up the way it was at the Yule Ball it would just be like it was for so many other memories. All in all this set seemed kind of innocuous. Really what was the point?”

“I think he just wanted you to know that he had started to see and think of you differently by that point. I’ll send Poppy on her way,” he paused at the door, “Do you want to go to the forest from the World Cup?”

Again she shook her head, “No, I can just rewatch those memories if I want, though I don’t know that it’s necessary. Some things just don’t need to be relived.”

“Ok then, I’ll leave you to...whatever.”

She laughed as he left the room and picked up the parchment that had come with the vials to read the letter again. She wondered if he was right and there would be a small change to her own memories this time as with first year but unlike with the first year memories, even though these were smaller and less important she was going to take her time with the viewings. She hated to admit that everyone else was right but it wasn’t worth possible permanent damage to her mind to rush through besides if she took more time she could take the time to write down more of what she was seeing and observing it might help. In that vein she picked up a quill and a blank piece of parchment and began to write.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter I just struggled to find the end to and ended up being much longer than I planned but such is life. Enjoy!

1/9/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: nothing this time  
Draco,  
I’m not sure it will be a surprise but nothing changed in my memories this time. Last time there were more memories to watch I think that might be the difference. I remember the World Cup but I have no memories really of your friends at the Yule Ball other than Blaise escorting Pansy. I clearly recall the argument with Ronald but that’s it. Still there were no negative effects after watching the memories either so that’s good.

I thought I’d get back to asking questions to get to know you better. So here goes:  
What is your favorite animal?  
Who do you admire?  
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?  
Hermione

 

1/9/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: answers  
Hermione,  
My favorite animal hmmm I’d have to say a Krupp. I’ve always wanted one but Mother didn’t want one in the house. Vince had a really sweet Krupp when we were about five that he named Kruppy. I know I know he wasn’t the brightest but he wasn’t always so bad; none of us were. I remember begging to go over to Vince’s house and it wasn’t to play with him though I did enjoy that because he was easy to order around. It wasn’t like playing with Theo or Blaise who I actually had to take turns with, probably why Mother insisted I go to their houses and they come visit while Lucius was more encouraging of my relationship with Vince and Greg. Anyway I helped Vince teach Kruppy how to fetch. I think I was nearly as upset as he was when Kruppy died. He got a letter sixth year, it was in the middle of, well in the middle of everything going on that year. Maybe you should read the trial transcripts or at least some of the stories published in the Prophet. Anyway he read it and told the rest of us, it was the only time I can recall seeing him show that much emotion, any emotion, well other than… well seventh year. I managed to play it cool in front of everyone but when I was able I slipped off to our little nook in the library and cried. It was ridiculous. He wasn’t even my pet, but it hit me so hard.

Who I admire, I’m going to come back to that one because that’s not an easy answer.

Favorite ice cream flavor, that’s much easier though it may seem strange. I love a good fresh churned vanilla. It can be really rich but it’s also a very simple flavor that I think most people don’t appreciate. Of course the other thing I love about it is that it goes with almost any other dessert. Vanilla compliments almost any other flavor be it sweet or savory, chocolate or fruity.

So that leaves me back at who I admire… I admire more than person though it’s not a long list. First I’d have to say my mother. She never took the Mark; she lived through Voldemort living in our house. She lied about Harry being dead to save me. She was never afraid to let me know she loved me more than anything. She would have died for me, my father on the other hand… 

You, I admire you, it had to be tough coming into a world you knew nothing about and dealing with the likes of me and others like me disparaging you. You fought to save us all when so many of our kind would have liked to see you dead. You risked losing your parents forever to keep them safe. You are one of the bravest people I have ever known, definitely a true Gryffindor.

Harry, much as it pains me to admit it I admire Harry. He did die to save everyone. He literally walked into death just to save others. He wasn’t selfish like I was in the war. He didn’t run from the fight. He didn’t try to find another way to end things. Even before the final battle, before that last year I admired him. He stood up to Umbridge; he stood up to Sev. While I hated him for it I admired the way he competed in the TriWizard tournament and the way he played Quidditch.

Sev, I have looked up to him for years but finding out all he did in the war, that he was able to maintain his cover the entire time is just incredible. I’m not saying I approve of everything he did, but I wanted to be a potions master like him and his bravery, his conniving, his skills of deception are mind boggling. 

I’m sure if I kept thinking about it I would come up with other people I admire but this list is long enough for now. If you’d like to answer the questions I’d enjoy reading your answers.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/14/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: loads of time reading

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply but I have been spending most every free moment reading the trial transcripts and articles on the trials that I could get my hands on. I’m shocked that you even suggested reading the Prophet articles, though I did read them, it’s not like they’ve ever been accurate. The Prophet is one of the most ridiculous papers I’ve ever read. They’ll write almost anything if it will sell papers. It’s like Muggle tabloids. The Quibbler can have some really questionable stories as well, it is run by Luna’s father after all and she got her eccentricity from him from what I can tell, and yet their articles on things like the war and the trials are more impartial. Then of course there were articles written in papers in France and Germany as well as other countries. I was able to get some of them and use a translation spell to read them. I believe I have a picture of what happened and why you made the choices you did but I really don’t want to make any assumptions and I will ask you the questions I have, at some point later. I’m working on making a list that I can send to you to answer or that I can ask you after viewing memories from sixth and seventh years. Part of me wants to ask now because it feels almost uncomfortable not knowing but part of me also wants to wait as obviously I knew more once, possibly you’d told me everything you’d felt and explained everything, no matter I stayed in the relationship, put myself in this position for you. Oh my that was quite the run on sentence. I think I’ll stop here for today other than to say I hesitate to tell you this as I haven’t seen all of the memories but between your forthcoming nature with them and our discussions through these emails and your honesty in all of the letters you’ve sent, your sheer and complete honesty and lack of excuses in your testimony before the Wizengamot, I find myself caring for you. 

I will write again in a few days to answer the questions I asked you and then ask you a few more.  
Hermione  
P.S. Harry and I have a “date” tonight to watch our very first Muppet movie. He’s picking it up on his way home from work so I’ll tell you what I think of regular Muppet movies next time.

 

1/14/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: no apology necessary  
Hermione,  
Please, please don’t apologize. You can take as long as you need any time to reply to an email. I make and will make no assumptions as to what you’re doing. I know that you would never just stop replying unless something was really wrong and in that case some one would let me know. You are too kind, too considerate to not at least tell me if you decided to no longer continue. If you had read all of the transcripts and articles and decided not to take a second chance on me I would totally understand. I won’t lie I would be heartbroken, but I would understand. Shock is the only word I have to describe how I felt when you spoke to me after the final battle; I was so sure that I had gone too far, that I had done too much wrong for you to ever forgive me, ever love me again, and I had accepted it as much as I hated it. Ask any questions you want I’ll do my best to answer. Yes some of the answers will be more clear when you see the memories and they are coming but I’ll try to answer even without you seeing them.

I’ve now seen all of the Muppet movies more than once, well all but the newest one that they took me to see in the theatre. I’ll be interested to see what you think of the movies, especially as you enjoy the Christmas Carol.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/15/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: Muppets and questions  
Draco,  
Well we ended up staying up late because Harry managed to pick up three Muppet movies and after watching the first one we just couldn’t stop. We watched them in order. I do have to say this, I will never look at frog legs the same way again. Not that I’ve ever eaten them or used them in a potion but now I’m pretty sure I won’t. I really liked the second one, The Great Muppet Caper. I’m not even sure why, it was so campy and at times corny though I think it was supposed to be that way. Still I think so far it’s my favorite. I can’t decided if I like the end of Muppets Take Manhattan or not. The whole trick wedding, I alternate between thinking it was really cute and sweet and thinking it was just a horrible thing to do then I remember that it’s just a movie.

So I guess now it’s my turn to answer the questions I asked you since I haven’t done that yet. 

What is your favorite animal? Really that should be no surprise. I mean I had Crookshanks. I love cats. Not that I don’t love other animals, I mean I like dogs and krupps but cats and kneazles are my favorite. I think maybe it’s because while I had some kids I talked to before going to Hogwarts I spent most of my time alone and there is just something comforting about sitting with a cat on your lap or curled up next to you. Cats don’t need quite as much attention, or maybe just don’t seem to need attention as often as say dogs.

Who do you admire? I think I’ll do the same as you and come back to this one.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor? It’s so hard to pick just one and harder after entering the wizarding world. I thought Muggles had a lot of flavor options but wizards well there’s just no comparing, though I have to say last time I was in a Muggle ice cream shop they had increased their number of flavors as well. I think at this point I’ve nearly tried them all and yet I keep coming back to a simple chocolate. Much like you like vanilla. I like the flavor of a pure chocolate ice cream freshly churned. It can also go with most any other dessert.

So who do I admire...well I do admire Snape for all he did to help in the war though I still intensely dislike him and as I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead I’ll refrain from saying any more. Harry is a given, as you said he was willing to give up his life to save all of us. Neville never gives up and has really come into himself. My parents, McGonagall, Kingsley, your aunt Andromeda, so many people.

Ok so your turn again:  
What are your dreams for your retirement?  
What is your proudest moment?  
What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?   
Hermione

 

1/15/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: hmm more questions  
Hermione,

I like a good chocolate ice cream too get the right one and you only need a very small amount for it to be satisfying. Even better a good rich vanilla and a good rich chocolate just a small scoop of each. They go together as well as we used to.

So my dreams for retirement. I really don’t know. Once upon a time, in the first few years at school I wanted to be like Lucius and never really have a job outside managing the Malfoy family accounts. However as time went I obviously wanted to distance myself from him and I realized I was not just good at potions but that I really enjoyed the challenge. I spoke with Severus many times about my interest and about how he got to where he was, though of course I found out later that he wasn’t honest with me. He’d told me that he was simply not able to get a position in a reputable shop after the first Wizarding World. He was known to be a part of Voldemort’s followers though not a known Death Eater. Obviously now I know that was all a load of shite and yet at the time it gave me hope, well until I got in too deep on my own and spent the last few years just trying to get by, most of that time just trying to stay alive. All this to say I really haven’t thought about retirement but I will think about it now that you’ve brought it up.

Proudest moment is actually even harder. I really don’t have many moments I can be proud of in my life so far. I’ve made some incredibly bad decisions in my life. I’ve also stood passively by watching horrible things happen and not saying or doing anything to stop them. I’m really not even proud of my choice to come here to get away from everything, not being brave enough to live as a Muggle. However every day I go into work is a proud one. The first time Martha trusted me to brew on my own without double checking. The day she left Terry and I in charge while she took a day off, those are probably my proudest moments right now. 

My favorite thing to do with my spare time, well that’s changed through the years. When I was little my favorite thing to do at home when I wasn’t in tutoring or sessions with Lucius about family or Pureblood honor I loved to fly or play hide and seek in the garden with the house elves. If I could get away from the house I’d go play with Vince and Kruppy. Once we got to Hogwarts I’m ashamed to admit now my favorite hobby those first few years was annoying Harry and picking on anyone I could. I was certainly my father’s son. Fifth year it was all about spending time with you whenever we could swing it. I really didn’t have spare time sixth or seventh year. Recently my first choice of time is reading your emails and responding, watching movies, exploring the internet, and spending time with my new friends. Books have always been a constant for me. Over all I think I have a much better balance and much healthier for that matter to my life now.

I have no new questions so why don’t you answer these.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/17/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: questions  
You’ve said not to worry about apoliogizing so I won’t but I will explain that I didn’t get back to you yesterday because I had to stay late at work and by the time I got home I just crawled in bed.

I’m beginning to regret being the one to start asking the questions because now I have to answer them as well. I might just have to take that into account with the next round I ask.

My retirement dreams I’d like to travel wherever I want, whenever I want, for as long as I want without having to be back home at any specific times. I do have to say with portkeys and apparating it is easier to make long trips for a short amount of time than if you use Muggle transportation but as long as I’m working I’d still have to report back by a certain time only being allowed a certain number of days off in a given year. It would be amazing to wake up one morning and decide to go to say Egypt, be there by afternoon, stay and explore until we decide we want to go to say China and go there for as long as we want. I’d also like to visit all the great libraries of the world. See the other wizarding schools and historical places. I’m also hoping I have grandchildren to spoil, possibly great nieces and nephews too. 

My proudest moment is probably finding my parents and repairing their memories. Actually being able to do that made me proud of the fact that I had managed to keep them safe by modifying their memories to begin with. I did that not knowing if I would be able to get them back if anyone would be able to. I also wasn’t sure that it wouldn’t still lead to a hearing with the Wizengamot, I was after all performing magic on Muggles which is strictly forbidden outside of necessity by the Ministry itself.

In my spare time I read, more than anything else that is. Of course I also do yoga regularly now. I visit my parents occasionally. Harry and I and other friends watch movies at his place or go out to see them. I also spend time online, emailing you or just surfing.

So questions, you know what… I think this time I’ll let you ask questions. I know I started because you know me better than I know you but there have to be some things we’ve never talked about so you ask.  
Hermione

 

1/21/00  
To: hg/9ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: my turn

It’s my turn to do more than ask questions. It’s my turn to apologize. It shoudl be so easy to check in for just a minute and send a quick note that I’ll be super busy at work but when I can barely make it through the door with my eyes open there’s just no way I can let you know, except I suppose I could have called and left you a voice mail but I honestly didn’t think of that until just now. Martha had me brew up a particularly difficult potion one that needs to brew for 48 hours, needing to be stirred every 3, and ingredients added at seemingly random times. I didn’t have to stay awake. I could have crashed on a cot in the lab but I just couldn’t bring myself to sleep then of course when I finally got home I passed out and slept for a whole day. This may be my newest proud moment though as when I arrived at the shop today she told me it was perfect.

Questions for you, when I was trying to stay awake I racked my brain trying to come up with some. You’re right there are many things we never talked about, never seemed to be the right time. I think I’ve finally settled on three.

What is your dream date?  
If you could have dinner with any historical figure who would it be and what would you talk about?  
If you were to get a tattoo, magical or Muggle what would you get and why?

Take your time and feel free to ask me other questions in return.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/22/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: interesting questions

You either have done some thinking about questions you might ask me or you spend some time searching online for getting to know you questions. Either way interesting choices that I do naturally expect you to answer as well.

My dream date - I’m a bit surprised this never came up when we were seeing one another, but I suppose we were concentrating on making it to the next day or year as the case may be. If we weren’t telling anyone about us then I guess we weren’t planning on being seen together in public which would be necessary for a date. I don’t know that I’ve ever given it much thought. I think a lot of dating is unnecessary, the formal going out and being seen just seems superfluous. I like just being able to spend time with someone talking. Movies are always good. I think though my dream date would be a full day affair. Breakfast somewhere quiet, spending the morning wandering the stacks of a good bookshop together, looking at books, and discussing authors. Lunch at a sidewalk cafe or bistro. Afternoon strolling the streets window shopping, maybe stopping for an ice cream cone. Dinner in a little out of the way place no one will interrupt us at. Then the theatre, a live show, something Broadway. I have a fondness for musicals. A walk in the moonlight along the Thames to end the evening and of course a goodnight kiss.

I’m skipping to the third question. I don’t see myself ever getting a tattoo magical or Muggle. I’m not completely ruling it out for some point in the future but I’ve never seen an image or been so attached to someone that I wanted their name permanently on my body. Magical I’ve found really are permanent whereas for witches and wizards there are ways to get rid of Muggle tattoos that are much simpler and much less painful than Muggle ways.

Dinner with an historical figure, there are just so many choices it’s nearly impossible to pick just one. I’d almost love to have a dinner party of historical figures but then I really wouldn’t be able to talk to all of them as much as I’d like so that’s not really the best plan. Ugh I really don’t know. If I had to pick on just off the top of my head Queen Victoria, and I’m not even sure why or what I’d ask her. My other first thought is Joan of Arc. I’d so love to talk to the four founders of Hogwarts, to Merlin and Morgana, to King Arthur himself.

Ok now it’s your turn to answer your own questions and ask more if you dare. By the way you also owe me no apologies. Life gets in the way sometimes I understand that. Just promise that if anything is ever wrong you will let me know even if it means calling me at some odd time of day, or call Harry. If for no other reason than so we can let your mother know.  
Hermione

 

1/22/00  
To: hg/9ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: my turn, wonderful…

So now I understand how you felt having to answer your own questions and I would feel sorry for having you ask them but we are getting to know each other and you did say you find yourself beginning to care for me so I can’t regret that and so I will answer the questions and even ask more no matter how hard they are to answer.

My dream date, actually I think yours sounds absolutely perfect even having never been to the theatre. I might add in some time flying but you don’t really like to fly I know. Though maybe I could get you to go with me on the same broom; you’d be fine. I can fly nice and gentle, not too low, not too high, not to fast, not too slow, it would be a just right.

Tattoos: I’ve had more than enough with tattoos having only had one and then only by choice if you can call it that when it’s completed under duress. While it has faded to a silvery grey, it is still visible so if I could cover it with magical or Muggle means I might other than that no, just no.

Historical figure: Merlin is the first that comes to mind. I’d like to know what Hogwarts was like in his time. Was being a Slytherin a hindrance then, at school or out in the adult world. I’d like to know if the tales of he and King Arthur are true in any way. What was it like to be able to live openly as a wizard in the world rather than hiding from Muggles what we can do.

I did not look online for questions, hadn’t even thought of that but now I’m wondering if you have at all. I will admit to asking my friends at the shop for suggestions though.

Ok next round of questions:  
What do you have a hard time with that most people find easy?  
What do you have an easy time with that many people find hard?  
What is your favorite drink?

Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/24/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: hmmm

I confess I did look on the internet for some ideas after the first few rounds of questions I asked. I found a bunch but not that many that I was really interested in the answers. I suppose I should have tried asking people. Maybe when it’s my turn to ask again.

I have never made friends as easily as other people. I obviously have friends, close friends, but it seems to happen almost by accident for me or due to their efforts not my own. I can be abrasive and bossy, I am well aware of it and as I’ve gotten older I have tried to curb that at least with those I don’t know, ha ha. No, even with my friends unless we’re in the middle of a heated discussion I try to make an effort to think before I speak now. Whether or not I’m succeeding is probably up for interpretation but I try. I certainly try much more carefully with those I don’t know. My parents both seem to make friends easily and are able to converse with those they don’t know well seemingly with no problem so I don’t know why I’m so different. Honestly becoming friends with Harry and Ron was really just happenstance. If they hadn’t stuck that troll in the girls’ loo with me then realized I was there and come back to save me, well things would be much different now. Ron hated me before that, just that afternoon he’d made nasty comments to Harry about me. Harry was neither hers nor there, I think we might have eventually bonded for the fact that we were so out of our element. Fred, George, Ginny were all just part of being friends with Harry and Ron though I have gotten closer to Ginny on my own through the years. Neville, I’m not even sure, and Luna… oh Luna.. you don’t choose to be or try to be Luna’s friend you just are, most often because she decides you are.

Easy that other people find hard, well school. I’ve always enjoyed learning and the vast majority of what I’ve learned comes easily to me. The only class I’ve ever really struggled in was Potions, but it seems I’m just to by the book for potions. Other than that I know I drove my housemates crazy with my study habits and really I don’t need to study as much as I do but I do. My parents didn’t have ridiculously high expectations for me but they are dentists, they both have a lot of schooling. They didn’t pressure me to do well but I felt the pressure nonetheless.

My favorite drink well that’s much easier by comparison, ha ha. I love lemonade, fresh squeezed. I also love butterbeer with extra ginger.

Now it’s your turn.  
Hermione

Oh before I forget you have to rent Sword and the Stone, it’s a Disney movie and Merlin is in it. It’s an animated feature. I don’t know if you’ve seen any of those year but they’re not live action they’re moving drawings. It really is better than it sounds. I actually really like it.

 

1/25/00  
To: hg/9ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: beginning to regret this question thing

I know this whole thing was my idea to begin with so that you could get to know me better but I’m not sure I like it anymore. No really it’s interesting to read your answers, it’s just racking my brain at the end of the day trying to come up with my answers that is making me crazy. I suppose I could wait and answer in the morning when I’m fresh but there’s just something about ending my day with an email from you.

It seems obvious to me why we got along so well when I stopped being a complete arse to you and your friends and started to actually talk and listen to you. I make acquaintances easily, early on at school I picked up minions easily, it was what Lucius raised me to do after all. Never risk getting too close to anyone, providing them with things they can use against you. It was people like Blaise and Theo refusing to take on that submissive role, Theo because he was raised the same way I was and Blaise because he just thought better of himself than to take on that role. They were the ones that pushed me to be more myself to get to know myself and them better than I did with Vince and Greg. Don’t get me wrong I did grow to like both Vince and Greg as more than minions though I continued to use them in that manner as they let themselves and it was almost too easy not to, not my most proud moments those. 

Studying was easy, it was drilled into my head from the time I could read. I also enjoy learning, well most things there were classes I had to actually study to get good marks but overall school is easy for me.

My favorite drink, glad I threw in an easy one, I like lemonade but I prefer tea, living her in the American south I’ve even come to like it iced though I still can’t drink it sweet the way they do for which most of my coworkers harass me regularly. When it comes to anything alcoholic, something I can’t do here as the drinking age is 21, or at least not something I can do in public. If given the choice however I prefer Ogden’s Firewhiskey.

The video store is looking to see if they can find me a copy of Sword and the Stone if not I mentioned it at work and Claire thinks a cousin of hers may have a copy. I’ll let you know after I watch it.

I’m out of questions so it’s up to you if you have more you want to ask or if you just want to talk about our days when we write.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/27/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: Just one question  
I’ve noticed that you always refer to your father as Lucius and you always call your mother Mother. Do you ever call them Mum and Dad or even Father? Why do you call your father by his first name? You don’t do that with your mother.  
Hermione

 

1/28/00  
To: hg/9ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: interesting question

In front of others I call both of my parents Mother and Father, in private I tend not to call Lucius anything. I don’t know. I know Harry testified that he wanted to come in and save me during the final battle but looking back on how I was raised and everything he put us right in the middle of I just don’t see him as a father, certainly never a dad. Those two words have a rather different connotation to me. A father raises you, pays the bills, does his fatherly duty and attends any event necessary but is much more formal with you, more hands off. A dad on the other hand is, well, hands on. A dad is there reading stories, telling stories, playing with you. My mother was much more a parent to me if only when Lucius was not home to see her dote on me. I have on occasion called her Mum when it is just the two of us but never in front of anyone else and never when talking about her to anyone else. That strict formal Pureblood upbringing I suppose, or maybe not Theo’s mother died when he was young and he calls her Mum. Pansy when she’s getting along with her parents calls them Mum and Papa. Blaise seldom calls his mother anything and never has a stepfather long enough to call them anything but their first name whatever it may be and if he can even remember it. Maybe it was just my family after all. I really don’t know. 

I suppose I’ll hear from you again on Sunday after you view the next memories.  
Always yours,  
Draco


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again some of the words come straight from one of the HP books with only slight changes. I make NO claim on JKR’s words I wouldn’t dare

My dear Hermione,

Just a few short memories to view today, ones I wish I didn’t have to send you but I know I do. I hate that you will see this side of me. I hate that you will see what I used to be, but I’m sure you could figure it out on your own anyway from all that you have seen so far. I will stop here and ask you to view them then finish reading.

She rolled up the small piece of parchment, stuck it in her pocket, and met Harry at the pensieve.

They were soon standing on the Quidditch pitch where the Gryffindor and Slytherin teams were glaring at each other. Ron and Hermione were crossing the grass to see what was going on.

“What’s happening?” Ron asked Harry. “Why aren’t you playing? And what’s he doing here?” 

He was looking at Malfoy, taking in his Slytherin Quidditch robes,

“I’m the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley,” said Malfoy, smugly. “Everyone’s just been admiring the brooms my father’s bought our team.”

Ron gaped, open-mouthed, at the seven superb broomsticks in front of him.

“Good, aren’t they?” said Malfoy smoothly. “But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives; I expect a museum would bid for them.”

The Slytherin team howled with laughter.

“At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in,” said Hermione sharply. “They got in on pure talent.”

The smug look on Malfoy’s face flickered.

“No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood,” he spat.

Flint dove in front of Malfoy to stop Fred and George jumping on him, Alicia shrieked, “How dare you!”, and Ron plunged his hand into his robes, pulled out his wand, yelling, “You’ll pay for that one, Malfoy!” and pointed it furiously under Flint’s arm at Malfoy’s face.

Hermione yanked Harry’s hand and pulled him with her out of the memory.

“No, this is another modified one, though the way I remember it, it was Blaise. His mother bought his way onto the team with the brooms. It was Blaise when I think about it. Do you want to see it?”

Harry shook his head, “At this point no, I don’t think that’s necessary. I believe you. Ready to go on?”

She nodded and back in they dove landing in the Slytherin common room where little Draco was studying by the fire with Blaise and Theo when Crabbe and Goyle came running in.

“The Heir got Granger!” they shouted.

“Is she dead?” Draco asked.

“No, just petrified.”

“How do you know?” Blaise asked.

“Everyone knows,” Crabbe scoffed.

“Everyone who’s been out in the corridors,” Goyle added, “everyone was sent back to their houses and not told why but someone had seen her in the hall and it’s spreading like wildfire.”

“Yeah, it was her and some fifth year Ravenclaw,” Crabbe said.

“If the Heir found them why aren’t they dead?” Theo asked, “How is it no one has died? Didn’t this happen before and someone died? Everyone now is just petrified.”

“No one knows,” Flint said as he came in the room. “The only thing we know this time is they were found in the hallway and had a mirror with them.”

“A mirror?” Draco said. “They had a mirror?”

“They’re girls,” Flint jeered, “they were probably using it to fix themselves up.”

“It would take more than a mirror to fix Granger,” someone said snidely.

“Granger wouldn’t bother with a mirror for that,” Draco said. “Don’t you all get it? Don’t you see it? Haven’t you figured it out. Some Mudblood had it figured out before all of us. We should have known first, we’re Slytherins after all.”

“What are you blathering on about Malfoy,” Flint said.

“A basilisk.”

“What?”

“The monster from the chamber set loose by the Heir is a basilisk.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It makes perfect sense. Slytherin was a Parselmouth. He loved snakes. A basilisk is a snake, a gigantic snake. If you look it in the eye it kills you, but if you look at it some other way…”

“Like in a mirror,” Pansy piped up.

“Yes,” Draco said, “you’d only be petrified. How in the bloody hell did a Mudblood figure it out before any of us? She’s not that smart is she? How can a Mudblood be that smart? She had to have just stumbled on the answer right? Or maybe that Ravenclaw told her? I could see one of those superior twits figuring it out, but they’d tell Flitwick or some other professor.”

“Granger would to.”

“Would she?” Draco asked, “or would she go running to bloody Potter and the Weasel and tell them.”

“Does it really matter?” Flint asked.

“No,” Draco insisted, “it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Who cares? We know now so we can all be careful. We spread the word here and tell everyone to keep their eyes on the ground unless they’re in the house or a classroom. You never know where this thing will strike next,” Daphne said. “We take care of our own.”

“Like the Heir would attack a Slytherin,” Blaise laughed in disbelief.

“Whoever it is might not do it on purpose,” Draco said, “but if that thing is roaming the halls we have to be on guard.”

“Should we tell someone?” came a small voice though no one could tell quite from where.

“Why? Let the other houses fend for themselves, they wouldn’t tell us if they knew.”

“What about Snape? What if something happened to him because we didn’t tell him?”

“No, we keep this to ourselves. We don’t tell a professor no matter who it is.”

They nodded their heads in agreement, as the scene faded away.

“That was…” Harry said as they stood by the table once more.

“I know,” she replied, “they were right though, to a point. We may have told a professor. You definitely would have gone running off to try and stop it, no wait, you did do that. But would anyone have gone to tell the Slytherins or would we have let them hang until the teachers told them? We would have told other students from Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff if we saw them. I did tell Penelope, but I don’t know that even I would have told a Slytherin. There was a lot of bad blood between their house and the rest and I’m starting to really realize it wasn’t all their fault. Are we done for today?”

“Unless you want to go visit the Quidditch pitch?”

She shook her head.

“Then we’re done and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Thank you Harry. I don’t know that I’ve said that to you in all of this, but thank you!”

“You’re welcome Mione. You should probably read the end of that letter now.”

She nodded and opened it back up as he left the room.

I hope that you have finished viewing the memories and not simply continued reading. I know your inquisitive nature could lead you to do just that but I trust that you did not. If so there is just one thing left to say and I know you know what that is but I’m going to say it anyway.

Remember me Hermione.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm rushing to get as much of this done as possible before I start NaNo with my students on Thursday. I have one more chapter complete and one almost done, this story won't be done but hopefully I can knock out at least a bit more before switching up. Good luck to all other NaNoers!


	20. chapter 20

1/29/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: memories  
I understand why you were embarrassed to send me those memories but you’re right I’m not shocked. I actually understand why you all didn’t tell anyone else; you were right no one would have directly warned anyone in your house, at least no Gryffindor would have. I have to think the professors would have shared the information and maybe there were Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs that were more friendly with your house. Maybe not friendly even but more civil than the contentious relationship between our two houses.

I really am out of questions and at this moment out of ideas but if there is something you want to talk about feel free to… ok I do have one question and I’ve been hesitating to ask you but I think I have to because I assume that if the answer is yes that you won’t be sending any memories of those times since Harry is viewing the memories with me or maybe you would just to try and get a rise out of him? No, you wouldn’t do that; you’d keep it private. Anyway since I saw the Christmas and birthday memories I’ve been wondering if we were ever more intimate than just the kissing in those memories. I hate to think that I no longer have those memories. The idea of losing the memory of losing my virginity is strangely more disturbing than anything I’ve seen already, that might be because I hate to think of someone digging in my head and viewing those memories themselves to remove them. I just don’t think I have the fortitude to be an exhibitionist. I’d ask you to tell me we never were no matter if it’s the truth or a lie but I do want the truth so please tell me.  
Hermione

 

1/30/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: response and idea

Have no fear, even if those memories existed I would not send them for you to view with Potter. I’d wait until your memory returned or should it not I would send them for you to view at some point when I could be with you. However I can honestly tell you they do not exist. I know there were students at school that managed to find hidden corners to do more than snog but we never did. We never really tried. Even with out little version of the Room of Requirement we didn’t. I don’t know how you felt or why you never tried more but I, well I was afraid. It’s not that I didn’t want to make love to you, that you didn’t tempt me because you did, incredibly so. I could probably go into more detail but I won’t, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and we’re clearly not at the point of talking of such things again. I was afraid though; I was afraid you would come to your sense and realize I was all wrong for you. I was afraid that you would run when you knew what I was becoming be it by my own choice or not. I… well I’m sure we’ll come back to this after the next memories.

In the meantime I had an idea. Have you ever heard of speed dating?

Always yours,  
Draco

 

1/31/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: speed dating???

I am familiar with the concept wanna explain how that relates to us?  
Hermione

 

1/31/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: speed dating

We’ve each been spending all kinds of time answering questions and I don’t know about you but I’m doing it before bed and then after I send it I think of other answers and then I can’t get to sleep.

Claire was telling us about a speed dating event she and her sister went to recently and I thought maybe we could try something similar. Kind of a combo of a word association thing with a time limit. None of our answers can take more than a minute or two to type. I’m thinking we list three things and the other person has to answer in as short a response as possible, just mayb the first three things that come to mind so you don’t ahve to think too hard to come up with the list either. You up for trying it? You can come up with the first list or I can. We can eachend our emails with a new list. The only thing I guess we’d have to decide is do we respond to our own list or not. I think it would be faster not to and that doesn’t mean we can’t then list something the other person had said. I hope that makes sense because as I read it back it seems garbled. Anyway, just tell me what you think.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

2/1/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: sure

Yes, what you wrote made sense. well after I read it a time or three ha ha. I’m game to try it. I say you go first coming up with a list. I also think we only respond to each other’s lists and not our own. So whenever you’re ready…  
Hermione

 

2/2/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 1  
Here you go:

stranded on a deserted island what one thing would you want with you, soup or salad, favorite vegetable 

Always yours,  
Draco

 

2/3/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 1 

stranded on a deserted island what one thing would you want with you: no qualifications? a computer with internet access, realistically magical: my wand, Muggle: a Swiss army knife

soup or salad: salad in warm weather, soup in cool weather

favorite vegetable: broccoli, even better with cheese

your turn: dream vacation, indoors or outdoors, perfect sandwich

 

2/4/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 1  
dream vacation - anywhere with you… preferably away from everyone else, cabin in the woods, chalet in the mountains, hut on a private island or at least a sparsely populated island or beach

indoors or outdoors - once upon a time I would have said indoors but after the year of being forced to stay inside at both Hogwarts and at home and both places I often hid out in my room. Now I spend as much time outside as I can or at the very least I spend quite a bit of time in my flat with the doors open to the patio and all the windows open letting the fresh air flow through

perfect sandwich - I have discovered an amazing sandwich here in New Orleans, the Po Boy, you can get it more than one way but my favorite is the deep fried shrimp variety. It’s messy and salty and tangy with the sauce. You simply can’t eat it and be formal, or proper, or refined. It’s just a fun sandwich

you’re up: biggest pet peeve, favorite muppet. top 3 “before I die”

 

2/4/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 2  
biggest pet peeve - right now it’s filling out meters of parchment that no one will truly read but must be filled out for anything to actually even begin to happen or for anyone to even think of anything beginning to happen in this Merlin forsaken government here

favorite muppet - Rowlf the dog, don’t know why for sure, he just is

top 3 “before I die” - now that’s a tougher one  
Have children and grandchildren  
Make an actual difference in the lives of magical creatures  
visit the world’s most ancient monuments/structures

back to you: most ridiculous rule you’ve ever had to follow, favorite thing to do on the internet, cake or pie

 

2/6/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 3  
most ridiculous rule you’ve ever had to follow - considering Lucius that’s a tough one but I’d have to say wearing shoes in the house at all times, Merlin forbid you be caught by an unexpected visitor in your stocking feet nevermind that we never answered the door that was always done by the house elves so we would have had plenty of warning

favorite thing to do on the internet - just exploring all that’s on there

cake or pie - pie, pumpkin pie to be exact

now you: black tea or oolong, chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies, Star Wars or Star Trek

 

2/7/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 4  
black tea or oolong - not to be difficult by neither I prefer herbal teas

chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies - again not to be difficult but both, as in oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips instead of raisins

Star Wars or Star Trek - oh yes because that’s a valid option, really? Come on has to be both

try these: best superhero, favorite fruit, museum - art or history

By the way I’m really enjoying this, it’s been a fun end to my day.

 

2/9/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 4  
best superhero - I have no idea, I guess that means I need to do some internet research, ask me again in a few weeks

favorite fruit - strawberries

museum - art or history - that’s harder but I’d have to say history, actually I think wizarding kind needs more history museums and not just classes or books

every time I think I’m running out of ides, I don’t somehow: treacle tart, pumpkin juice, charms

 

2/10/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 5

treacle tart - Harry’s favorite, I don’t know it’s just too sweet for me

pumpkin juice - and this isn’t sweet enough for me

charms - as in magical, I think they can be quite useful

ok next three: favorite season, sun or rain, mountains or beach

 

2/10/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 5  
favorite season - winter, should have been obvious I suppose with my love of Christmas

sun or rain - partly sunny or a light drizzle. I’m not fond of full sun or of a pouring rain but something more in between

mountains or beach - after going to Terry’s family home for Thanksgiving I have to say mountains, I like the beach but there’s just something about the mountains, every view is different, you never know what you’ll find when you climb or go through the forest on the sides. 

The ideas do come easier than I thought they would: country or city, do you call it soft drink, fizzy drink, or pop, lake or ocean

 

2/11/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 6  
country or city - again I sound difficult, I think I actually prefer small towns over the city or the country

do you call it soft drink, fizzy drink, or pop - On the rare occasion I had the chance to have one I’ve called it fizzy drink but I wouldn’t say I actually have a particular choice of word as it isn’t part of my regular diet since it wasn’t allowed when I was a kid for fear it would ruin my teeth

lake or ocean - that’s not so easy, I like the quiet of the lake but you never know what might be at the bottom, I also like the sound of the waves but the beach is usually too crowded to hear them and then there are also sea creatures that I know are there and don’t want to encounter, give me a pool so I can see the bottom and know there’s nothing in there that will bite me or sting me.

Umm try these: pop music, author, opera

 

2/11/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 6  
pop music - I prefer it to country music, but really I prefer jazz

author - I don’t know that I have a favorite author as I’m really now exploring Muggle fiction but I have recently discovered Stephen King. I didn’t think I’d want to read horror or thriller books after the war but there’s just something about his writing that draws me in, and maybe it’s just a nice change to read about the horrors of someone else’s life

Opera - this may surprise you but I only go to the opera under duress, while I enjoy live theater I do not enjoy opera, in part because even when it’s in a language I speak or understand once the soprano starts singing I often lose the words in those high notes

Your turn again: Floo travel, horses, brooms

 

2/12/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 7  
Floo travel - makes me a bit nauseous but I prefer it to portkeys, which are much more disorienting

horses - I love horses, always have, not great at riding them but I do love them

Brooms - I am not comfortable on a broom, it just doesn’t feel as safe as other modes of transportation. I honestly prefer riding on a thestral, or course that might be because I can see them, if I couldn’t I doubt I’d be so comfortable

Back to you: portkeys, wine, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor beans

 

2/13/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 7  
Portkeys - I’ve used them but like I you I find them rather disorienting, I have found that the more I use them the more I get used to it and the quicker I recover

Wine - I learned growing up when to serve red and when to serve white just in case I was ever without a house elf or other house help but I’ve never been a big wine drinker

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor beans - when I’m feeling adventurous I’ll try them, though anymore I nibble just the end off rather than pop the whole thing in my mouth

photography, painting, chocolate frogs

 

2/13/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 8  
Photography - I’ve loved taking pictures since I was a little girl, my parents gave me a camera when for Christmas one year. I’ve just recently learned to develop photos the magical way. I think that almost more than anything just amazed me when I first started exploring wizarding society, it’s like watching a short video clip. I love that it makes it easier to capture a full moment and not just a mere second in time like Muggle photos do, though I still love taking still photos too there is something “magical” about catching a bird in flight or an animal mid-run or mid-jump. I mostly prefer to take pictures of nature now however I imagine one day I will be taking pictures of children so I’m trying to get the hang of taking pictures of things in movement be they Muggle or magical photos.

Painting - I’m not good at painting, I’ve tried but I just don’t draw or paint well, I do enjoy looking at paintings though, at least paintings of real things. I don’t really get abstract art

chocolate frogs - my guilty pleasure that I don’t know that even Harry or Ron know about, maybe you did, though since you’re asking I’m guessing you didn’t. Growing up with very limited sugar I didn’t really notice the lack as I just never had it but chocolate frogs are so smooth, though I was horrified at first at eating something moving and I know that’s just a charm they aren’t really alive but it still bothered me, now I don’t even think about it.

What about brunch, book genre, marriage

 

2/14/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 8  
Brunch - on weekends, especially on Sundays I think it’s perfect

book genre - right now as I said I’m into Stephen King, so I’d say horror, thriller, or suspense. I also enjoy historical books, I’ve read some interesting ones about New Orleans since being here, both Muggle and wizard written

Marriage - On the whole I’d say I like the idea, I don’t know if I’d be any good at it. It’s not that I had many good examples. My parents marriage was well I don’t know, I think they truly cared for each other but love? I was raised that marriage was more about solidifying your place in society, about maintaining standards, including Pureblood standards, but that’s not the kind of marriage I want. I want it to actually mean something not be merely a business transaction.

On to other things: newspapers, kids, camping

 

2/15/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 9  
Newspapers - depends on the paper, while I routinely roll my eyes reading the Quibbler, I have to say when old Xeno prints something that is actual news he is pretty impartial, or at least more impartial than the Daily Prophet but I still read the papers daily, if for no other reason than to know what stupidity is being spread

Kids - 2 with an option for 3 I think, not that I disliked being an only child but I always kind of wanted a sibling

Camping - ummm after that year on the run I’m not sure I ever want to camp in a tent again. Now if you want to camp in a nice cabin or maybe in a recreational vehicle I might consider it, all in all I think I’d prefer a nice hotel room though

Umm sports: Quidditch, football, American football

 

2/16/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 9  
Quidditch - well obviously I love it

Football - don’t know much about it other than here they call it soccer 

American football - Terry and John did show me a game, they actually took me to a game at the stadium here, I don’t know it seems, well as dangerous as Quidditch is, this seems more so, it also seems to move faster than football/soccer. It’s interesting but all in all I think I prefer Quidditch

I think at this point I’m going to start taking some of the ideas you asked me about so: superheroes, quidditch, wine

 

2/17/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: round 10  
Superheroes - Wonder Woman, there is no other choice, of course I don’t know of many other superheroes but Mum loved Wonder Woman and introduced me to her

Quidditch - I don’t know, it’s not that I don’t enjoy going to matches but I don’t know, it’s ok I guess but I’ve never been a huge sports fan. I do get caught up in watching when I’m at a game but I don’t spend any other time thinking or talking about it like some fans do.

Stealing your idea and sending some of your words back to you: favorite vegetable, black tea or oolong, pumpkin juice

 

2/18/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: Round 10  
Favorite vegetable - potatoes, almost any way they’re cooked I love potatoes

Black tea or oolong - straight black tea, no milk or sugar, and hot although as warm as it can be here I have begun to develop an affinity for iced tea so long as it’s not sweetened which horrifies most everyone here.

Pumpkin juice - I love it

I’ll refrain from sending any more words until after you view the next memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of what I have all done, the next chapter is started but I won't be working on it again until I reach my word count goal for this year's NaNo, speaking of I could use a Beta for that story, it's going to be a Drarry when I get to that point LOL


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a chance to finish the next chapter now that NaNo is over. Trigger Warning for cutting/self-harm.

2/19/2000

My dear Hermione,  
The memories I’m sending with this letter are those that I am least proud of and that in all honesty you were least happy with me and still in some way I think you understood. You told me you did after the fact anyway, after the war when we were able to talk, which wasn’t often. Sixth year was one of the hardest of my life as I felt so alone and yet I always knew that I had you if I only asked for you to be there for me, that was what made that year slightly better than the following year. Still I wish I did not have to share these with you again. If you think less of me after you see them know that I think the same of myself.  
Always yours,  
Draco

They landed in a room with several four poster beds the green curtains a sign that they were clearly in a Slytherin dorm room.

The not so young blonde sat on his bed, head in his hands, looking up at the sudden crack, and gaping when Dobby appeared in the room.

“Master Draco sir, Miss Hermione is wanting to see you sir. She is sending me to tell you she wants to talk to you sir. She is very insistent.”

Draco looked down at his forearm, what was there they could not see as it was covered by his long shirt, though the two exchanged a glance because they knew what he was hiding. 

“I can't. I can't see her,” he said quietly, “you have to tell her.”

“No no no,” Dobby replied. “No sir Master Draco is sure Miss Hermione will be very angry. Sir must go see her.”

Draco just started shaking his head and repeating no. The little elf disappeared. What seemed only seconds later there came a crack and Dobby reappeared with Hermione at his side. He said to her, “You just be calling Dobby’s name when you is needing to leave and I will be coming to get you.” With that he disappeared again.

Hermione took out her wand and waved it at the door, sealing it so that no one else could enter.

Draco sat staring at her wide-eyed. “What are you doing here?”

 

She said, “I had to.”

“You had to?”

“You wouldn’t come out,” she replied simply. “You’ve been avoiding me. You haven’t even looked at me once since we returned. I had to know what was going on.”

“It's for your own good. You can’t be near me anymore. It's for your own safety.”

“I can watch out for my own safety thank you very much. I'm worried about you Draco. You're not eating, you're not studying, you hide from everyone even when you’re in the same room with them. What's going on?”

When he didn't respond she got down on her knees in front of him taking his hands in hers and looking up into his eyes, “Talk to me. I'm here. I love you! Whatever it is I can help you.”

He jerked his hands out of hers and scrambled back on the bed furiously shaking his head, “No, no you can't help me! Not with this! You can't, no one can! No one can help me! You just have to stay away from me!”

“You're not making any sense,” she said.

He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them and looked at her again, “You have to just trust me. You know I wouldn't lie to you, that's why I can't say anything more. I love you and I want you safe. I want you unharmed. You have to stay away from me.”

“Voldemort,” she fumed, “that's what this is all about.”

He slid forward on the bed taking her hands once more, “Promise me you’ll stay safe. That until this, whatever this is, is all over that you’ll stay away from me. If he knew about you, about us, if he knew about us he would kill you or torture you. I don't think I could live knowing that it was my fault.

She slid her hands up his arms to give him a hug, when she saw him wince she drew back, “Draco?”

He hung his head and crossed his arms over his stomach not answering her. 

“Draco?” she cried loudly then sat back and spoke much quieter, “You didn't… this isn’t what I think it is. Please tell me it isn’t. Tell me Harry is wrong. Tell me, Draco. You didn’t, you wouldn’t.”

He refused to look at her and mumbled something that neither she nor the two adults in the room could make out.

“Draco, talk to me. What happened? You have to talk to me.”

“He’s living in my house. He brought other people and they’re all living in my house. After the ministry, after father was sent... he moved in and brought Aunt Bella and several others.”

“Voldemort?”

He nodded.

She put a hand on his knee, “We're here now. You’re safe. Dumbledore will-”

He flinched at the man's name and began shaking his head vigorously, “I’m not safe anywhere and even if I were, he has my mother.”

“We can help her. I have people I can talk to. We can get her out. We can be sure she’s safe.”

“No, I already did that. She’s safe for now at least for a while.”

“How Draco? What did you do?” fear was evident in her voice.

He didn't answer her aloud just pulled up his shirt sleeve.

At the sight of the dark mark she began to cry. They sat quietly for what seemed to be an eternity before she looked up at him with a tearstained face and asked, “Willingly? You did it willingly?”

He nodded and spoke at the same time, “I did it to save my mother. If I hadn’t he would have killed her or worse, tortured her and made me watch. I’d do anything to save my mother, or you.”

“You should have contacted me? Or even Harry. We could have helped you. We could have gotten you and your mother out, or if not us we know people who could.” 

He reached out a hand to touch her hair but pulled it back “I love that you would have tried but I wouldn't risk you either and there's no way you could have helped us. We can't even leave the house without supervision. After father, he doesn’t trust us, he doesn’t truly trust anyone I don’t think. Do you see now why you have to stay away from me? He's watching me. There are spies everywhere, even here. And he's there when I go home. He’s one of the best Legilimens ever. I’m working on my Occlumency I’m just not that good yet. I keep trying, but I’ve had to do it on my own I don’t know who I can trust to help me, to truly help me. My mother suggested her sister as Bella is supposed to be really good but I’m afraid whatever she’d see she’d just tell him about. I don't want him in my head. I don't want him to see you. If he saw you I don’t know what would happen. He obviously hates you anyway just for who you are. He would kill you just for that, but if you mean something to me I’m afraid that he won't just kill you. He might keep you and torture you. I can't worry about you and mother both. I just can't. You have to stay away from me, you have to stay safe.”

 

“And what about you? Who's worrying about you?”

 

He shook his head, “This isn’t about me.”

 

“Yes, it is!” She insisted, “it's about you just as much as it is about your mother and me. Don’t you think if he did something to you that it wouldn't hurt your mother? That it wouldn't hurt me?” 

He dropped his head again “I don't have a choice.”

 

“There has to be something we can do. There has to be some other way.”

 

“There's not,” he said in a voice devoid of hope. “This is the way it has to be. I have to do what I have to do to save my mom and I have to stay away from you to save you if I can. I love you. Please Hermione, please just please until this is over.”

“And what if it never ends?” she whispered, “Or what if I lose you in the process?”

“Tis better to have loved and lost than -”

“Oh that’s such bullshite,” she roared. “Such utter bullshite!”

“Then you’d rather have never loved me at all?” he asked in a hushed voice.

“No,” she reassured him. “No, I just don’t want to lose you. This is all so mad. I see why so many couples married in a hurry the last time.”

“Married?” his eyes went wide. “You’ve thought about marrying me?”

She blushed, “Can you say you haven’t thought about it?”

“Of course I have, I just never thought you would accept. I think I’ve always been waiting for you to get smart and get away from me.”

“Draco, you’re worth so much more than you know.”

“If you love me that much will you please do this for me. Please it will help keep both of us safe. I know Potter and Dumbledore and dozens of others will do what they can to stop him. I know you’ll do whatever you can. Please be safe, please just stay away from me. Please let’s just say so long for now.”

“I hate this!” she rose and paced about the room, “I absolutely hate this!”

“But you know I’m right,” he replied. “You know we’re both safer if we’re apart right now.”

“Blast, I hate it. I don’t want to admit it but you are right. At least as things are right now. That does it. I’ll just have to help get rid of that that monster.”

“And you’ll keep your distance?”

“I’ll still be watching over you. I’ll still be watching to see if you’re eating. I’ll be keeping an eye on you in class. If you ever need me, ever you know how to get ahold of me. I keep this with me always,” she pulled the sickle from her pocket and held it up raising an eyebrow in question.

“It’s in my trunk,” he answered her unspoken question, “I left it there over break. I didn’t dare have it out. I’ll keep it with me. If you’re ever in danger use it or send me a patronus or an elf. I’ll find a way to help you if I can. Know though if I don’t come it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I can’t.”

She ran over to the bed and hugged him fiercely, “I love you,” she said through her tears.

“I love you too,” he whispered into her ear holding her tight for just a bit longer.

She stepped back and called for Dobby, he came, took her hand, and apperated her away. The whole time she kept her eyes locked with Draco’s. When she was gone he collapsed over on the bed sobbing.

 

In no time they found themselves following a pack of Slytherin students. Draco was trailing at the back of the group. He slowed and stopped leaving Harry and Hermione to nearly run through him. When they looked back at him he had reached down and put his left hand in his pocket. The majority of the Slytherin crowd kept walking down the hallway but Blaise turned around and said, “Oi Malfoy are you coming or what?”

Draco raised his head and said, “I just realized I forgot something. I'll catch up with you guys.” He turned and walked back down the hallway ducking the left into the boys loo. Harry went to follow but Hermione refused.

“Come on,” Harry said, “don’t you want to see what he’s doing.?”

“Nope won't do it, I won’t go in there. Besides she, or rather I, or whatever must have sent a message on the coin.”

“You’re really not going in?”

“No, what if someone else is in there. I don't need to see anything that's in there. It’s not like it’s Myrtle’s loo where nobody ever goes.”

Harry shook his head, “Look around you I don’t think we have a choice and it’s not like whoever is in there can see us so just close your eyes and I’ll lead you.”

“I hate this!” she snapped but closed her eyes and allowed herself to be pulled into the bathroom.

Shortly she felt herself being pulled back out of the room.

“It’s safe now. You can open your eyes. You were right he was looking at the sickle. We’re following him now to where ever it was she wanted to meet him.”

They went up a set of stairs, down the hallway there, up another staircase, and down one more hall before they turned into the library and went to the hidden little alcove. All three entered and found young Hermione standing staring out the window. She turned when she heard Draco drop his bag to the floor.

She stared at him with her arms crossed over her chest. Finally she spoke, “Katie Bell?”

The shoulders dropped but he didn't answer.

“It was you,” she said. “You could help her Draco. You could at least tell Snape what the curse was on that thing, even he doesn't know.”

“I don't know either,” he muttered not meeting her eyes.

“Then what were you doing giving it to her? How could you do something like that? Is it worth all this? Whatever it is your doing can’t be worth this! She could die!”

“She won't die.”

“How do you know that if you don’t even know what the curse is?”

“She would have died already if she was going to. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. And I didn't actually give it to her I just made sure that she would get it or someone would get it and carry it here.”

“So it was supposed to come to school?”

He nodded in response.

“Draco? I don’t understand. This isn’t you! You wouldn’t harm anyone. Why are you doing this? And don’t blame this on your mother again. You know we can find a way to help her,” she insisted.

“You can’t help her. No one can but me. I don't know why I’m here. I only came because I knew you'd send Dobby after me.”

“You really won’t tell me what you’re doing? You won’t let me help you?”

“There's nothing you can do, and no, I won't tell you what it is. I have to do this for Mother’s sake, for both of us. I can't fail. I'm sorry, I know this is hurting you. It's better if you just… if you…” he turned suddenly, grabbed his bag and ran from the space.

As the memory faded they could see Hermione collapse to the couch.

 

They shifted from being in the library to standing in the infirmary wing. They could see the blonde head in a bed nearest to them on the left. They heard the doors open, saw that it was just a crack and only for a few seconds before they closed. They heard the rustling of robes go past them to the bed where Draco was lying. All was quiet for a moment, everyone in the room looked toward Madame Pomfrey’s corner. When no peep came from her direction an indentation appeared on the bed next to Draco.

 

“Hermione?” he whispered, “you shouldn't be here.”

 

“I had to come. I had to see if you were okay after what Harry did to you.”

Adult Hermione reached around and pinched Harry, who jerked and whispered, “I know, I know it was stupid. I’ve apologized a dozen times.”

“I don’t know what he did. I've never heard that spell before. It doesn't matter.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? You’re here rather than in your own bed. From what he said you nearly died.”

“Potter was just defending himself. I nearly used an unforgivable on him. Maybe it would have been better if I had died.”

“Draco! How can you say that?”

“It would end it. I wouldn't have to keep fighting. Mother would have no reason to stay. I don't know that she loves father enough to stay for him. At least she could try to get away. You would be safer. Everyone would be safer. I can't do it anyway. I can’t do what I have to do. It would be better if I could just die.”

They could not see the girl crying though they could hear it. They watched as Draco rolled over in bed put his arm around the invisible girl, “Hermione, stop. I didn't mean it. I don't really want to be dead. I just don't see a way out of this. Not a good way where everybody… please stop.”

A wand appeared from what seemed to be thin air, then young Hermione removed the dissolution spell she had cast upon herself.

“It’s ok,” he said. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine you’re here,” she retorted, then froze.

No one moved as they heard the chair at the end of the wing slide back across the floor as Madam Pomfrey stood. Young Hermione quickly recast her disillusionment charm while Draco turned over away from her. As the witch walked down to check on him he tossed and turned a bit, muttering then settled quietly. Pomfrey came and looked him over then turned and began walking back finally ducking into her little room off to the side and closing the door all but a crack. 

Draco turned back over as quietly he could, moving very slowly. He wrapped his arms again around the girl lying on the left side of the mattress. It seemed that he was brushing her hair off her face, he then leaned over and kissed her. No more was said as the scene faded and then rose once more in the same place. There was a hint of light coming through the windows in the infirmary. One looked to pierce Draco's left eye. That eye lid cracked open before slamming shut once more. 

Again he opened his eyes and seeing the light he gently shook the girl sleeping at his side, “Hermione, wake up.”

There was a bit of movement as she spoke, “What time is it?”

“I don't know,” he replied, “I don't have my wand. You have to go now; the sun is coming out.”

The indentation on the bed changed as the girl they couldn’t see sat up, then stood. Hair was brushed back from Draco’s forehead. They heard her whisper, “I love you. When you need me, let me know.”

He didn't respond.

They heard her robes rustle as she past them rushing down the aisle to the door. 

 

When the scene had finished changing again they found themselves standing in the Room of Requirement, in its Room of Hidden Things configuration. Both adults knew that somewhere in this room was the vanishing cabinet that was the way into Hogwarts for the Death Eaters on the night that Dumbledore died, but it was nowhere in sight. Draco was sitting on a neglected chaise in front of a pile of chairs, elbows on knees, head in hands.

Neither of the adults was surprised when young Hermione popped into the room at Dobby’s side. She did not rush over to the blonde as the little elf disappeared, instead standing where she had landed.

“What can I do?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he said not raising his head, “I just needed to see you for a moment.”

“Then look at me,” she said.

He peeked through his fingers and bangs to meet her eyes.

“No, I mean really look at me,” she demanded.

Realizing that she was not going to come any closer to him he stood, dropped his hands to the side, and walked over to her stopping an arms-length away.

“I just needed a reminder. A reminder of what I don't know. I really don't know,” he stumbled over his words, “I just needed to see you.”

“So you didn’t have Dobby bring me here to ask me to help you, to get you out of whatever this is?”

“No.”

“Fine then I'm going,” she snapped then turned and moved to the door.

“Hermione,” he called out just as she put her hand on the handle.

She stopped but did not turn around and did not respond. 

“I love you,” he cried.

 

“I'm beginning to think if that those words don’t have the same meaning for you as they do for me,” she said, “goodbye Draco.”

Tears fell to the floor as he watched her leave. He began to rage, throwing things around the room, screaming nonsensical things. They watched him destroy things for several minutes until he picked something up and went to throw it then pulled it back to inspect it closer. He ran his thumb over the edge of the piece of glass in his hand. As they watched blood swelled up on that thumb. Draco stood staring at the growing bubble of red until it ran down his wrist. This seemed to stir him out of the stupor he had fallen into. He gripped the piece of glass tighter and began to savage his arm with it, crying out in frustration when the skin with the Dark Mark healed immediately after each pass. He began to saw at his arm around the edge of the mark, blood spilled to the floor but his arm continued to heal. Screaming out he switched hands and began slashing his other arm.

“No!” Hermione cried and began to rush forward.

Harry grabbed her arm, “It’s a memory remember, you can’t do anything.”

“I can’t just watch!” she protested.

“We don’t have a choice,” he replied, “he wanted you to see this -”

Harry broke off when Dobby popped into the room, began jabbering wildly trying to wrest the piece of glass from Draco’s hand, and finally popped back out.

“It’s almost over,” Harry said, “Dobby had to have gone for help.”

“But who?” Hermione asked just as Dobby popped back into the room holding a protesting young Hermione tightly by the hand.

“Dobby take me back right now!” she insisted.

“NO!” he stamped his little foot and shouted, “not until Miss Hermione helps Mister Draco.”

“He doesn’t need my help,” she snarled, “he doesn’t want my help.”

“He does need your help Miss, look at him, look at what he is doing, look look!” 

As Dobby pulled her toward Draco she finally looked over at him. As she took in the scene before her, the boy scratching viciously at his arm, the blood on the floor, and his pallor almost completely colorless, her eyes went wide, her jaw dropped then clenched as she swallowed hard. Pulling from Dobby’s grasp she pulled out her wand and shouted, “Petrificus Totalus!”

Draco froze and fell backwards onto the sofa that Hermione had summoned over behind him. She sat next to him and pried the glass from his hand smashing it into tiny pieces on the floor.

“Dobby destroy anything else he might hurt himself with,” she ordered, telling herself she’d apologize to the elf later for not making it a request. “Draco, Draco what were you doing?” 

She held his arm in her hands casting a quick spell to release just it, “Dittany, I need some dittany,” she mutters as she uses her robe to staunch the bleeding, putting pressure on the wounds.

Dobby was suddenly next to Hermione, “Here Miss, here is some dittany. The room is all clean. Do you want me to go get Madame Pomfrey?”

Draco began to moan and grunt in earnest, eyes wild.

Hermione shook her head as she took the dittany and began to apply it to the blonde’s arm, “No Dobby I think this will be ok for now, if I need anything else I’m sure the room will provide it. Thank you for everything.”

“Dobby will do anything to help Miss Hermione and those she cares about like I will for Mister Harry Potter. Dobby will go now. If you need Dobby again, Dobby will come when you call,” with that he popped away.

Satisfied that she had done all she could and Draco would heal, Hermione glanced around the room, saw a blood replenishing potion on the table, retrieved it and sat waiting for her spell to wear off.

“What is she waiting for?” adult Hermione hissed, “Why isn’t she dispelling the petrificus?”

“Knowing you,” Harry whispered, “I’d say she was giving herself and possibly him a chance to calm down before having any kind of conversation about what just happened. He’s okay now, it wasn’t as bad as when I cast the sectumsempra on him. At least he was bleeding slower, he should recover much quicker; I mean obviously he recovered we just shouldn't have as long to wait that’s all.”

It was clear when the spell released because Draco sagged back into the cushions.

“Here,” young Hermione said handing him the potion, “before you say anything drink this.”

He reached out weakly and took the bottle, draining it in a single swig, then leaned back into the cushions once more. After a moment he raised his arm to look at the healing lines reaching out with his other hand to run his fingers over them, curling his fingers under and running his nails over the lines gently at first then with increasing pressure.

Hermione snagged his hand away, “Don’t. Let them heal.” 

He pulled his sleeves down and fisted the ends into his hands and looked down at the floor.

She stood and moved toward the door stopping nearly there, “Why Draco? Why?”

He shook his head offering no other answer.

“No, that’s not going to work. I want an answer. Why would you do that to yourself? What is the point?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I really don’t.”

She sighed, “And why that arm?”

“The other one kept healing on it’s own. Once marked always marked, you should go. You should get as far away from me as you can and you should stay that way,” he said in a low voice.

“Promise me you’ll never do that again.”

“I can’t, I can’t make a promise I can’t keep, and I don’t know that I won’t try it again.”

She crossed the room again, falling to her knees in front of him, peering up into his eyes, “Do you think this will make things better? Can you even imagine what I felt when I saw you this way? What your mother would feel if you died? Don’t start again with she’d be free, that’s just shite! She would spend the rest of her life grieving her only child. No parent should ever have to bury their child and knowing where she is and who is in control do you think he’d even let her bury you? You’d be a disgrace, you’d put your mother and your father in an even worse position with him, don’t give him ammunition, don’t give him more power. Just don’t!”

“You’re right,” he whispered hoarsely.

“So you won’t do it again?” she asked in a shaky voice.

“I’ll try not to, that’s really all I can promise, but I can promise that,” he said refusing to meet her eyes.

She sat back on her heels and shook her head, “I guess I’m going to have to accept that.”

No words were exchanged for several minutes, they just sat in the room with her watching him and him peering at her through the hair hanging over his downturned face.

Finally she stood, “I do love you and I really can’t watch you do this to yourself, any of this. You know all you have to do is ask for help and we’ll find a way to do it. We’ll find a way to help you and your mother, even your father if you want.”

He nodded but didn’t reply.

She turned and left the room once again.

Shortly the two adults found themselves in the Slytherin dorms, specifically in the sixth year boys dorms. Draco stood near his desk, staring into an open drawer. He reached in a pulled something out that he then concealed in his right hand and pulled his hand up into his sleeve when Blaise and Theo walked in.

“Did you hear, Draco?” Blaise asked. “Slughorn nearly killed Weasley.”

“Aw come on Blaise,” Theo rolled his eyes, “Don’t make it more than it is? It was an accident after all. The bigger thing is it means someone was trying to kill Slughorn and while I don’t like him as much as Snape he is a former Slytherin and we should be watching out for who it is so we can make them pay.”

“Well it probably wasn’t a Gryffindor or they’d have warned Potter and Weasley,” remarked the Blaise.

Nott shook his head, “Unless they didn’t have time or didn’t think of it. Come on, let’s go to the Great Hall and see who looks suspicious.”

Draco finally spoke, “You two go on ahead, I’ll be there in a minute, got to use the loo.” 

The two young men left the room beginning to argue noisily as to who was at fault.

The blond sat on the edge of his bed, eyes closed, hands clenched, thumb running over whatever it was he held in his hand. After a moment of this he opened his eyes and his right hand, cupping it in his left. In the center sat his short silver knife used for potions work. The handle was cradled in his hand and the blade lay towards his body.

He sat and stared at the blade for what seemed to be forever to the two watching him before he picked it up in his left hand and whipped back the sleeve from his right arm. He held the point of the blade to his wrist, then slid it up to the middle of his forearm, and pressed just enough that they could see blood begin to ooze up around it. Suddenly he pulled back and reached into his pocket smearing the blood along his arm, now he held the Sickle in his hand. He looked at it only seconds before shaking his head and pocketing it.

Hermione began to cry and Harry put his arm around her and pulled her in close.

The young man in front of them again laid the blade to his arm but only held it there not pressing in. His head dropped to his chest, the blade was now held loosely in his hand between his legs, and he called for Dobby.

The little elf popped into the room, “What is you needing Mister Malfoy?”

Draco took a deep breath, “Take this knife please Dobby. I want you to bring it to me only before Potions class then come retrieve it after class, I have a promise to try and keep.”

“Yes sir, Mister Malfoy sir. Does Mister Malfoy want Dobby to get Miss Hermione?”

“No Dobby,” the blond said looking at the small wound on his arm. “Don’t disturb her, I can take care of this myself. Just take that knife away.”

“Yes sir,” Dobby said and popped away.

Draco, alone again, stood and went back to his desk pulling out a small vial of dittany, took out the dropper and held it over his arm for a solid minute before putting the dropper back in the bottle and putting the bottle back in the drawer and sliding it closed.

With that the memories ended. Harry and Hermione found themselves back in the small room next to the table holding the Pensieve again. He gathered her in his arms as she cried and stood there shaking his own head. He had suspected that Draco was bothered by what he had been assigned to do sixth year by Voldemort. Bothered, ha that hardly seemed the right word. He knew the other man had been increasingly worried and distracted throughout the year and his only concern had been to catch him at his plotting. He’d never really thought about what it was the other man might be going through, even with all that had passed between them Harry now felt guilty for not trying harder to catch Draco at what he was doing so he could help him and Narcissa. He shook his head, there was nothing he could do to change the past but he could continue to do whatever he could to help Hermione now. He had an idea, a trip to Kingsley’s office tomorrow would be in order, all he had to do was find an appropriate excuse. In the meantime Hermione needed comforting.

“Mione, he’s fine now. He stopped, you saw that,” he said trying to sound positive.

She wiped her eyes and protested, “But he didn’t heal that spot. He probably left it that way on purpose. He may have picked at the scab that formed, keeping it an open wound.”

He squeezed her arms, “He was wearing short sleeves when I went to see him in the States, and I didn’t see anything on his arms, even the Mark has faded to the point that it’s barely noticeable unless you know it was there. I’m sure he’s stopped now.”

She laughed ruefully, “Harry I love you but you’re not the most observant of people, it’s something you could have missed easily.”

“Really I’m unobservant when it comes to Draco?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Again she laughed this time more genuinely, “Did you ever notice how he disappeared off the map at the same time I did? Did you ever notice how he was watching me whenever we were in the same room? Or did you just think he was watching you and plotting against you?”

“Ok fine,” he rolled his eyes, “I did have a bit of a one track mind back then but I’ve been through auror training now and observational skills is a large part of the job. Besides you can ask him. I have a feeling he’ll be completely honest with you, if he weren’t going to be he would have never sent those memories.”

She nodded and said quietly, “Thank you.”

“Love you Mione.”

“Love you too Harry.”


	22. Chapter 22

2/20/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: speechless  
Dear Draco,  
I’m still trying to process the memories you sent. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to ask. I know I have questions but I don’t know where to start so I’m going to start with something that is essentially inconsequential. How is it you knew Alfred Lord Tennyson? He’s a muggle poet? I’m sure it must have struck me odd at the time but with everything else going on I’m going to assume I never asked how you know that line so I’m asking now. Even if I had asked you at some point I suppose I wouldn’t know anyway so again I’m asking now. More questions will follow as I have a chance to sort through my thoughts but let’s start with simple.  
Hermione

 

2/21/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: unwritten questions  
Dearest Hermione,  
I’m going to start by answering the question you asked and then answer the ones you didn’t ask but that are obviously ones you want to ask or will ask after you’ve thought about it for a while.

First I must admit I did not, until you asked, know who Alfred Lord Tennyson was. I had merely heard that line many times, now of course I know who the man is and have looked in to some of his other writings.

Now to answer the questions I am sure are circling through your head because they were some of the first questions you asked me after the war. I had thought about sending that memory along with the ones you just watched but for some reason held them back. I will still send them if you’d like but I’d also like to try to answer right now

Do I still cut myself? No, not since after the trials. There were times when I was locked up at the manor while awaiting trial that I might have had they not removed anything we might have used to do harm to ourselves. I was so sure I’d be locked up in Azkaban for life or given the Dementor’s Kiss, I slipped into a state of numbness I guess is the best way to put it. I needed to feel something but the only thing I could do was press my nails into my skin as hard as I could or use parchment to give myself papercuts to try and feel something even if just for a bit. The only time I’ve even come close to the thought of harming myself was when Potter brought the letter from you about your Obliviation but as he was here it passed quickly and then I was preoccupied with the idea of getting you back, and getting you back to yourself.

Did I continue to cut myself sixth year? No, but had I not handed Dobby my knife, had I not promised you I would try not to I probably would have. I settled for doing exactly as you expected me to do, or so you told me after the final battle, I wouldn’t let that scab heal. I picked at it almost daily, keeping my hands up under my sleeves so no one would see. It wasn’t much but it was enough at the time. I know that doesn’t make sense but it did to me then. It was a coping mechanism.

Did I cut myself seventh year? Here is where I disappoint you. I’ve seen the look on your face once when I said yes, I can clearly picture it now and I hate to make you feel that way again but I won’t lie. He was living in my house. My aunt was living in my house. I watched him kill so many people, and torture so many others, he made me torture so many. It was the only way I could get through. At the time it felt like it was only fair, it was punishment for what I was doing to others. Even when I was at school there was no escape with the Carrows in charge of discipline. They took it too far for even old Filch who always wanted to hang us up by our thumbs in the dungeons. Pansy caught me after the first time I had to use the Crucio on a first year. I’m surprised I didn’t bleed to death before she got there, it was worse than what you saw in that memory. She healed me, said nothing at all to any adults but she did tell Blaise and Theo. Strangely or maybe not she never said a word to Vince or Greg, no one did.

I learned Occlumency nearly as much to keep that from Bellatrix and Voldemort as I did to keep them from learning of our relationship. He had learned or created, I don’t know which and it really doesn’t matter, a spell that reopened old wounds. It was nearly as bad as the Crucio. Actually you should see if you can find out what it was, I don’t remember the incantation, maybe Mother does, but it should be added to the list of Unforgiveables. He could direct it at particular wounds or open any and all wounds you’d ever had. One time I wasn’t doing a good enough job of torturing someone for him and he cast it on me. Before I knew it my chest was sliced open again as if Potter had just cast the Sectumsempra. Please for Merlin’s sake do not tell him that. Bloody Potter will feel guilty and try to make it up to me somehow and he’s long since gone above and beyond on making anything up to me. He’s already apologized to me once for what happened, I don’t need him doing it again, especially since I was just as much to blame for that whole incident. Before I could block my thoughts Bellatrix was able to pull that one from my head and pass it on to Voldemort. She made a habit of verbally harassing me about all of my failures, including that one.

No I haven’t spoken to a healer about my cutting. I would if I still felt the urge to do it but I haven’t since the trials ended. Even at my most stressful times here I haven’t felt the need to hurt myself in any way. We talked about that before and you urged me to see a healer then though I don’t know that any healer would see me for that and I was afraid it would be used against me in court, just another reason to lock me up.

I’m going to send you the letters I have that we exchanged while I was under house arrest. You probably gave the letters I had sent to you to Harry or the Minister for safekeeping, unless the Wizengamot was smart enough to take them when they had you Obliviated. I’ll make copies of the letters you sent me, sorry don’t want to send the originals, and drop them in the post with the fastest international shipping option I can. Don’t feel the need to reply to me until you have read them. If for some reason you can’t get my letters to you, I can send you the memories of when I wrote them and you should be able to read them over my shoulder as I wrote them. Let me know if you need those.

I guess that’s all for now, but if you have other questions send them whenever you want, as they come to you or in one long list. Take as long as you need before you reply.

Always yours,  
Draco

 

 

2/27/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: still processing  
Dear Draco,  
I know you said take as long as I needed before replying but I must apologize for it being nearly a week. I have read your email multiple times trying to understand what you felt and why you felt the need to hurt yourself. The package of letters has come in the post and Harry has given me copies of those you wrote to him. He demonstrated unusual for him at the time quick thinking, he made copies before bringing the originals to the Wizengamot. They didn’t even ask him about making copies, guess no one thought the Golden Boy could be so sneaky.

They are sitting here on my desk just waiting to be read. The only thing I’ve done with them so far is to put them in the order they were sent. I’ve picked the first one up a few times to read and put it back down every time. I have no idea why I haven’t been able to bring myself to start reading, they can’t possibly be worse than the things I already know from the transcripts or the memories I’ve already viewed. Maybe it’s because it feels so private, like I’m reading someone else’s private thoughts and they’re my own. It’s all so frustrating. Still no change, no memories returned, well not no change I guess as I have started to notice those small changes like hair color in my memories but nothing big, no sign that they will ever return. I want to scream!

I will read the letters in time I promise, for now I’m going to just be thankful that you are so willing to be so open with all of this. 

I would still recommend you see a healer if for no other reason than to find some other coping mechanism should you feel the need to hurt yourself again.

I thought of returning to our “speed dating” get to know you game but that seems so superfluous right now so I’ll close by saying I will write again soon though about what I don’t know.  
Hermione

 

2/28/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: plenty of time  
Dearest Hermione,

Take all you need, there is no rush. I can’t return to England until my apprenticeship is finished so we can’t see each other until then and even then I’m willing to wait as long as it takes and if the answer is never while it will make me sad I will also understand.

Your suggestion that I see a healer in case of future issues… I haven’t yet but I am thinking about it. I may start though with the internet and possible NoMaj coping mechanisms. 

I don’t have much else to say other than, Martha is letting me do more and more of the work on my own without watching over me or having Terry watch over me. It’s almost relaxing to be able to just do what needs to be done and talk when we can.

How is your work going? Are you out of your mind yet with the bureaucracy? I don’t know how you do it. Even if I had been able to stay, even if the war had never happened I don’t know that I could have ever worked at the Ministry. Honestly I’m relieved to not have to keep up the family “business” all that pureblood political buggery is just nauseating and exhausting. It took me too long to realize that but now that I do I want nothing to do with it.

If and when you decide to continue the speed dating thing you can just send an email and we’ll pick it back up.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

3/4/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: I’ve done it  
Dearest Hermione,  
I spoke to Martha yesterday and explained our concerns about my self-harm issue. She recommended a healer and I have scheduled an appointment for next week. I am still also doing some research on non magical coping mechanisms, but I wanted to let you know I’d taken your advice.  
Always yours,  
Draco  
P.S. the first step they say to stop or cope is to confide in someone so I guess I’ve done that, at least three people know now.  
P.S. 2: Did you muzzle Potter? I’m rather surprised I didn’t hear from him about the cutting memories, he and his need to save everyone

 

3/6/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: glad to hear it  
Dear Draco,  
I’m proud of you for sharing with someone else and seeking assistance. When you talk to the healer ask them about the possibility that you would suffer from PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. It’s a fairly well known mental illness or disorder in the Muggle world but seems to be less so in the magical world. It used to be known by other names I think but often those that have been through a war suffer from the symptoms. I’ve noticed some of them in myself and more in Harry. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if you suffer from them as well.

Very funny, I didn’t muzzle Harry, didn’t even need to. He was comforting me. As we watched the memories he was reassuring me he hadn’t seen any signs of you continuing when he was there in the States to see you. He probably thinks because there are no signs that you’re fine. I on the other hand know that things can sneak up on you out of nowhere and the feelings can be overwhelming. All the more reason I’m happy you’re looking for more information and support.

No, I haven’t read the letters yet. I will, eventually.   
Hermione

 

3/7/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: will do  
I will ask about PTSD. I did just a bit of research and I don’t think I’m showing any of the symptoms but I guess they can take a while to appear sometimes. There is a delayed onset PTSD as well though it seems more rare. I will keep an eye out for the symptoms though and I will talk to the healer about that.

I don’t know that I can say Harry is right and I’m fine but I am better. Please don’t worry. Though now I must say I am worried about you if you’re showing signs of PTSD. Would you tell me about it if you’re comfortable doing that? If not I understand so long as you tell me you are talking to someone about it.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

3/7/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: don’t worry  
Dear Draco,  
No worries I’m keeping a close watch on Harry and he’s keeping a close watch on me. While we have each had nightmares, neither of us have had any other signs. We have each other to talk to about those though. It helps. 

Ok on to another topic. I have a question for you after reading through the trial transcripts if you’re willing to answer that is. I understand that it may be painful and I don’t want to cause you any nightmares so if you’d rather not then please say so.  
Hermione

 

3/7/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: ask anything  
Hermione darling  
I’m sure I’ve said before to ask me anything and I meant it. Answering your questions can’t be any more harmful than searchin my memories to find the right ones to send to you. That has only led to a nightmare or two. I’ll do my best to answer as completely as I can.  
Always yours,  
Draco

 

3/8/00  
To: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom  
From: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
Re: just one question  
Dear Draco,  
Well this will be one question but in parts and I’m not sure how many parts there will be until I ask so I’ll just do that. During the trial both Ginny and Neville testified that when the Carrows made you perform the Cruciatus on other students that you didn’t really do it or it wasn’t full force, how did you manage that? How did you get the young ones to go along with it if you couldn’t talk to them about it, or did you somehow talk to them? Harry also said when he could see in his mind what Voldemort was seeing he saw you using the same curse but that it was real not faked. How did you do that? Why the difference?  
Hermione

 

3/10/00  
To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom  
From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom   
Re: ummm  
OK so this wasn’t the easiest question to answer but it also wasn’t the hardest I could be asked. I did have to think about it for a while to try and sort it all out before I was willing to reply. I wanted the answer to be as complete and accurate as possible. With Voldemort there was always the fear of him not being satisfied and aiming his own wand at you which was just as likely to be an avada as a crucio. He was also an accomplished Leglimens and while I had gotten to be a good enough Occlumens that he stopped trying to get into my head he would go for the person I was torturing. It was something he truly seemed to enjoy, adding terror to their physical pain. The Carrows weren’t smart enough either one to even try or they would have because they enjoyed torture nearly as much as he did. As for the first years, it was just wrong. I think even when I was doing it or Voldemort I knew the person I was torturing was someone who had committed horrible acts on innocent people so they deserved it, or at least that’s what I told myself. The firsties were just so young and innocent. The first time the Carrows made me do it I got lucky, Greg and Vince were having the time of their lives and Neville was absolutely refusing to do it at all. I couldn’t do it, you have to mean it and I didn’t. I kind of hissed to the kid, a Hufflepuff, to just fall down. His eyes went wide and he just stood there so I stepped just a bit closer and said it again and pointed as subtly as I could to the poor Gryffs at the end of Crabbe and Goyle’s wands. The kid flopped back and I pointed my wand at him and he just laid there terrified. I could see the Carrows coming over out of the corner of my eye when Longbottom yelled again so they went to beat him. I was able to tell the kid to twitch. When it was over I told Theo, Blaise, and Pansy what I’d done. Overall it’s true Slytherins hold no love for the other houses, though they hate us too but none of us felt right about torturing little kids. I thought about sending you that memory in addition to the ones you’ll view tomorrow but decided I’d wait and see if you want to view it. I hope that answers your questions. I guess I’ll hear from you again after you view the memories though I understand if it takes a while or you choose not to.  
Always yours,  
Draco


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